


Mentor

by Aecc



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Death Eater - Freeform, Deathly Hallows, Draco/Reader - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Mentorship, Natural magic, Smut, Y/N insert, half blood prince, magical gifts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 50,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aecc/pseuds/Aecc
Summary: You aren’t sure what made you trust Draco Malfoy enough to tell him your deepest secret. Maybe it was because you saw how he wasn’t sleeping, eating or even living a normal life after getting his mark. You knew the anguish that came with it. Being a death eater was hard, for anyone. Especially with the task that was given to Draco. So the night you told him your secret, he slept the whole night for the first time in months.You may have kept him alive
Relationships: Draco Malfoy / Reader, Draco Malfoy/Original Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Reader, Draco/Reader, DracoxReader, malfoy / reader
Comments: 55
Kudos: 154





	1. A favor?

“Y/n” your mother called for you. You made your way down the stairs.  
“Yes mother?” You joined her in the parlor.  
“The meeting has been moved to The Malfoy Manor”  
“Wait, Malfoy as in…”  
“Yes”  
“So tonight’s the night?”  
“Yes. He will be brought in tonight and given his mission” you nodded to her words. You knew for a while that Draco was due to come into the world you have lived, as did he.  
-  
You pulled up the Manor, while you had been here a few times you have been meeting at your house as of recently. You walked into the house, the tall walls hung around you like a cathedral. Your hood hung over your face, as it always did.  
This would be the first time Draco would see you at the meetings, usually you could avoid him. This should be fun to explain.  
You sat at your seat beside your father, who sat beside Lucius Malfoy.  
“Bring the boy in” Voldemort called, Draco came out then. In an all black suit, looking already nearly sick.  
You avoided eye contact as he stood at the head of the table with Voldemort you hid your face behind your hood.  
The initiation really didn’t take long, a pressing of Voldemort’s wand to skin and the promise of blood.  
“For your task, Draco Malfoy, you will kill Albus Dumbledor” the table arose in talks, people insisting they should be the one to do it and upset this boy gets the task. Even your father whispered how you’d be better off for the job, he wasn’t wrong. But that’s not this works.  
Draco's face grew pale as the mark embedded into his skin.  
“Y/n take Draco to his room” the dark lord waves at you. Ugh why you?  
“Yes my lord” you stand, grabbing Draco’s arm walking him out of the room. He barely makes it to the bathroom before throwing up.  
“The nauseous feeling goes away after an hour or so.” You leaned against the doorway, not looking inside but listening to make sure he doesn’t hit the ground. He was silent for a long time, you peaked in to make sure he hadn’t drowned or something. He was sitting in front of the toilet staring at nothing.  
“You should see if you can get into bed. I will grab you some water” you neared him, his eyes didn’t look at you. You sighed, and leaned down helping him to his feet. He was easily a foot taller than you, but skinny.  
He still hadn’t spoken when you helped him into bed, grabbing his shoes and pulling them off, chucking them across the room  
“Those are expensive” he finally spoke.  
“I’ll replace them if I hurt them” you rolled your eyes. He often used his wealth as a tool to take down others, but he couldn’t do that with you. His family had pennies compared to your fortune.  
“How long have you been…” he couldn’t finish his sentence.  
“Since 15. Trust me, I was just as sick as you are.” You wandered away, getting him a glass of water from the sink.  
“Ugh tap water?” He complained when you handed him the glass, what a spoiled brat.  
“I can dump this on you instead if you’d like.” You gritted your teeth.  
“Actually that might be nice, I’m sweating my ass off” he reached down, unbuttoning his jacket. “Could you?” He held it out to you, hoping you’d hang it.  
“You’re joking?” You groaned but took it anyway, hanging it nearly on the rack in the corner, brushing off the sleeves. You turned around to find he had stripped off his shirt as well, his skin glistened until the lights of his room.  
“The fever will subside too” you walked over, grabbing the shirt he wore and bringing it to his laundry basket.  
“How have I never known you were a…” he still couldn’t say it.  
“A death eater? Oh I’m really good at hiding it. I found a glamour spell to hide the mark too. It doesn’t last long but it’s nice to have in case of, ya know, what ever.” You shrugged “mind if I sit? I think they expect me to wait it out and make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit or something” you gestured towards the bed.  
“Go ahead” he drank from the glass, the color of his face returning slowly. You and Draco had never been close, but you weren’t enemies either. You were a year above him at Hogwarts and in the same house. So you saw him a lot. You were one of the only people who could stand to be in a room with him for more than 5 minutes aside from his little lackies and that dreadful Parkinson girl.  
You sat on the end of the bed, your feet barely touching the hard wood floor. You kicked your shoes off lightly, pulling your legs so they sat side saddle to your body.  
“Better?” You asked you pulled the hem of your dress down your legs.  
“No. But yes” he set the now empty glass on his nightstand. “I can’t believe I have to…”  
“Yeah… that’s heavy.” You nodded, though you knew deep inside you, you’d trade him for his task anyday. He started looking sick again, his face went ice white as he thought about it. You jumped off the bed quickly grabbing the small garbage from his bathroom barley making it back to his bed where he leaned over.  
“Careful, you’ll ruin the hardwood floor” you backed away, hoping back onto his bed.  
“How am I going to do it…” he was panicked, rolling back into his original place.  
“Disarm and kill… that’s all you really can do. I don’t think Dumbledor will fight back with you. I bet that’s why he chose you” you watched him as is eyes seemed to glisten. “Please tell me if you’re going to cry because I can’t handle it”  
“I am not going to cry. I’m just so fucking hot I feel like my skin if peeling off” he went to unbottom his pants.  
“Wooooh, okay” you turned your head from him.  
“Don’t flatter yourself. I just need to get these damned things off.” You watched them as they fell to the ground before you.  
“Flatter myself? Don’t make me laugh Malfoy. I just don’t really want to see your dick, thank you very much” you shielded your eyes.  
“Fine.” He at the covers, taking the loose sheet and pulling it over him. “I’m decent”  
“Thank you” you turned back to him. He was barely covered, the sheet sat just around him. But you could tell he left his underwear on. Thank god.  
“Here” you stood, talking to a nearby window opening it, letting the light summer breeze roll past you and to him. He sighed at the feeling.  
“Thank you” he closed his eyes, the cool air giving him some relief. You sat back on his bed.  
“Isn’t 15 really young to become a death eater?” He finally bucked up the courage to say the word.  
“Yup. Youngest ever. But I knew my place” you knew since you were a child what would happen when the dark lord returned. You parents talked about it like religion, their whole lives dedicated to The Dark Lord. You’re convinced that’s why they even had kids, to use as soldiers. “You can’t let yourself crack.” You looked at him. His body now covered in little goosebumps from the cool wind on his sweat covered skin.  
“Crack?” He asked, pulling more of the sheet onto him.  
“Yes. This year is going to cause you a lot of pain. You’re going to find yourself asking why, and trying to find a way out. But there really isn’t one. We’re stuck” you explained. This is what life meant in a cult.  
“I know I can’t go anywhere. I know I have no choice…” his head seemed to hang and you watched him.  
“You’ll be okay. For real, just keep doing the usual stuff. Being awful to everyone and messing around like you usually do. But please just don’t be stupid and show some stupid girl your mark. We can’t be obliviating girls because you can’t control yourself” he had an incredibly nasty reputation for his nack of sleeping around.  
He scoffed, “I don’t think I will be hooking up with anyone this year. Pansy is annoying and Astonia is… well… things are weird” he sighed deeply.  
“Betrothed I see” you understood what he meant when he said weird.  
“Not really yet. Just talkings between parents. But she is in love with Theordore Nott. So she’s hoping they choose him. What about you? Betrothed?”  
“Not anymore.” You put shortly. Not wanting to explain any further. He got the feeling of abruptness and luckily didn’t ask anymore questions. “Are you feeling okay?”  
“I feel better. Still dizzy” he clenched his eyes together tightly.  
“Have you eaten?” You asked.  
“No not today…”  
“You knew this was happening, and you didn’t eat. Merlins sake boy no wonder you’re so sick.” You left the room quickly, ordering an elf to bring you some toast for Draco. They should know how he takes it.  
“They will bring you something” you walked back into the room. Draco seemed to be shivering a little.  
“Cold already? I didn’t they the shivers until the next morning. Maybe it won’t be so bad for you” you went to close the window, seeing the heard of death eaters rolling out into the forest outback. Meeting must have ended. You closed the window quickly.  
“Here Master Draco” an elf walked in holding a small plate.  
“Thank you” you took the plate from his hands. Nodding to him.  
“You don’t have to thank them.” Draco insisted as you brought the plate to him.  
“And I don’t have to be catering to you, but look what I’m doing”  
He chewed slowly on the toast, the sweet jam hitting his stomach in a good way.  
“I am going to go. If you’re okay enough. I don’t want our parents coming in here and seeing you practically naked.” You slid your shoes back on, first making your way to the shoes you had thrown, setting them up nicely before going to leave.  
“Wait. Can I write you if I have questions? I don’t think my parents will be much help” he asked.  
“I have a feeling we will be meeting here a few times a week now. But sure, don’t want our parents to think we’re sneaking around or something” that was the last thing you needed, letters were a lot easier to hide than private conversations. He laughed a little  
“Try a hot shower for the chills.” You called back before taking off. “It helped me a lot”  
-  
“How was he doing?” Your Mother asked when you got home.  
“He was fine. In the chills stage already when I left. He should roll through all the feelings quickly”  
“His parents asked a favor of you. They wished they would have caught you before the meeting but didn’t.”  
“A favor?”  
“Yes, they were hoping you’d kind of mentor Draco. They are concerned he is not as strong as he needs to be. And needs someone to keep him steady”  
“It seems a little odd that I go from barely speaking to Draco to being around him often does it not?”  
Your morther knew you weren’t close.  
“Perhaps you could explain to people you’d developed a friendship over the summer. Or a romance even. To play it safe” she nodded  
“Mother” you laughed lightly “are you suggesting a pretend to be dating Draco Malfoy?”  
“Just an idea dear. Besides, from what I hear he could use a distraction from all those girls at Hogwarts. Bit of a horn dog that one” you laughed at her remark.  
“You are not wrong there. I think a friendship will work fine mother. I don’t need to sleep with the boy”  
“Well that’s your business now isn’t it”  
Your mother had already treated you much more like an adult than normal parents do. Maybe it was because you had been an adult since you were made into a death eater at 15. She knew if she had you putting your life at risk, you deserved independence. And you have proven your loyalty plenty.


	2. That’s disgusting

Draco had only written a handful of times over the break. Seeing as you saw one another at least once a week at meetings, it seems he opted to speak to you in person. He made a good point when he said he didn’t want to leave a paper trail. Not evidence he was asking for your help. Obviously his parents hadn’t spoken to him about your mentoring him.   
“So they asked you to do what? Mentor me? I don’t need a mentor…” he sighed one night as the adults drank and ragged downstairs. The usual ending to a death eater meeting you typically didn’t take part in.   
“Yeah that’s what my mom said they asked. At least your parents only suggested mentoring. My mother made a much more hilarious comment” you laughed at her words again.   
“What kind of comment?” He asked.   
“She suggested I actually sleep with you to keep your mind on track” you scoffed.   
“Wait. Your mother said that? My mother would never bring up my sex life like that, she would simply die of embarrassment. As would I”   
“We have an interesting relationship. Comes with being so mature so young. Besides, you shouldn’t be having sex if you’re not comfortable talking about it” that was something you stood firm in, because sex wasn’t a shameful thing, and for someone to treat it like such was just someone hiding something from themselves. “People who refuse to talk about sex are usually the biggest freaks of them all” you laughed at yourself.   
“Hmm. Guess I never thought about it. I typically like to keep my specific details to myself.”  
“You may, but perhaps you should have that conversation with the girls you sleep with. Because I haven’t even slept with you and I know things.” You rolled your eyes. Pansy waved around her sexual exploits to anyone who would listen. And not in a healthy I am comfortable with my body kind of way, but a much too detailed I need attention kind of way.   
“Can’t help it if I’m just that good” he seemed so full of himself.   
“Eh. From what I hear you may be good to the beginning crowd. But you’d never hold up in the major leagues.”   
“What exactly does that mean?” Someone didn’t take well to insults.  
You sighed, okay well here it goes I guess. “While I heard you were well endowed. You’re sloppy, a taker more than a giver. You lack…techneek” you chuckled.his face flushed at your comment.   
“Well I can honestly say this is not where I expected this conversation to go” he rolled his eyes, clearly avoiding what you’d just said.   
“You asked”  
“I hear nothing at you at school actually. Guys boast worse than girls.”   
“Not about me they don’t. They know better. I will have to find something new to play around with though this year. All my previous choices graduated. Have any friends you think could keep a secret?”   
“Not a single one actually”   
“Damn 6th years.” You sighed. “All the guys in 7th year are afraid of me after I threatened to blow up someone’s bedroom for touching me… being only 17 is rough. I can’t even hook up with teachers”   
“Ew” he shook his head.  
“Aw come on. You can’t tell me Umbridge didn’t make your pants tighter. She was obsessed with you boys” you laughed loudly.   
“That’s gross. She was so… awful.”   
“And pink!” You both joined in rolling laughter.   
“What teacher would you even hook up with?” Draco asked after your laughter died.   
“I don’t know. Probably Snape.” You nodded, he was the only teacher really that you could think of “I bet he’s into some weird shit”  
“That’s disgusting” Draco chuckled at you.   
“I bet he’d let me call him daddy” you nodded. Trying to make Draco uncomfortable now. And it seemed to work, because he shifted in his seat.   
“I mean if you’re into the kind of thing…” he said.   
“I think everyone is into that kind of thing. They’re just to scared to realize it”   
“You think so? I disagree” his tone was far frim convincing.   
“Aaaanyway the mentor thing. I won’t push it, but I do have to report back. I would appreciate it if you didn’t rat me out for telling you” you looked back at him, he was seemingly stuck in place.   
“Yeah no problem. Thanks”   
“Cya later Malfoy” you left him alone in his room, his mind racing.


	3. Bliss

“Hey Malfoy, wait up” you called as you saw him entering the train. “I just wanted to say have a good first day and all that. I’m going to sneak around the train for the ride and see what I can sniff out on Harry Potter” you were whispering as people shuffled around you. Draco was tense, his skin sank a little and his eyes were dark.   
“Wait.” You grabbed his arm. “Are you not sleeping? You look exhausted?”  
“I’m fine” he spat   
“Shut the fuck up with the attitude. Now be serious”   
“No. I’m not sleeping.” He watched your eyes. You sighed.   
“Come to my room tonight. I will see what I can whip up to help you okay?” This was going to be harder than you thought.   
You spend the entire train ride listening in on low conversations, nothing really exciting seemed to happen. Until you heard about a black cloud of smoke that filled the Slytherin train car.   
“Fucking first years” you rolled your eyes as you continued to listen, the first years always seemed to get into things they shouldn’t.   
—-

Dinner was the same as usual. Sorting happened, people whispered saying they hadn’t seen Harry Potter get off the train. Great, you skulked that whole time for nothing.   
Draco walked in, sitting beside you at the table. A smug look still lingers though he was not smiling.   
“What did you do?” You whispered.   
“Later” he replied, not looking at you. Why was he having such a hard time looking at you?   
Dinner went by fine, a herd of first years found their place around the table. A couple of them whose parents you knew from the meetings. You wondered who else at the table may join someday, When the dark lord wins. probably most of them. 

“You did what?” You asked as Draco sat on your bed in his pajamas. A wicked smile painted his face.   
“I broke his nose,” he grinned. You sighed.   
“You’re lucky that’s obnoxiously in character for you.. otherwise I’d tell you to lay low” you rummaged around your room. Your roommates should be in shortly, so you wanted to get Draco some help sleeping before then.  
“I need you to keep a secret. A big one okay?” You looked at him.   
“I mean.. yeah? Who am I going to tell?” He asked.   
“The Dark lord? Your parents? I mean seriously no one. I am going to help you. But it needs to stay between us” you looked at him seriously. He nodded. “I am going to need a secret from you. So I have something over you too” you crossed your arms   
“Hey. How do I know your secret is even worth it?”   
“It is. Trust me.”  
“Fine… uhhh… “ he thought for a long moment. “I hooked up with a guy once.” He wouldn’t look at you. Now that was a surprise.   
“Top or bottom?” You tried not to laugh.   
“Bottom... And I hated it” you smiled, “don’t laugh at me”   
“I am not laughing. How do you know if you like it if you don’t try it. I get you, I definitely did my fair share of trying. Anyway.” You sighed. That’s not what this conversation was about. “You are going to have to sleep in my bed if you want to sleep through the night”   
“Wait. What? Like in the same bed? Won't that be… weird?” He asked.   
“Not if you don’t make it that way. I am going to close the curtains so no one can see us. I just need you to trust me”   
“I have nothing to lose”   
“Okay then” you crawled into bed, pulling the curtains of your bed closed. “Come” you held your hands out to him.   
“What?” He watched your hands   
“I need you to lay your head on my chest. It works best that way” he looked at you, reluctant. “Okay. I know I am not your type. But I am trying to help you here”   
He didn’t say anything, instead he just laid with you, his head resting on you. You began to hum softly, your voice filling the room.   
“I don’t see how…” he started, stopping as his eyes started to fade shut. The lush smell of your skin consumed him, rain and fresh coffee. A rushing sense of relaxation took over him. What was going on? He was deep in sleep before he knew it. You kept him there, your hands on his skin. You could see the tension rolling off of him and into you. It ached, the kind of pain only someone who was really hurting would feel. 

He opened his eyes, feeling more rested than he had in a month. What had even happened? He looked at you, you both sat up. He went to speak but you reached your hand and touched his lips   
“Shhh” you whispered softly. Your roommates may still be in the room. You peeked through the curtain slowly. No one, good.   
“We’re safe” you said, stretching.   
“What was that?” He watched you, a little fear stung his voice.   
“I am a patholanetic. I can make people feel what I want them to feel, but I also take on what they’re feeling in return” you hadn’t spoken these words to anyone after what happened with the last.   
“Wait.. really?” He stared at you.   
“Yes. I gave you the feeling of bliss. The best way to get someone to sleep deeply. And in return I took on your anguish.”   
“That’s… amazing” you expected a harder response.   
“I am sorry your heart hurts so badly Draco” you felt so much sadness from him, it was miserable.   
“Wait. So you didn’t sleep?” He watched you concerned.   
“No. But that’s okay. I sleep fine the majority of the time and you needed it so badly. I won’t mind a night here or there”   
“You mean you’re willing to do this for me more?” He felt an overwhelming sense of relief, but also conflict.   
“If you keep my secret. I am willing to help you” you had no idea why you thought you could trust him, maybe because he was the first person to be in similar shoes to you. A death eater here at Hogwarts.  
“What else can you make people… feel?” He asked, needing to know more.   
“Anything really” you explained, “but I need to be touching the person. Otherwise it doesn’t work as well” He nodded, lost in thought for a long second.   
“Please tell me I can trust you” you looked at him again, catching his eyes.   
“Yeah you definitely can. Thank you”   
“For what?”   
“Giving me the first taste of bliss I have felt in years”


	4. Now scram

“Dude where were you last night? I never heard you come to the room?” Zabini asked when Draco walked in late to breakfast. It was only Sunday so breakfast ran later than usual. Which he appreciated because he was finally hungry for once. You stayed back figuring you’d catch an hour or two of sleep.  
“Just elsewhere” he sat down, picking up a piece of toast and eating it. It actually tasted really good, recently food had been repulsing him. So this was nice.  
“Have a new girl already? Or were you with Pansy?” Zabini starred at Draco as he chewed  
“Not Pansy. I am so over that.”  
“Astoria?”  
“Definitely not”  
“Then who?” He asked.  
“That’s my business. But thank you for asking” he rolled his eyes. Maybe you had something on being confident but not boasting, not like anything really happened.  
“Alright bruv, keep ya secrets” Zabini rolled his eyes back. Draco considered cutting all ties with everyone here, but he remembered how you had warned him to act normal.  
-  
You got dressed, pulling in a deep green sweater and black pencil skirt. Looking nice was something you didn’t get to do much here during the week, so you always took advantage of it during the weekends.  
You made your way to the common room, your stomach growled. It was still 2 more hours until lunch. So you had to find a way to distract yourself.  
You found an older book, something left behind by someone from the library you guessed, that’s easy enough to skim through.  
Draco came into the common room with a group, you barely met his gaze. Trying to act normal.  
“Hey guys I’ll meet you up there. I think I left something in the great hall” he pretended to turn and leave, allowing his friends enough time to walk up the stairs.  
“Y/n.” He sat by your side.  
“You said you have to be touching someone for it to work right?”  
“Shhh” you looked at him, scanning the room to make sure there really wasn’t anyone. “Yes. I have to have skin contact. Why?”  
“Because at breakfast today was the first time I felt like eating in a while. The food actually tasted good. I figured it was….”  
“Nope. Your body probably is just happy you finally slept. While I can make people hungry, hunger for food is a hard one. I can do it, but it takes a lot out of me”  
“What else is there to be hungry for?” He looked at you confused. You rolled your eyes.  
“Sex, Draco. I can make someone horny essentially” you were whispering. He didn’t seem to get the hint.  
“Can you really? Have you ever done that to someone before” he was being far from silent.  
“You been to quiet the fuck down.” You glared at him. “And no. I haven’t. I don’t have a hard time turning people on, on my own.”  
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean…”  
“You should go to your friends. They’ll be missing you”  
“But…” he wanted so badly just to stay here. You lifted your finger to his face just assuming what he wanted.  
“Just go Malfoy” you sighed, letting your hand fall. The warmth of your hand lingered on him. Why did he want to touch you so badly? -  
You were walking into the lunch room a little late. You had gotten sucked into this old relic book someone no doubt stole from the restricted section of the library. Your eyes skimmed the table. Catching Draco, whose long face gave away his distress. He was pushing the food around his plate, that appetite must have dissipated. You walked over, taking the empty seat next to him where Pansy usually sits. She was nowhere to be seen so you figured it was fine.  
Draco looked at you slightly as you sat, you grabbed a little food and started eating. You wanted something in you before the food repulsed you instead.  
After just enough food to fill you, you let your hand rest on the table. As close to dracos as you could without holding it. Letting the skin touch his, rolling hunger over to him as hard as you could, hurting your head a little . You felt a twinge in your stomach, the food that you had just eaten was threatening to come back. But you held it down. Draco felt the aching feeling of hunger washing over him, he tried hard not the smile at you. He started eating, not letting his hand leave the side of yours. He was only a few bites in when you heard a forced coughing noise. You turned to see Pansy with her arms crossed standing behind you.  
“That’s my seat” she tried to look intimidating  
“Pan-“ Draco started. You looked at him quickly, giving the signal to back away. You stood, only a little over Pansy’s height but definitely stronger.  
“Last time I checked. We don’t assign seats. And I’m sitting here today”  
“But that’s my seat” she looked at Draco, hoping he would defend her.  
“Don’t look at him. Look at me” you pulled her attention back to you “catch an attitude with me again Parkinson and see what happens”  
“I’m… I’m not scared of you” she tried to act tough.  
“You should be. No scram, this is my seat now”  
She didn’t say much, she just turned and found the nearest open seat. You sat back down, calming yourself before letting your hand rest back on the table. Draco gave you a look, asking for permission. You nodded at him.  
He almost held your hand as he set down his, it was hard to avoid prying eyes when you sat so close and nearly held hands at the table.


	5. Even you couldn’t fix

“Thank you for that today.” He whispered to you as you walked the halls back to the common room.   
“Don’t mention it. I made sure to eat first. I noticed you ate some at dinner without me” you had taken your seat by him again. Claiming your space and your hierarchy.   
“I did. I think even just having you sitting next to me works somehow. Are you sure you have to be touching?” You stopped just outside of the common room.   
“Yeah usually the only real emotion I can push easily without contact is anger. Because it’s so red hot and people typically have a lot of it”   
“Or maybe you’re stronger than you think” he shrugged, letting you through the door first.   
People watched as you and Draco walked in together. You put on a quick show.   
“Yeah so thanks for helping me figure out why the password wasn’t working. I think the lady hates me” you started. He looked from you and then around the room.   
“Yeah no problem” he nodded, leaving you standing in the doorway. You walked to your room, you hadn’t made much of an effort to make friends since you got your mark. Though you had a few girls you’d occasionally sit with in the common room or go to the lake with.   
-  
You had classes early, one of the first potions classes of the day. You walked in, seeing Draco standing alone in the room.   
“Uhh. This is 7th year potions, I think you have the wrong room” you took a seat.   
“Yeah, I tested out of 6th year in Potions and Herbology. So I am taking them for the 7th years.” he took the seat next to you.  
“That’s convenient. Who arranged for that?”  
“Snape I think”   
“Ohhhh Daddy Snape.” you laughed, he shuddered.   
“Never say that again” Draco felt like puking every time you joked about it.   
People started filing into the room, one after another finding their seat. Of course nearly every eye was on you two, who had chosen to sit together though there was every other seat open.   
The room filled, most people stayed standing assuming Slughorn would assign seats, and he did.   
He flowed through the room, intentionally placing people but people they don’t like. Until he got your Draco’s name. He looked at the two of you sitting next to one another.   
“Malfoy, you can stay there. Y/l/n, you as well” Slughorn saw you two, the only ones already sitting. Everyone groaned as they took their assigned seats.   
Class went by without much issue. Slughorn explained how he was teaching younger classes about Amortentia, so he brought in some for everyone to experience in case they hadn’t before.   
“Would anyone like to volunteer?” You thought about raising your hand, last time you had smelt it, it smelt like nearly nothing. So why not try again? You were about to raise your hand when Slughorn spoke.  
“How about you Malfoy? Come” he waved to Draco, who grudgingly stood.   
“Okay…” he leaned forward, smelling deep on the potion. His face set deep, he must smell a lot of things “Rolling waves, fresh spring rain” he breathed in deep, his eyes catching you for a moment as they reopened. “And brewing coffee”   
“Alright. Sit Malfoy” he excuses Draco, who sits in his seat. Slughorn continues to talk, your mind starts to wander. You have heard all this before, so it wasn’t like you really had to listen.   
“Y/l/n” you heard him speak “Can you answer my question”   
“Powdered moonstone, sir. Preferably crushed my hand with a marble pumice stone.”   
“That is correct…” he really thought he caught you off guard. 

“That was awful” Draco sighed as you gathered your things.   
“Be happy you smell something. I didn’t the last time I smelt it. That was embarrassing”   
“Maybe tomorrow you should volunteer. See of maybe that’s changed”  
“Try to wear less cologne maybe… I don’t know how you can smell anything over that” you scoffed. He didn’t speak, he hadn’t even put any on that day.   
-  
Slughorn didn’t speak about the potion again, so you may never know if you smelt anything that go round.   
It had been a week since Draco had slept in your bed, his face was starting to sink into itself again. His eyes were dark and sleepless. You watched him as he started ducking around corners. Snapping at people more than he usually did.   
One day after potions, you grabbed his hand. Stopping him from storming out of the room as he usually did. Sending him a little calmness, and in replace you felt pain, and a rushing heartache that made you feel so filled with sorrow. He sighed as you held his hand, the closest thing he’d had to a break from this feeling.   
He pulled your hand, crashing himself into you. Hugging you close to him, his face digs into the skin of your neck, needing to just feel good for even a second.   
You felt something change through you, his pain melted away from both of you. A humming perfection wrapping you both in this moment. You had never had this before, what was going on? But you couldn’t resist it, you just held him back.   
“Should I come to you tonight? Do the boys' beds have those curtains like the girls do?”   
“They don’t, but I will make one.” He couldn’t let go of you, his body just wouldn’t let him.   
People started filing into the classroom, Draco didn’t seem to notice them.   
“Draco” you whispered to him “this class is starting soon. We have to go” he pulled his body from you. But didn’t release your hand. Clearly he didn’t care about the watching eyes. You walked into the hallway, pushing past people as they came in.   
“People will talk” you pulled your hand from him.   
“I know. I’m sorry. I just don’t know how much more of this I can take” he sighed.   
“I will meet you in the common room after dark. We should wait until your roommates are asleep though.” He looked weak. “Have you eaten?” He just shook his head. “When was the last time?”  
“Monday” it was Thursday morning.   
“Draco. You should have told me sooner.” You reached your hand to his face, which was smooth under your fingertips.   
“I didn’t want to bother you.. besides I’ve been busy with that cabinet and sometimes I just forget”   
“Well breakfast may be over. But we can find a little something in the kitchen”   
You walked together to the kitchens, which were just beside the hufflepuff dormitories.  
“Sit, I will make you something” he lifted himself to sit on the counter. Watching you as you made him something simple.   
You set it before him, he looked at it for a long minute.   
“Here” you touched his hand. Trying hard to give him hunger. You closed your eyes, pushing. “Sorry I” you gripped his hand.   
“It’s ok. I know it’s a lot for you”   
“Can you come sit here?” You pointed to a chair into the room. He let himself down from the counter. Sitting, you walked around him. You leaned down to him, resting your cheek onto his neck, your arms wrapped around his chest. You cleared your find, focusing. He sighed at the feeling of your warm skin on him.   
“Thank you” he said, pulling the food to his mouth. Eating slowly. You had to admit, he smelt really nice and his skin was soft.   
He finished eating, but you were so lost in the feeling of his skin, you had your eyes closed. He raised his hand to your arm.   
“Sorry” you went to pull away, but he didn’t let you go.   
“I don’t know if I can handle this anymore”   
“I know it’s hard Draco. But I got you okay?” You felt a sadness rolling over you, your eyes nearly brought to tears. You turn your body and pull yourself onto his lap. He just leaned down, crying into your shoulder. You didn’t push anything onto him, you just let him cry. His arms held you tight to him. There were some things that even you couldn’t fix.


	6. He was my betrothed...

“I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that…” he spoke once you split. Wiping his eyes.   
“You just needed to be with someone you felt safe doing it with. I’m honored it was me”   
“I have to tell you something but I really don’t want to freak you out”  
“Shoot. I doubt you can”  
“I am afraid to be away from you. I’m scared I’m going to snap” he was so rocked with fear you could see it in his eyes.   
“Then don’t be away from me when we can help it. I will stand by your side when you need me. But I can’t promise I can always help you like this all the time. It’s incredibly draining to me.”   
“You don’t need to. Even just you being by me makes me feel better. I’m cracking. And you told me I couldn’t crack”  
“Then I will do my best to hold you together”   
“I don’t know how I could ever repay you” he stood close to you, distance his greatest enemy.   
“I am sure someday we will figure it out. Anyway, we should head to back. You keep making me miss classes somehow” you smiled at him, trying desperately to lighten the mood.   
“I can’t promise I won’t keep doing that” his brow lifted, was he flirting with you? 

“I will see you at lunch?” You asked as you both left the kitchens, the hallways crowded with people. You didn’t have another class with Draco until herbology later in the day.   
“Meet me in our usual seats?” He still stood close to you, people’s eyes skimming you both as they walked by.   
“You’d better make sure what’s her face isn’t in my spot” you both walked now, seeing the faces on you.   
“I’ll save your seat” he nodded. You split off then, you walking down to Defence against the dark arts and Draco to Care of, which was outside. You rushed quickly through the crowd, not noticing his eyes as they watched you leave.  
-  
“You’re late” Snape spoke as you walked into class.   
“Sorry professor.” You nodded, taking your seat by Marcus Flint. Who looked at you only slightly from the corner of his eye. He was one of the few people who weren’t afraid of you in your year, he wasn’t afraid of much actually.   
“I am aware that the previous professor Lupin had younger years facing off against this beast. Seeing as we have been studying morphing creatures, I figured it was best to have you all try as well” Snape spoke, you pulled your book out quietly turning to the page he had written on the board. 

You all stood in a long line, you lingering at the very end. You hadn’t been in the class Lupin taught, the lesson had been cut short when it turned into Harry Potter's greatest fear, a dementor, and attacked him.   
All the students rolled through, you watched patently as each petty fear rolled. Spiders. Snakes. The dark even? All usual things. Seeing as you were in the back of the line, class was nearly over when it finally reached you. Students were waiting patiently to be told they could leave, you sighed as the student in front saw a clown. Making it into a bubble man with a spell. Snape's eyes shot to you as you took his place, the boggart stood still for a moment, watching you. You knew what Snape thought you’d see, but he was wrong.   
With a flash the Boggart changed, until standing before you was him. A tall boy with dark hair, in Durmstrang robes. With thick muscles and black eyes. Your body instantly started shaking. Your heart stopped, Matthew stood before you. Your ex boyfriend, your mission, your history stood before you.   
“Who is he?” The boggart yelled, mimicking the voice. “You slut!” It screamed, his arm raising to strike you suddenly. Before anyone could move the boggart hit you hard, causing you to fall to your knees. Snape moved fast now, trying to get between you and the Boggart.   
“Riddikulus!” You yelled before Snape got too close. Making what was Matthew morphed, into someone similar but blue and wet, bloated and drowned looking. The same way you’d seen him last, when you killed him.   
Snape snapped the Boggart back into the cabinet it came from. You stood, your head admittedly spinning. No one in the room spoke, you wiped away at blood that ran down your forehead and nearly into your eye. The hit must have broken skin.   
“Y/l/n..” snape started speaking, before he could say anything you turned. All eyes in the room watching you, including the heard of the next class who were wandering in. Your eyes settled on Draco’s, who was in the next class in. You pushed hard against everyone in your way, every eye in the room holding pity. It made you sick to think about, how dare they pity you? You were stronger than all of them.   
You walked into the hallway, pushing through the crowd. You had to get away, now. As you crashed through the crowd of people you felt a hand on yours, making you jump and nearly turn to fight. Until you saw him, standing high over the other students. Draco’s fingers held tight to your skin, his hand cold. You fully expected to see that same thing in his eyes everyone else gave you. That disgusting pity, but instead his face was flat. Almost stern. 

“Snape excused me” Draco explained as you found yourselves in the courtyard, the sky rolling into a storm. The cracking of distant thunder fileld the air. “He was worried my greatest year would be something he didn’t want the other students to see”  
“Is that your greatest fear?” You tried hard to avoid the questions you knew he was filled with.   
“Either him or that snake…” he admitted. You nodded, Nagini was frightening on her best days. Lethal in every way. “So..” he spoke.   
“You want to know who he was” you guessed you couldn’t hide your secrets forever, the dark lord may mention it one day and it was easier to just tell him now.   
“Not if you don’t want to tell me”  
“That was Matthew” you explained “he was my task” you didn’t look at Draco. Instead you watched your hands.   
“Your task…” he mocked your words, knowing exactly what you meant.   
“The dark lord said love makes you weak. Commanded me to kill Matthew to prove my loyalty.” You let your eyes wander to Draco, whose face was still flat. “He thought it would hurt me to do it… he had no idea how relieved I was to be rid of him… no one did” Matthew had been your weakness for years. You spent many hours spelling away black eyes and bruises, but then running back to him.   
“He would hit you” Draco didn’t ask, his voice was matter of fact.  
“A lot” you watched the sky. “Before the dark lord commanded him dead he nearly beat me to death… he was a flight risk to the mission”   
“He looked older than you..”  
“He was 18…”  
“Wait… didn’t you get it at 15?”   
“I did… he was my betrothed”   
“Did you parents know?”   
“No”   
“I’m so…” you cut him off.   
“Don’t say it. Just don’t… I can’t handle it” you really couldn't, the word sorry was worse than any curse word to you. It stung like acid in your ears.   
“Okay” his hand came up slowly, wiping at the cut on your forehead. The cool feeling of his fingers felt nice on your hot skin.


	7. Excellent!

“You don’t have to come tonight if you don’t want to” Draco spoke softly as you walked to lunch.  
“You think me weak Mr. Malfoy '' he had brought you to madam pomfree to get the cut looked at. Luckily it wasn’t deep so they just let you leave.  
“No I just…” he didn’t know what to say. If it had been anyone else, they may have needed so badly to be alone. But you didn’t, being alone was not at all what you wanted.  
“Come get me after dark” you smiled at him, his thin face smiling back softly. 

You slipped into your pajamas that night, pulling your hair up into a high ponytail. Your roommates were already snoring by the time you walked downstairs. Hi had managed to tuck a few hours away after dinner so you’d be ready to stay up all night. You walked silently down the stairs, your slippers muffling your feet on the stone stairs. The constantly rolling fire crackled, filling the empty common room with noise. You thought for a second he hadn’t shown, until you caught sight of him. He was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, a book in his hand.  
“Hey” you whispered as you walked to him. He was wearing a deep green pajama set, plush cotton much like yours. He had amazing taste.  
“Hey” he stood then, book marking the book he held. The same relic book you had skimmed through the other day. “Do you’re the one snatching books” you smiled.  
“I’m trying to figure that thing out” you were both whispering softly.  
“I can help you.. if you’d like. Repair magic is something I dabble in”  
“Id really appreciate that… I am having a hard time sneaking into the restricted section anymore. It was so much easier last year”  
“You also shot up a solid foot since last year” you reminded him. The summer had been both cruel, and so kind to him. His boyish frame grew muscular, his shoulders broader and more intimidating. You noticed then the darkness in his gray eyes. “Let’s go” you reached for his hand. He nodded, allowing for your fingers to lace around his.  
“Thank you” he said again as you pulled his head to your chest. The curtains surrounding you closed tightly. This time you didn’t hum, not wanting to awaken anyone in the room. Instead you just touched his hair softly, your other hand resting softly on his arm. As you pushed, you felt your head spin. Your heart hurt so badly you wondered if it may break completely. As he drifted off his hand came up, pulling the hand that rested on his arm into his fingers then to his lips. His breath was soft on your hand, his lips only grazing the skin there. You couldn’t help but listen to the perfect rhythm of his breathing, his tensions melting into his sheets. You could feel just how exhausted his body really was, and it hurt.  
You were surprised when you woke up, his head still laying firmly in your chest. An alarm in the room blared loudly. Instead of speaking you just tapped his shoulder softly.  
“Wake up mates!” A voice made you jump. “Oi Malfoy unless you want me to take down that lady curtain of yours i'd recommend you get up!” You recognized the voice and Goyle.  
“I’m up” Draco groaned from his place on your chest.  
“Are ya now?!” You heard Goyle walking over to the curtain. Draco moved fast, rolling onto you and holding the curtain closed.  
“Yes I’m awake. Shove off” he was clearly unamused.  
“Mate if you started sleeping naked or something just tell us so we can burn our eyes out!” Goyles feet hit loudly as he walked away from the bed. Draco was hovering over you, his fist in the mattress, his weight pressing you against it as well. He caught your eyes in the dim light.  
Sorry he mouthed as he pulled off of you, sliding away.  
It’s okay you mouthed back, sitting up. You had meant to get away before anyone had woken up and go back to your room. Now you were stuck.  
You didn’t bring anything? His lips moved but no worlds came out, seeing how you sat.  
No, I planned to be gone by now. I fell asleep. You carried on a silent conversation.  
I’ll get you something to wear he nodded, pushing through the curtain and into the rest of the room.  
“Aye look who's up! And not naked” you heard Crabbe laughing.  
“That would be weird. No shut it and go. I’ll be down in a bit”  
“Better hurry, y/n is usually there early and I’m sure you need all the time to stare at her as you normally do” Goyle laughed.  
“Shove off Goyle” Draco snapped a little.  
“Cya there” Crabbe said, the sound of the door pulling shut behind them. Draco pulled open the curtain then, the sun hurting your eyes a little.  
“Here” he said handing you a pair of dress pants and a sweater.  
“I think they’ll be a little big on me” you took the clothes into your hand.  
“I’ll fix it up” he turned from you. Digging for his own clothes, you looked away as he pulled at the buttons of his pajamas. You pulled the curtain back shut, your fingers working at the buttons of your own too. Pulling his sweater over your skin once you stripped down to your bralette. It was soft, expensive. The sleeves hung long on you, it was incredibly cozy.  
“I need to put the bottoms on” you spoke as you heard him grabbing his robe.  
“Okay I’ll look away” he turned towards the door, Clasping his robe shit. You pulled the curtain away stepping your feet onto the cold floor. You watched him from the corner of your eye as you pulled away your bottoms, folding nearly tripping as you pulled them off. Draco turned as he heard you stammer, his eyes catching you as you stood up in his sweater and your underwear. He was frozen in place.  
“Hey” you snapped your fingers at him.  
“Sorry” he flushed red, turning away again.  
“Bloody pervert” you giggled, pulling on his dress pants. You were right, they were long on you. You felt like a child in their parents clothes. “You can turn around now” you held the waistband of the pants.  
He grabbed his wand, his face still coming down from the flush it held. He wave it over the pants, they shrank to fit you almost perfectly.  
“You will have to teach me that one” you smiled. As he went to wave it over the sweater you stopped him. “I like this big.”  
“Okay” he nodded. “I have an old robe you can wear” he dug through his case, pulling out a slytherin robe. “It’s from 4th year so it should fit you”  
“You carry around all your old clothes?” You asked, pulling the sleeves on.  
“Just robes, I can use that spell to make them larger as well. It’s nice having back ups.” He gathered his bag now, tucking away his potions book.  
“I don’t have my book” you sighed, pulling together the final clasp, it was right. It fit pretty well. You could help but notice how much it all smelt like him, his cologne must have become part of the fabric.  
“We can both use mine. Just say you lost it. We‘ll be late” he grabbed your pajamas, tucking them under his pillow. You very well couldn’t leave them out in the open.  
“Okay” you walked out of the room together, this was far more convincing than you coming out in your pajamas. There was no way to hide that. 

“You hungry?” He asked as you passed the great hall.  
“Maybe just a fruit. Something we can have in class” you stepped in. The hall was only half full, students staggered at tables. Lingering until they absolutely had to leave, some even in their free periods. You’d tried desperately to get your first few hours off, but there was no way. Not with Slughorn pulling you into his little club, and no one said no to being in this group, not even you.  
“Ms. Y/l/n, Mr. Malfoy, you’re late. Sit. Sit” slughorn called to you ask you both walked in. An Apple each.  
“Sorry professor” you sighed as all eyes turned to you, you wondered if anyone could tell you were wearing all Draco’s clothes. 

You stood at a table, next Draco and across from two seventh year, slytherin students. Draco’s book was opened between the two of you. The two across the table watched you both as you whispered to one another. Helping each other with the potion at hand.  
“It says to cut it. But I think this would work better” you took a knife, crushing the berry into pieces then cutting it. Draco nodded, mimicking your actions. You were stirring instantly when you went to reach for a vile on the table. Your fingers meeting Draco’s there. You stopped and looked at him, a smile moved softly across your face. He returned it, taking the vile and handing it to you. You both were so lost in that moment you hadn’t noticed the eyes on you. Apparently slughorn had spoke to you and you hadn’t heard.  
“I’m sorry Professor what?” You asked, holding the vile in your hand.  
“I asked if you were already bottling your potion” he was watching you too, but differently than everyone else.  
“Oh yes sir” you nodded, the cool glass in your fingers.  
“Excellent! Let me see then” he walked over, taking a spoon into his hand. Taking a spoonful of the green liquid, smelling it only slightly as he drank it. What a brave man.  
You smiled as his skin turned a soft shade of green.  
“Wonderful! Just wonderful! 15 points to slytherin!” He smiled, walking away from you. You turned to Draco, who watched you intently. Something about you just made him watch. Always.


	8. Sweet mint

You were sitting by one another at lunch, Draco eating slowly. You watched him as he did, smiling as he smiled back at you. It was such a relief to see him eating without help. Because honestly, it was really starting to make your head hurt pushing hunger that way. You’d never tell him that, you knew he already felt like so much of a burden.  
“Y/l/n” Blaise Zabini spoke to you from across the slytherin table. You looked at him, something about this boy always made you a little irritated.  
“What?” You asked simply.  
“What was with your boggart yesterday?” He asked, many eyes turning to him at the table. Some were shocked he brought it up, and others just as curious.  
“That’s none of your business, Blaise” Draco spoke before you could. Blaise shied away then, all the slytherin guys took Draco more seriously than anyone else. So if he said to shut it, they did.  
“You really need to know Zabini?” you asked, glaring at him. “That was my ex. And he’s dead now. So thanks for asking.” you stood, not wanting to feel all the eyes on you. Draco reached for your hand again as you went to walk away.  
“Stay.” he spoke simply. “He can leave” Draco shot his eyes to Blaise. Whose eyebrows raised, the entire slytherin table was watching the exchange, even some people at the Ravenclaw table watched.  
“I’m not hungry” your hand was gentle in Draco’s grasp. As his eyes met yours again you found yourself lost in another moment with him.  
“I want you to stay” the words stuck to the air. You thought people were watching before, now it seemed the entire hall was part of this moment. Your free hand rose, touching his cheek. You both had seemed to completely forgotten every other person in the hall, an overwhelming sense of calmness filled you both, that same feeling you had felt in the potions room the other day.  
“I will see you later” you let go of his hand, walking away from the table.  
The whispers started then, the whole school watched as you and Draco nearly hung from one another. 

The rumors only got worse after what happened. You were walking the halls alone one evening while the rest of the school seemed to run around Hogsmeade. You took this as a chance to sneak into the library and find more books to snatch from the restricted section.  
The buzzing in the halls alerting you something was wrong, a girl had been curse coming back from Hogsmeade. Given a cursed necklace. Your heart sank as you remembered what you and Draco had found in the room just the week before. You were running then, crashing through the crowds of people. Where would he go? Where?  
You knocked hard on his dorm room door, with a long moment of no answer you let yourself in. The room was empty, you groaned as you closed the door hard behind you.  
You had run out of options, you found yourself leaning to your own door. He wasn’t even in the room of requirement when you checked it. You pushed through the door, catching sight of him suddenly sitting on your bed. His eyes red with tears.  
“Draco” you were shocked, he wore his usual black suit but it was disheveled and messy.  
“I did it… I told her not to touch it!” He was yelling.  
“Shhhh” you hushed him as you slammed the door behind you. “It’s okay”  
“No it’s not I almost killed her” he was shaking.  
“Come” you forced his head to your chest, rushing calm to him as hard as you could manage. Making your head spin. He sobbed only a new more times, his fear hit you like a train making tears roll down your face. “You silly stupid boy” you whispered as his arms wrapped around you. He couldn’t seem to stop crying.  
“I just wanted to Kill Dumbledor without having to really do it myself”  
“I know. I know. You’re okay calm down” your head was pounding hard, the sting of a long felt headache pierced your forehead. You couldn’t seem to get him to calm down, you pulled away from him, laying your hand on his cheek. Why wasn’t it working?  
“I need to turn myself in”  
“No. No” you were panicking now. He was slipping, his life at risk even with those words. You’d run out of ideas, you pushed your lips to his. Pushing the calm to him again. He was shocked at first, unmoving. Then he sighed, kissing you back hard. 

“I’m sorry I came here. I didn’t know where else to go”  
“It’s fine.” You were still holding him, and he held you. “I’m glad you did. You were here with me okay?” You pulled his eyes to you. “You didn’t go to Hogsmeade today. You were here with me if anyone asks”  
“No one will believe us” he was sad in his words.  
“Yes they will.” Nearly by command you heard the common room roll with people. “I have an idea, but you have to trust me”  
He nodded, watching you as you pulled away your robe.  
“Give me that” you pointed to his jacket, you threw it to the ground as he took it from his body. “That too” you pulled away your shirt as you gestured at his. His face was stuck on you, shirtless before him. He almost too eagerly pulled away his shirt. Throwing it to the ground himself, you heard the footsteps on the stairs coming close to your room. You moved fast, straddling Draco’s lap. Waving your wand over both of your arms as they law bare to hide your marks.  
“Kiss me” you commanded, he took no time in listening to your words. Pushing his lips to you again, this time was different. You didn’t push anything to him, he just kissed you so deeply it made your skin sing. His hands came up on instinct, his fingers on the skin of your back. Your fingers finding their own way to his hair. Just as the snog started your door opened wide, exposing half of the slytherin quidditch team standing and laughing there. You knew they would be coming back from Hogsmeade to talk about the upcoming game, seeing as one of your roommates was a beater.  
“Bloody hell!” Your roommate yelled, pulling the door shut suddenly. You knew they all saw you before she did. Which was exactly what you wanted.  
“It’s called knocking!” You yelled, winking at Draco. Who licked his lips.  
“Should have to knock for my own room!” One of your room mates called back. You pulled on your shirt fast, buttoning it just enough to cover your body. Draco just sat, watching you. Like he didn’t want to move. You tossed him his shirt, smiling at him. You had to admit as much as he did. That was nice.  
“Sorry August” you opened the door, your room mate crossing her arms as you did.  
“Maybe put a tie on the door next time. Or at least lock it”  
“Sorry I must have forgotten”  
“Malfoy?” She whispered. The teams were on you. It seemed most of them had forgotten about the grand hall incident. Or maybe they didn’t think much of it.  
“Uhh yup. Come on Draco let’s go” Draco walked behind you as you left the room holding his jacket. You heard as a few guys from the slytherin team made comments to Draco, tapping him in the shoulder.  
“Older chicks. Way to go Malfoy” one of the boys called. You couldn’t help but smile. You were barely a year older than him. You raised your eyebrow at Draco’s smile as you got to the common room.  
“Someone’s awful pleased with himself”  
“No im just….” He looked like he was trying to find the right words to say. “You even taste like sweet mint”


	9. Convincing

The plan seemed to work perfectly. People began their whispering just as you wanted them to.  
“I heard they caught them in the act… like how embarrassing” you heard someone speak as you walked by then in the hallway.  
“What does she have that I don’t?” You heard one of Draco’s little fan girls whine. You tried hard to bite your tongue, but it just rolled out.  
“Draco” you smiled, making her face fall even further. 

“I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this” he sighed a few days later at lunch. People seemed to not be letting that one go like they usually do.  
“It was my idea” you reminded him.  
“Thank you for that” he was whispering now, his head leaning closely to yours. These moments, when he couldn’t stop himself from being close to you added fuel to the flame, it was easy enough for people to assume you were lovers. Especially with the way he kept looking at you when you were watching. 

“Can I just…” he asked as you walked away frim the grand hall.  
“You need a night of sleep?” He always hated asking, and most times you could just tell he needed it so you would invite yourself. Which he greatly appreciated.  
“I was hoping I could just sleep in your room” was he blushing? You couldn’t help by raise your eyebrow at him “I mean if people think we’re together wouldn’t it just make sense?” He panicked, trying to think of any excuse he could.  
“Fine” you gave in, maybe a little too quickly. “And since were together” you mocked “we don’t have to wait until late. Are you planning on working tonight?” You needed to know if he planned on sneaking away in the night and if you should plan to go with.  
“Not tonight… I think I’m nearly done. And I really need a break” while you had been helping, he insisted this mission was his, so you’d sneak into the restricted section and snatch him books and give him ideas. While only really going in with him when he was reallt stuck on something.  
“Okay Draco” you smiled, standing just outside your classroom. “Tonight then”  
“Thank you” he whispered, pulling your body to his. 

Your stomach began to sink partially into class, an impending sense of doom lingered in your body. What was going on? You had to find him. Where was Draco?  
“Professor May I use the restroom?” You raised your hand nearly cutting him off.  
“Yes Ms. y/l/n you can go” you stood fast, leaving all your things behind. Where were you even going?  
You rounded a corner too fast and bumped into Professor Snape, who stood tall in his black robes. As he usually did.  
“Somethings…” you went to speak when the crashing started. You stood with Snape in an empty hallway for a long second. The noises ceased suddenly, making you both run toward them. You didn’t know why you were panicking so badly, what was even happening? you both burst through the door of the boys lavatory, you lingering just behind Snape. Who tried to stop you from seeing what was before you. He couldn’t stop it though, the anger in the room was unimaginable.  
Harry was standing over Draco, whose soft sobs and the burst water piped filled the room with terrible noise.  
“Draco” you pushed past Snape hard, Harry watched as you knelt down to Draco. Blood staining your clothes and the water around you. Snape did nothing as Harry left, he might as well have held the door open for him.  
You pulled Draco onto your lap, his heart race racing so hard you could feel it in his skin. His sobs filling your head.  
“Shhh Draco I have you” you whispered to him, pushing. Pushing. Snape was finally near you, watching you confused for a second as Draco stopped crying. Your own body giving you tears, the feeling of fire under your skin rolled like lava. “HELP HIM!” You screamed as your body became more coated with blood. You were crying so hard from the pain you had taken from him that the tears rolled from you and into his shirt, it felt the pain alone may kill you.. It was red now, the white shirt he wore. Snape knelt, waving his wand over Draco slowly. Chanting.  
The blood seeped slowly from the water, and back to Draco. You watched as every ounce that hadn’t penetrated your clothes and skin returned to him. 

“How did you know?” Snape asked, as Draco’s body healed before you.  
“I don’t know. I just felt him…” it was true, you felt the fear. The fear that he no doubt been instilled in him by Harry Potter.  
“Take him. I need to fix the bathroom before people notice” snape commanded. You all couldn’t have the world knowing Harry attacked Draco, because then they might ask why.  
“Draco please wake up for me okay?” You whispered, touching his skin softly. You couldn’t see it, but Snape watched you both so closely. Like he was examining you both. Draco’s eyes opened slowly, you sighed. Thank Merlin he was awake. “Come” you whispered to him again, pulling him to standing. He was weak, frail. He leaned heavily against your shoulder as you pulled him away. The water that still etched at your clothing soaking the floors of the hallways as you moved.  
You didn’t know what else to do, something didn’t feel right in bringing him to his room. Maybe because you couldn’t protect him there.  
“Here” you set him on a chair in your room. “I still have your sweater, and I’m sure I can find something for you to wear as bottoms. But you’re soaked” it didn’t even cross your mind you were just as wet, your robes heavy with now chilly water, the draft of the dungeons didn’t help in the slightest. “Can you?” You asked holding the folded sweater in your arms. He must have already stripped away the sweater he had been wearing earlier when you saw him, because he was left in his white button up and his pants. He reached up, desperately trying to work on the buttons of his shirt. His weak and wet fingers stammered over them with no luck.  
“It’s okay… mind if I..” you reached for him. He watched your hands, letting his fall. He nodded as your fingers touched him. You helped him as much as you could manage to strip the wet clothes away, you averted your eyes as he pulled away at his underwear. It wasn’t until you heard him sit in the bed that you turned back around he had on a pair of your biggest sweatpants which you used the spell he taught you to make for better, and his sweater. Which you had selfishly kept after he borrowed it to you, he never did ask for it back.  
“Sleep. I’ll be right here” you walked to him.  
“Please lay with me” he whispered, his body nearly hunched.  
“I have to change. Lay down and I’ll be in in a second” you moved quickly around the room, of course your usual pajama set was still in Draco’s room. You rolled your eyes at yourself for forgetting them. You just changed fast into whatever you could find. You were dressed in a large t shirt and shorts, setting away all your wet clothes. He was laying down, watching you when you looked at him again.  
“Does it hurt?” You asked, crawling into bed with him.  
“You took the pain” he whispered as you pulled him to your chest.  
“I mean now… do you hurt?” You asked again.  
He shook his head no from the spot on your chest.  
“I should kill him” you rested your hand in Draco’s hair, which was still damp.  
“You took it all” he spoke, seemingly continuing what he had started saying earlier.  
“I couldn’t see you like that…”  
“How did you know?”  
“I felt you… your fear… I don’t know how but I knew you were in danger”  
“And Snape?” He asked  
“I ran into him in the hallway outside of the bathroom. It was dumb luck really” 

You were whispering softly to one another when you roommates came in.  
“Y/n you just left all your stuff in class” one said as she came into the room. You had your curtains closed, but even through them could to tell it was Bella.  
“Sorry. Something happened” you were whispering. Draco had just started dozing off, but of course was woken by the sound of them coming in.  
“Are you coming to herbology?” Your other roommate Meghan asked.  
“Not today” you replied, Draco lay completely silent on you.  
“Now I know you’re sick. Because there’s no way you’d pass a chance to be near that lover boy of yours” Meghan laughed. You rolled your eyes, of course they’d start their nonsense now.  
“I’m going to sleep some. I will see you guys after class” you spoke curtly, hoping they’d get the hint. You luckily did, whispering to one another a few more times before leaving the room. It wasn’t unlike you to push them away, you kept to yourself as much as possible. 

They closed the door right behind them.  
“I’m still sorry about that. I’m sure thinking you’re with me ruined any chance you had to hook up with other people” his voice rang from your skin.  
“You think I didn’t think that through beforehand? I figured it would be this way”  
“So you’re okay with people thinking we’re dating then”  
“People think we’re sleeping together. Dating… well I’m not so sure”  
“Maybe that’s why Potter didn’t buy it” he laughed a little, winching at the aching feeling he still had.  
“I’m about 30 seconds from killing him myself. So maybe we don’t mention his name”  
“Sorry” he whispered.  
“Sleep some. I have you” you ran your fingers over his skin. “Do you need me to..”  
“No” he spoke, breaking your words. “It just a little early to sleep” he admitted. It really was only 4pm.  
“But you should sleep. I’m sure you’re tired”  
“I’m really just happy laying here with you” he admitted.  
“You’d think you were smitten with me Mr. Malfoy” you giggled softly. He didn’t speak, instead he just wrapped his arms closer around you. He couldn’t say anything because he really had no idea how he felt, aside from needing you so badly. 

He did finally fall asleep, your roommates had come back. Not speaking loudly just whispering, you guessed since Draco also wasn’t in class they knew he was with you.  
“Are they dating?” You heard Meghan ask.  
“Neither of them date… so I don’t think so.” The rest of their whispers were nearly inaudible. So you just ignored them, closing your eyes and hugging Draco close. Maybe they were right, Draco too. Harry didn’t buy that Draco didn’t do it because you hadn’t been convincing enough.


	10. We deserve a break

“Y/n are you coming to potions?” Meghan’s voice spoke as she pulled open the curtain on your bed. “Oh wow I’m sorry I didn’t…” you closed the curtain quickly. Draco was already awake, holding your head to his chest now.  
“I’ll be up in a little bit. We will meet you there” you sighed with your eyes still closed. 

“They’re definitely dating” Meghan whispered to Bella and August as they all walked out. 

“I should go get dressed” Draco spoke, as you sat up. Running your fingers through your hair.  
“I think we should pretend we’re together” you spoke as you both stood, straightening your pajamas.  
You tried hard not to think of the fact that you managed to end up on his chest. For some reason that felt so much more significant than him on yours.  
“Wait.. really?”  
“I mean. That way it won’t seem so odd you keep sleeping in here” you shrugged. “And we spend so much time together it just makes sense…”  
“I mean… yeah.. I’m sure you’re roommates are off telling people we’re together anyway”  
“As if most of them didn’t already think so… it’s just an idea. You can think about it if you need to” you shrugged. All and all pretending to be with one another made the most sense. With all the sneaking and the fact you spent all your time with one another when not in classes it really just made sense. People would have to believe you, and you guys sneaking around at night to fix the cabinet wouldn’t seem so suspicious, people would just assume you were off snogging.  
“What would that mean?” He stood near the door, lingering a little.  
“Pretending here together? I don’t know.. I think it depends on what you’re comfortable with” you shuffled through your case. Looking for your uniform.  
“I’m comfortable with pretty much anything” he shrugged.  
“So then I guess it’s settled… just treat me like you’d treat a girlfriend”  
“I’ve never really…”  
“Oh yeah… I guess you’re just used to hooking up and leaving..” you laughed lightly. “So you have no frame of reference at all?”  
“movies and stuff” he admitted.  
“Just do what feels right.. Just don’t fall in love with me” you winked.  
“Ok” he nodded. He had the door opened for a second, people walked by on their way to classes. Peaking in as you stood with your uniform in your hand. “I will see you in class?” He asked.  
“Yes, baby” you smiled at him, already putting on your show.  
“Eh Malfoy there you are” you heard Goyle chatter. Draco didn’t listen, he was over by you quickly, kissing you softly. It was one thing for your roommates to see you, it was another for his.  
“Don’t take too long love” he whispered as he pulled away, Crabbe and Goyle standing in your doorway watching, along with Pansy whose mouth hung open.  
You smiled at him as he walked out, why was your heart beating so hard?

You got dressed pretty quickly, smiling at Draco’s shirt that you folded. It was wrinkly from drying the way it did. So you figured you’d better return it, along with his dress pants. You pushed them into your bag along with your books.  
You stepped into the grand hall for only a moment to grab some coffee, everytime Draco slept in your room, you both managed to miss breakfast. As expected and all eyes were on you, word moved fast in hogwarts.  
You poured yourself some coffee in a cup with a lid, something you could carry with you. As you pulled the cup to your lips you felt arms wrapping around your waist.  
“Can I have some?” Draco asked, looking into your cup.  
“You like black coffee?” you smiled, lifting the cup to his lips.  
“I'm sure I could” he took a slow slip, the steam rolling from the liquid and hitting his nose. “Maybe it could use a little sugar,” he wrinkled his nose.  
“Here” you said in response, kissing him quickly. He jumped a little, apparently he wasn’t ready for you to be as convincing as you were. You had to admit, playing pretend with him was going to be really fun. 

You two must have been convincing enough, because by lunch everyone was talking about Draco Malfoy’s first girlfriend, the slytherin princess.  
“How was divinations?” he asked as you sat by one another at lunch.  
“Impending dooooom” you mocked Professor Trelawney’s prediction.  
“Always doom and gloom with that woman” he scoffed, pressing his lips to your hair.  
“Thats my life” you smiled leaning into him “doom and gloom”  
“So you two are dating” Theodore Nott spoke finally, watching the two of you.  
“Yes, Nott” Draco sighed.  
“Could have sworn she was just another notch in the belt after we caught you two in her dorm. So forgive me if I am surprised you’re actually dating” he rolled his eyes at Draco's attitude.  
“For how long…” Pansy asked suddenly, her arms crossed.  
“Uhhhh…” you looked at Draco, who raised an eyebrow at you.  
“Since this summer” he answered, looking away from you and back to Pansy.  
“That explains a lot” Goyle laughed suddenly.  
“Well why were you keeping it a secret then?’’ Pansy asked again.  
“Because some of us like to keep stuff to ourselves, Parkinson” you snapped at her, something about her always managed to rub you the wrong way. She whispered something to herself, her voice low. “What?” you asked, your skin peaking hot.  
“How are my sloppy seconds?” she asked louder, the whole table's mouth dropped. You couldn’t help but smile suddenly, a low rubbeling laughter escaping your lips. Before you could speak you heard Draco snapback.  
“It must be hard not comparing in the slightest” he said, “it must just kill you knowing no matter how often you begged, we only slept together once, and I was so wasted I barely remember” you looked at him in surprise.  
“Wow Parkinson, taking advantage of people when they’re drunk?” you purse your lips at her. “That is pathetic.” you lifted your eyebrows. The hall had fallen silent sometime during the argument, “Some of us don’t have to beg”  
Pansy fell really silent after, even leaving the table a few minutes later.  
It for some reason came so naturally to you two, the pretending. He would peck your lips as he left you outside of your classroom, you would brush away strands of his hair threatened to fall into his face.  
“Come with me to the room tonight?” he whispered to you at dinner, leaning close to your ear. You nodded biting your lip at him, he watched your mouth intently.  
“You two are gross” Goyle spoke from the across the table, Pansy was nowhere to be seen.  
“Aww are you lonely Gregory” you stuck your tongue out at him.  
“No just queasy” he mocked back pretending to gag at you.  
“I can find you a girlfriend if you’d like?” you gave him a look.  
“Wait…” he stopped “Can you really?”  
“I can definitely try” you smiled at him. He wasn’t ugly by any means, not your type. But you’re sure you could find someone for him.  
“I like her” Goyle nodded at Draco. Who nodded back.  
“Me too”  
-  
“Come here” he could speak to you in the hallways, wrapping his arms around your shoulder.  
“Silly boy” you could giggle when he did something so terribly Malfoy.  
You’d spend meals touching his arms, he would rest his hand on the back of your neck.  
You had been pretending for a week, it had become a routine. He would stay in your room or you in his. People had gotten so used to seeing you two together soon everyone just seemed to forget about it. You sometimes found yourself forgetting this was all pretend, you’d lean into him even when you were alone. And he wouldn’t stop you.  
One night in the room of requirement he even leaned in and kissed you with no one around.  
“Sorry” he said as he pulled away “I get carried away”  
“We’re just so good at acting sometimes we forget that's what we’re doing” you smiled at him. You wanted to admit to him that truth, that you wonder sometimes if you were even pretending anymore, did you want this to be pretend?

“Please explain this paper to me” Draco sighed at the table in the common room. His potions paper in front of him.  
“We’re just talking about our favorite potion” you laughed, you were nearly done with your paper already. Writing intently about Skele-gro.  
“Would it be annoying if I wrote about Amortentia?” he laughed a little looking down at his paper.  
“No, actually I think Slughorn might like to see a guy write about it for once. If it really your favorite?” you laughed  
“I just like the smell. Sometimes I wish I could bottle it up and just smell it. It’s so soothing”  
“What did you say you smelt again?”  
“Spring rain” he felt himself trying not to blush, what was the best way to say he smelt you without saying it.  
“Ahh yes, I love spring. It’s my favorite season. I used to collect rainwater for my plants at home” you smiled as you dipped your quill again, finishing up your paper. “Have you ever just sat in a warm spring rain” you looked up at him, meeting his eyes as he was already staring at you.  
“I don’t think I have” his face didn’t change. It lay flat on him.  
“Maybe this spring we can” you read over the final portion of your essay again. “Once this snow is finally gone I can show you my favorite place by the lake. Where the moon meets the water”

“Maybe after this is all over you can take me to that place in America you’re always talking about” he smiled from his spot on the couch. His Defence against the dark arts book in his hand.  
“You’d really come to Salem with me?” You smiled at him, your charms book laying on your legs.  
“I think it sounds interesting. I have never been to America before”  
“My mother is descended from the witches there. I think that’s why I ended up with this power.”  
“And I’m stuck here being an English pureblood” he laughed loudly.  
“Stuck?” You laughed “you’re so beautiful BECAUSE you’re English pureblood.” You laughed as you glanced back down to your charms book. “That’s a way better power if you ask me”  
“You act like you’re not just as beautiful. More so even” he laughed too.  
“Me? More stunning than a Malfoy? You’re mad”  
You didn’t speak again, he just let you laugh away his feeble attempts. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing. 

“Let’s go to Hogsmeade” you insisted one Saturday. “We deserve a break”  
He sighed, nodding. It had been a while since you two had left the castle. Especially to go to Hogsmeade. It seemed he was scared to go.  
You found yourselves little in a smal booth at The Three Broomsticks, talking about life and how things might go after the the dark lord won.  
“You need to do your mission first” you reminded him, making his face grow long.  
“I know… I’ve been trying to make a plan”  
“The poison clearly didn’t work” you had both come up with that one together. Apparently it had nearly killed the Weasley boy. Which annoyed you more than a thing. Of course Slughorn would mess it all up.  
“I think I just have to do it myself…” he hated to admit it, the mission still some nights kept him awake. Though now it was easier since you spent even night with one another. Even if he couldn’t sleep, at least he wasn’t alone.  
“Malfoy” you heard a small voice ask for him, pulling your close gaze from one another. Astoria was standing on the other side of the table. “Can I talk to you?” She asked. Looking at the two of you. “Alone?” You looked at Draco, who nodded.  
You left them alone, watching her slide into the booth with him. You felt a twinge of something... what is this feeling?


	11. According to this... I’m 19

“You know what they’re talking about right?” Theodore Nott was standing beside you, startling you. You just nodded, it had to be about their families, and how they wanted to marry them.  
“I do” was all you could say, thinking about it made you feel sick for some reason.  
“Her parents sent her a letter… she won’t tell me what it said but she said she had to talk to him so I can only assume”  
“That it’s been decided” you felt your face turning a little pale.  
“I won’t let her do it” he said suddenly, seeing your face. “I will take her and run away before any of that happens”  
You shot your eyes to him, he was a tall guy. Lean shoulders and dirty blonde hair. Stunning in his own right.  
“You love her” you couldn’t help but nod, it was obvious by how he watched her that he was absolutely captivated by her.  
“Just as he loves you” He caught your eyes watching him.  
“You think…” you had to admit some nights you wondered when he would sleep, the feeling of his heart filling even section of you. The pain rolled away at times to the feeling of wanting. You ignored it as much as possible. Scared it was really just your heart turning for him. “It’s not up to us…” you spoke, as sternly as you could manage.  
“It is. The only reason they’re thinking about marrying them is because of the pure blood thing… I’m just as pure blooded so I don’t understand why they won’t just choose me”  
“Money?” You looked at him again. His face just as washed white as yours.  
“I know I don’t have his money… but I love her. And that should be enough… shouldn’t it?”  
“My parents chose someone for me once” you wanted to give him some ease of mind, though you weren’t sure if this fact would help. “And I thought I loved him…”  
“That’s whose you saw that day… in Defence” he stated.  
“Yeah.”  
“That’s the day I knew he loved you. You should have seen the look on his face when it hit you. I have seen Draco mad, but this was…. frightening. You love him too”  
“I-“  
“I see it… when I was walking over here to talk to you I watched how you looked at them. Because I feel the same way”  
“Love makes you weak” you spoke, but who were you really trying to convince?  
“You knew as well as I do it doesn’t” you could feel he was watching you, but you couldn’t pull your eyes from them. SHe touched his arm, and they spoke like old friends. Close and softly, it nearly made your body shake. You only looked away when Draco’s face came up, catching your eyes. You turned completely, facing the bar you leaned on.  
“Fire whiskey please” you ordered.  
“ID?” The bartender asked. You pulled out a small piece of paper, fake of course, but convincing. The bartender nodded, making you your drink.  
“You’re 18?” Theodore asked.  
“According to this” you slid him your ID “I’m 19”  
The bartender set your drink in front of you.  
“Keep them coming” you spoke, setting a small wad of money on the counter. You took your drink down in a single shot, sending the hot feeling rolling through your body. Now this is liquid luck, or liquid courage maybe. Theodore laughed as you knocked back 3 shots with ease.  
“You’re kind of bad ass. No wonder he’s so obsessed with you”  
You had so much you needed to say, but you couldn’t. Instead you let another shot roll through your lips. The heat rolled from your stomach and over your body around shot 7.  
“Hey maybe you should slow down” Theordore spoke, setting his hand on the final shot you had before you.  
“It’s fake…” you let slide from your mouth. “We’re not really dating. But I’m so in love with him it makes me sick”  
“Why are you pretending to be together then?” You were thankful for his whispering tone.  
“Because we have to… to stay safe… because he..” theordore brought his hand to your mouth suddenly.  
“Hey” he spoke softly “it’s okay. I won’t say anything. Just…. figured it out…” he released his hand from your face “because clearly you’re nuts for each other.”  
Your head shot back from the buzz it was riding. Had you almost told Theodore Nott way too much? Merlins beard. You turned around again, seeing Draco and Astoria close again, watching her and she leaned in and kissed his cheek.  
“I have to go” you said, leaving behind any money you didn’t spend on the counter. You heard a voice calling to you as you burst out of the door. The cold air of winter smacking your skin, it felt so nice. You had left your jacket behind, hanging by your booth beside Draco and Astoria. What was going on? Why was your head spinning so hard? You had been drunk before but this felt so different, like it hurt. You imagined them by one another, you saw them how they might be. Married and holding onto one another, it made you angry. A kind of anger you never really felt before. You were rushing through the snow, the cold starting to feel like it was taring at your skin.  
“Y/l/n?” You heard someone before you saw them, crashing into them in the snow, your knees meeting the ground. “Woah are you okay” you heard him as he spoke, his hands coming down to help you up.  
“Sorry Longbottom… I’m just”  
“Piss drunk” he scoffed. “At noon on a Saturday?”  
“Hey don’t judge me” you were standing, wrapping your arms around your shoulder.  
“I don’t judge. Come over here” he pulled you into a near by shop. “Do you need to talk about it?”  
“Can you please bring me back to the castle?” You worried if you took off again in your own you may not make it.  
“Yeah of course here” he pulled his jacket form his shoulders. Wrapping it softly around your body. “You look cold” you pulled the fabric over your skin. It smelt of fire and dirty, woodsy. As you’d expect from someone who loved herbology so much.  
“Won’t you freeze?” Your words were slurred.  
“I run hot. I’ll be okay” he rested his hand on your shoulders, leading you from the shop back out into the cold air. 

“So you’re in love with Malfoy… but you’re scared to tell him because love makes you weak” he spoke back the words you told him. Sitting in an empty corridor of the castle.  
“People who love me die” your buzz had turned into nothing but drunken confessions, unable to stop your words.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Because I have to kill them. Because I am evil”  
“I am going to stop you there… before you say something I really don’t think you want me to hear.” He was so close you could smell the sweet lingering smell of tea on his skin.  
“If I had been luckier I think I could have fallen for someone like you Longbottom” his face was shocked suddenly at your confession.  
“Y/l/n…I-“ his words seemed to move in slow motion. You watched his mouth and it moved, if Draco could be with someone else someday… why couldn’t you?  
Before you knew it you had pressed you lips to Neville’s, he even tasted like sweet tea. He pulled away after a moment, shock making him freeze. “Stop it” he said, leaning away from you.  
“Sorry I just…” you felt embarassed.  
“You’re drunk. It’s fine. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t” it seemed a lot of people were keeping your secrets lately.  
“Thank you for understanding” you sighed as you stood. “Here” you handed Neville back his jacket. “You’re good people Longbottom… a lot of guys would have taken advantage of that” which you knew was the absolute truth.  
“Well I’m not like that.. need me to walk you back to your dorm?” He asked  
“We both know that’s a terrible idea. I promise I’ll make it” he took his jacket from your hands. “Can’t have a blood trader too close to Slytherin dorms now can we?”  
He scoffed at your words again, his head shaking at you.  
“If it means anything y/n… I don’t think you’re evil”  
“Well, that makes one of us” 

You walked back to the dorms with ease, your head still spinning but less. More so pounding now. The cold had seemed to take the edge off your drunkenness.  
Your head hit your pillow hard, it had barely hit 2pm and you were passed out. Still dressed and your shoes still on.  
You woke up hours later into the night, Meghan, Bella and August all sleeping in their own beds. Had Draco not come to your room?  
You stood, your head spinning still bit manageable. Way more hungover than drunk, you settled yourself before standing. Maybe he was in the room of requirement.  
He wasn’t, at least not that you could see. So you pulled your journal from your side, reading over notes you had made for yourself.  
“What are you doing here?” You heard his voice asking.  
“Working on the cabinet. Like we planned. Where have you been?” You didn’t look at him, you just waved over your wand.  
“You shouldn’t be in here” he sounded mad. You turned to him, he looked like his body may combust.  
“You said to meet you in here earlier today.” Why was he so angry.  
“Leave” he pointed for the door.  
“Draco… I don’t understand”  
“I saw you” he spoke, his skin red with fury.  
“Saw w-“ you knew what he meant instantly.  
“WITH LONGBOTTOM! I SAW YOU TWO!” You couldn’t help the shaking that took you too.  
“Draco it’s not what it looked like…”  
“THEN WHAT WAS IT?!” He was screaming. His voice filling the room.  
“DONT YELL AT ME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS!” You yelled back, then whispered “you have no idea how it feels pretending to be with someone like you”  
“What do you even mean? This was your idea”  
“Yeah, and I get to sit around and watch you hang off your fiancé like that in The Three Broomsticks. You realize how people were watching you? They all know what you are… they all know I’m just a place holder for her”  
“You know it’s not like that” he was soft now, watching you.  
“Do I? Because last time I checked you’re the one who gets to go after the war, get married and make babies and just live. I’ll probably end up stuck with some old man my parents randomly pick. That’s if I don’t let myself die at this battle” the last part of the sentence was no more than a whisper. “Yes I kissed Neville.. I was so drunk… I was just lucky it wasn’t someone like Blaise”  
“Theodore mentioned you had knocked back more drinks than he’d seen anyone do in a sitting”  
“Neville just… he brought me back here so I wouldn’t freeze to death. I think I just convinced myself that maybe someone wouldn’t have to pretend to like me”  
“Y/n I..” before he could speak you walked passed him.  
“I’m sorry… I understand if you don’t want to do this anymore”  
You were gone before he could speak, but instead of going back to your dorm you let yourself wander the castle.  
You woke up in the astronomy tower at dawn, the sun peaking over the snowy hills in the horizon. You shivered only a little, the cold had seeped so far into your bones it felt at home there.  
You stood, wrapping your arms around your body. You walked back to your dorm. The sound of the crackling fire in the common room being the only thing breaking the silence, it must have been still to early for people to be awake.  
You opened your door softly, hoping not to wake anyone. You pushed off your shoes by the door. You pulled off your freezing clothes, touching the soft sweater Draco had left in your room. Might as well enjoy it while it’s still there. So you pulled it over your body, it hung so perfectly from your skin you already mourned for it. For the feeling it gave you.  
You pulled open the curtain of your bed, which had been closed. It’s when you saw him, his blonde hair resting on your pillowcase. How long had he been here?  
Maybe you were still dreaming.  
You crawled into bed, letting your cold skin touch his. He was warm, definitely not a dream.  
“Where were you?” He whispered, awakened by the feeling of your ice cold skin.  
“Astronomy tower… I just needed to be alone”  
“You’re freezing”  
“Sorry”  
“Come here” he pulled you to him. The smell of his sweet cologne filled your senses.  
“I’m sorry I kissed Neville”  
He pressed his head into your hair “I’m sorry I let you walk away from me”


	12. A long time ago

The pretending changed after that night, your short kisses when only around others became longer, and sometimes when you were all alone.   
The nights became needier, his arms tighter on you and lips nearly begging for the skin of each other’s necks. For how brave you both were, it seemed that you two were both too scared to make that first move.  
“So you’re not marrying Astoria?” You said almost too cheerfully the next morning.   
“No, her parents decided against it. Apparently my father being out in Azkaban is a bad look”   
“I’m sorry” you let your hand rest on his.   
“I’m not…” 

It was finally December, the winter weather seemed unwavering in her pursuit to control the world. You had all been castle bound since that final trip to Hogsmeade, people seemed to be going mad. Except you two, who had been nearly trapped in these walls for years.

“I have to be honest with you…” he said as he played with his jacket cuffs “I have always told you everything” he continued as he sat on your bed the morning before Christmas break,   
“About what?” you asked packing away the last of your things for the break.   
“I don’t want to keep pretending anymore” his words made your stomach turn a little.   
“That’s okay. We can go back to just saying we're friends. We will have to come up with a convincing breakup story though” you had to admit to yourself you were a little hurt. He had managed to convince you he was as into this as you were. The way you’d gotten around one another had become so natural it seemed so genuine.   
“No.” he said softly. “I don’t want to pretend anymore because….” he stopped talking for a moment.   
“Because you like someone else?” you jumped to the first conclusion you could think of.   
“Would you let me talk for one second?” he sighed, shocking you a little “If I don’t say this now I might never”  
“Okay” you sat next to him on the bed.   
“I just don’t want to pretend” He confessed, refusing to look at you as you watched him.   
“What do you mean Draco?”   
“I mean I want to be with you” he stared hard at the floor. “For real”   
“Draco I-“   
“Sorry I said anything” he stood suddenly, going to leave.   
“Now who's not letting someone talk?” Your voice stopping him in his tracks. “Come” you called for him.   
He turned his face dead set to the floor walking to you. He retook his seat beside you, nervousness rolling over him entirely. Why did he have to go and mess it up? He wondered.   
“I don’t know about you…” you started “but I stopped pretending a long time ago”


	13. What was that?

“Really?” he asked, looking over to you.  
“Can’t you tell?”   
“I thought maybe it was just me” he admitted   
“Draco” you spoke his name in no more than a whisper “kiss me”   
He smiled, leaning into you and pressing his lips to yours. As he did you let your hand come to his hair, tangling then into the nape of his neck. His hands came up slowly, no doubt testing the waters. You Used your weight to push him back, so he was laying on the blanket. Your kiss unbroken and lustful. You rounded your leg so you were sitting in either side of his hips, your hand pressed into the mattress using it for balance. His hands finally found some braver and wandered up your legs, fingers just below the hem of your skirt. You let your mouth wander, kissing softly at the skin of his neck. Needy.   
His breath hitched as you bit gently at the skin just below his ear, your gentle nibbles turned to your sucking hard on his skin. Feverish.   
His hands just started wandering under your skirt when you heard a knock at the door. You sighed into the skin of his neck. You sat quietly for a second, hoping maybe who ever it was would just leave. But the didn’t, instead the knocking got louder.   
“Keep that thought” you sighed again, lifting your body from his. “Might want to cover up” you smirked, catching sight of something. He grabbed your pillow quickly, sitting up and pulling it onto his lap.   
“Yes?” You asked as you opened the door. Snape stood on the other side.   
“Ms. Y/L/N. Have you seen Mr. Malfoy?” Snape asked, looking as annoyed as he always did.   
“He’s a little… preoccupied. Can I help you with something maybe?” You leaned on the door frame.   
“Its about something serious” he rolled his eyes. You shot your eyes back to Draco, who just nodded.   
You opened the door and allowed for Snape to walk in. You pushed it closed, latching the lock and casting a silver spell on the door. You could only imagine what this was all about.   
“Yes Professor?” Draco asked.   
“There will be a meeting at the manor tomorrow when you return there.” He glanced to you as you made your way around the room. “He is not pleased”   
“What about this time?” You sighed, leaning on one of the bedposts.   
“The cabinet” he glared at you “he wants it done quickly. And you’re here dallying your mentor” he glared at Draco.   
“I can’t really go there during the day” Draco kind of snapped, standing now.   
“Than you should be in the library.”   
“We can’t do that either Severus” you relaxed your arms, standing back straight. “All the books we need are in the restricted section”   
He sighed again “right… well you’d better hope He cares about the obstacles and isn’t too worried about your…” he looked at Draco’s neck which was ornate now with deep purple bruises. “ Extra curriculars”   
“We can manage” you had always felt something off about Snape, he seemed seriously invested in Draco and what Draco was doing. More so than any other death eater you had seen.   
“Don’t be foolish you two” he warned “you know what happens if he sense weakness”   
“I know as well as any” you spoke through gritted teeth, your mission was no secret to the older of the death eaters. Infact most of them had watched it happen, so for him to warn you like you were some kind of child infuriated you.   
“Well than Ms. Y/l/n, you should know exactly what happens when you don’t comply”   
His words made you still, even your heart felt investing for a moment. He walked by you now, heading for the door “we can’t have Mr. Malfoy being another one of your missions”   
You closed your eyes as he walked away, your fingers digging into the skin of you palm. As he undid the enchantments you could eat every single noise in the room. The fury from your body rolling into the air, joined only by a deep rooted sadness. You were so lost in the feeling you hadn’t heard Draco stand, his arms were wrapped around you pulling your head to his chest.   
“What a prat” he whispered, breaking all the tension with his words. Making you laugh finally, your arms returning his embrace.   
“Let’s go to dinner” you pulled away from him, his hand lingering in your arm. He didn’t move, he stood in his place. “You coming?”   
His eyes lingered on your body, catching your eyes as you stood nearly out of his reach. “Come on you silly thing.” You tugged him, his feet finally moving along with your attempts.   
You sat close to one another at the table, alone at first. His friends you guessed lingering behind since it was the last feast of the term and it ran late anyway. You barely noticed when Blaise wandered into the hall, with Pansy, Theodore Nott and Astoria and in tow. Astorias hands were wrapped right around Theodores arm, finally allowed to show their relationship to the world. You guessed her parents had picked him after all.   
“Oi! Nice bruise bruv!” Blaise laughed as he sat at the table. Theodore and Astoria sitting next to him. You made eye contact with Theodore who raised his eyebrows at you, you nodded only slightly making him smile.   
“Someone looks happy” you smiled at Astoria, who gleefully make herself a cup of tea.   
“Our parents have decided” Theodore just confirmed what gig had expected.   
“I couldn’t be happier.” Astoria beamed “no offense Malfoy” she smiled at Draco.   
“I’m perfectly fine“ he also beamed. It seemed like the sun in his body had finally been lit. Letting a glow seep from his skin.   
Goyle and Crabbe walked in, Goyle with his arm wrapped around a slytherin girl you had set him up with, you knew they would hit it off. And boy did they ever.   
You wondered if maybe Crabbe wanted someone, until you had heard whispers he was talking to a one of the girls from Beauxbatons he had met 4th year. The only person who it seemed didn’t have anyone was Blaise… and Pansy of course. You couldn’t help but wonder for a second if they’d end up together. Seeing as that’s what seemed to be what was left.   
You were all laughing, the boys teasing Draco about his bruise when Pansy walked over. Her hand wrapped across her holding her arm.   
“Can I sit with you guys?” She asked, not looking at anyone but you. Apparently they all had the same thought she did, looking at you for an answer had you become Queen Bee?  
“Sit down Parkinson” you gestured for the seat beside you, having Draco scoot a little.   
“What does everyone have planned for Christmas?” Theodore asked, you were thankful he did. Because a silence had come over the table.   
“I’m going to France,” Crabbe smiled. Guess the rumors were true.   
“My family is taking a holiday to Ibiza” Pansy’s voice was small, you reassured her with a smile.   
“Maybe I’ll see you there” Blaise grinned at her, you smiled as you watched her grin at him.   
“Well we're going to Greece” Astoria grinned a high cheeky smile, leaning her head on Theodores shoulder.   
“What about you y/n?” Theodore asked, only after kissing Astoria softly on her forehead.   
“Oh…” you looked at your plate “my family doesn’t really celebrate the holiday. So maybe I’ll wander around London like I normally do” you honestly couldn’t remember the last time you hadn’t spent Christmas alone. It had become its own tradition.   
“Come to mine for supper then” Draco grinned down at you, his stone gray eyes which still rang so deeply sad seemed happier at their edges. You were shocked, but why? It was one thing for the two of you to be together here at Hogwarts, but being together there? Where it was potentially dangerous was a whole different thing.  
“Can we talk about this later?” His smile dipped into a flat expression, trying hard to hide something… hurt maybe?  
“Yeah” he nodded, looking back down to his plate, which as usual was mostly empty. You raised your eyebrow at him as he pushed a little pudding around his plate. It was the last meal before the holiday so the food was lusher than usual and hung high over your seated heads. He gave you a look and pulled the spoon to his mouth, eating finally. He at times would eat, but only when you were watching. Sometimes you’d sneak him food from the kitchen and surprise him while studying or sitting in the room of requirement.   
“You’re already much too skinny” You’d tease him, the food sometimes feeling like a brick in his stomach.   
“Why don’t you eat something other than sweets” you whispered to him as he finished off the pudding on his plate.   
“Everything else makes me feel sick” you were close together, your words were your own. Your lingering closeness was nothing new, but the atmosphere around you was different and nearly everyone at the table could feel it.   
“Here” you spoke softly, wrapping your fingers around his. His cool skin touching the hot flush of your hand. You pushed to him, over time and practice and many suppers you had managed to rein in this feeling of hunger. At times when you weren;t with him you’d practice, pushing it without contact to the closest student. So that maybe if something were to go wrong, and he couldn’t be right next to you. You could give him the hunger he needed to stay alive.   
“Thank you baby” he hummed, his gentle praise gracing your ears. He ate feverishly, like he had been starving. Which he was.   
You felt the illness he carried flow into you as it always did, the nervousness and anxiety he always seemed to carry with him filling your very bones. The only time he felt anything close to peace were these moments. When you’d loan him your very soul.   
He finished up his 3rd plateful on his own, his body taking over. He hadn’t even noticed you weren’t pushing anymore until he saw you were eating beside him. As you sipped lightly at the butterbeer at the table his eyes pulled you to him, his hand rose and wiped a bit of butterbeer foam from your lip. In his touch here you were rushed with a feeling, like somehow he was pushing to you. Or maybe you were pushing without noticing it, either way the hum or perfect rolled around you both. The world around you fizzling out into a blur. He leaned in then, kissing your lips softly, he tasted of chocolate pudding and butterbeer. Your heart was racing hard, lust taking over every inch of you.   
Your snog only broke but Draco pulled his face away from yours, his eyes glancing across the table to Pansy who had moved without you noticing and was aggressively snogging Blaise. Your eyes skimmed the table, every couple clung to one another nearly all the way down the table. The slytherin table was riddled with couples who snogged one another, some pulled it seemed entirely out of conversation. As the lustful feeling you felt melted away the table seemed to return back to normal. Some people were surprised and others just wiped their faces. Some secrets had been exposed at that table just now, including two Slytherin boys who pulled back away from one another.   
“What was that?” Draco whispered.   
“I- I don’t know” You had never been able to effect more than one person at a time. What on earth was going on?


	14. ...Soundproofing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight smut

“You’re telling me you’ve never had that happen before?” Draco whispered as you lay together that evening, your roommates off somewhere else probably saying goodbye to whichever boy they were seeing or even at the party in the common room drinking.   
“No..” you looked up to the ceiling from your place on his chest. “I have never been able to effect more than a single person at a time”   
“I told you maybe you are stronger than you think” he sounded a little joyful at the words, you wondered if maybe you should be excited too but you weren’t.   
“How long do you wager your roommates will be gone?” he spoke after letting the tension in the room melt a little, the sound of the crackling fire gracing the air.   
“Most of the night I reckon, Bella is seeing some Hufflepuff boy and Meghan is an awful drunk, she’ll probably end up sleeping in the common room again. And August she’s well… I am not sure where she keeps sneaking off to, but she hasn’t slept in here in a week” You rolled your eyes, your roommates and yourself had never been close but you still sometimes worried about their whereabouts. Meghan more so than August and Bella of course.   
“So we have this room to ourselves…” he seemed to be speaking more so to the air than to you, the words not a question but a statement.   
“Yes, I believe so” you shrugged.   
“Do you remember that first morning after you helped me sleep?” he asked  
“Of course” your memory is unwavering.  
“You mentioned something about hungers” you could feel his heart start beating faster in his chest.   
You felt yourself laugh a little at his words “I figured you’d remember that”  
“Can you show me now?” You let your eyes look to him, he was already watching you. You grinned, using your arm to prop you up.   
“I could… or maybe” you brought your face to his “I could do it without my powers?”  
Your answer was given in the form of a kiss, along with wandering hands. His fingers seemed nervous like they somehow couldn’t believe still that this was all real.  
“Do you want me, Draco Malfoy?” you whispered as you pulled from his needy kiss.   
“Yes” he spoke, the word breathy on his tongue.   
You rolled so your legs were on either side of him, your hair hanging around the both of you in a gentle vail. He seemed entirely intraced, unmoving from his place in the mattress. You sat up, rolling your body on him causing him to moan lightly at the feeling. You tucked your fingers into the seam of your top, pulling it up and over your head. His eyes sat like hot pokers on your skin, but he didn’t move. You let your hands fall to his shirt, the buttons undoing with ease. You could see in the shaky rising and falling of his chest just how hard his heart was beating. His shirt gave you on issue, leaving him shirtless and perfect before you.   
“Touch me” you whispered to him, you rolled on him again as his hands came up, lightly stroking his fingers on your sides. The feeling making your skin erupt in goosebumps. “Your hands are always so cold” you were still whispering.   
“Sorry” he stopped, pulling them away from you.   
“Did I say I didn’t like it?” you asked, pulling his hands back to you. His breathing hitched as you ground into his again, harder this time. You took your hands, running your finger tips over his hands and then over your own skin locking them under your bra. With great ease it pulled up and over your head, taking its place on the floor alongside your other clothes. His eyes were dead set on you, you smiled as they caught your eyes again. His hands seemed stagnant on your skin, keeping their place on your sides. “Are you sure you want this?” you asked, suddenly worried about his unmoving hands. “I need to hear you say it”  
“I need you” he shuddered as you let your fingers lightly stroke his chest.   
“Then show me” as the words left your body he sat up suddenly, his mouth making contact with your chest instantly. You felt your eyes roll into the back of your head and his lips kissed your breasts, he worked so perfectly with his tongue it made a moan seep from your body.   
“Fuuuuuck” you groaned as he nipped at your skin. You felt your body starting to melt, that was all the confirmation you would ever need. You set your hands on his shoulders, pushing him away from your skin and back onto the mattress a gasp leaving him as you did. You leaned down to him, biting at the skin of his neck causing him to gasp again, this time rolling into a feverish moan. He was shocked when you pulled off of him, grasping for the hems of your skirt.   
“Take those off” you gestured to his pants. He did as commanded, pulling away at his dark dress pants, leaving him in his underwear on the bed. He watched your skirt as it fell to the ground, his eyes sliding back up your body as you stood, they finally caught as your hands slid into the waistband of your panties snapping to your face again. You slid them down slowly, until they fell on their own. You stepped away from them, moving back onto the bed.   
“Give me your wand” which lay on the nightstand beside the bed, yours was somewhere in the scattered pieces of cloth on the floor. He reached over, reluctantly looking away from you to clutch it in his hand. He paused for a moment before handing it to you. You casted a quick spell, the clicking noise of the door locking filled the room, and then another.   
“What was that one?” he asked, his voice seemed gravily.   
“A silencing charm, just….soundproofing” You leaned over him, setting his wand gingerly back on its place on the nightstand. As you came back his hands caught your face, pulling it to his. His kiss was passionate and lingering, it begged for you as the rest of him did.   
“You left these for me to deal with I see” you broke your kiss with these words, your hand on the fabric of his underwear. He didn’t answer, instead he just watched your hand as it pushed down into the waistband. You thought his heart had stopped for a moment when your hand met him, his eyes closed and a near growl left him as you rubbed your palm on him. You leaned down, kissing his neck softly. “How am I supposed to fuck you with these on?” His eyes shot open then, completely awestruck by your words. He was fast then, rushing as he pushed them away. You smirked as he did “that's what i thought”   
Just as you let your hand wrap around him to guide him in, you heard a knocking at the door.   
“Merlins beard” you growled, “you know what. No” you looked up at him. “Give me one second” he sighed as you let him go, you stood and grabbed his robe draping it over your body. He pulled the blanket onto himself.   
“What?” you sounded angrily as you opened the door, Pansy stood a little drunk in her shoes next to Blaise who looked just as knackered.  
“IAre you busyyyyy?” she hiccuped.   
“Yes” you hissed “what do you want?”   
She let out a long sigh “Well Snape is looking for you”   
“Pansy” you reached out your hand and gripped her cheeks. “You go back to Snape, and repeat exactly what I am going to tell you okay?”  
She blushed a little as you held her face, nodding at your words.   
“You tell him, we will see him tomorrow. And if he could quit being a cock block, I would appreciate it” Her eyes went wide with your words, suddenly very embarrassed. Blaise snorted with laughter, reaching for Pansy and pulling her to him. Clearly the kiss at dinner had sparked something between them, because they clung to each other as they walked away. You nearly slammed the door shut, leaning there for a quick second.   
“Baby?” Draco asked from the bed, seeing you as your seethed.   
“If one more person knocks on this door, I am going to explode” as you said it happened again, knocking on the wood.   
“WHAT!?” you screamed as you flung open the door. In front of you stood Professor Snape, his arms crossed. He had to have been waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Pansy and Blaise to return.   
“Y/L/N” he said simply.   
“What do you WANT Severus?!” You tried hard to level your voice, he was your teacher after all.   
“I need to have a word with you” he rolled his eyes at your attitude.   
“Well I am busy, can this not wait?” you leaned your arm on the doorframe.   
“Your parents are missing”


	15. Anywhere near sober

“What do you mean missing?” your heart felt like it was instantly aching, being missing in the wizarding world is bad enough, let alone with the affiliations your family had.  
“For about a week now, no sign or trace. I have been instructed to let you know, and ask if you knew at all of their whereabouts”  
“No...I… I haven’t even heard from them in months” It was unlike your parents to not write, you wouldn’t consider yourself overly close with your family, your grandparents had been far more like parents to you growing up.  
“Well” Snape spoke, you could tell he was trying not to linger knowing he clearly interrupted something. “Let me know if you hear anything… He will question you tomorrow as well” you nodded at his words. Unable to speak really.  
“Goodnight.” Snape was gone as quickly as he came, his dark figure seeping into the night of the hallway.  
“y/n” Draco’s voice finally broke the silence. You closed the door that had been sitting open finally.  
“Sorry I…” you weren’t even sure what you were going to say, or what you were apologizing for.  
“Come here” he held his arms out to you. You moved back to him, sitting in his robe on the bed. “I am sure they’re okay” he pulled you into his arms.  
“We both know what it means to go missing in our world Draco” you spoke the words that ate away at your heart. He didn’t speak again, just patted your head softly.  
He held you to his chest for a while, his head resting in your hair. “Am I terrible for not knowing how to feel?”  
“No, I don’t think so.” He answered, his arms holding you close to him. You knew most people in this situation would cry, but you couldn’t, at least it didn’t happen then.  
You sat together there for what felt like only seconds, until you had woken up in his arms a few hours later.  
“Draco” you whispered, he was leaning against the back of the bed sleeping but looking uncomfortable.  
“Hmm?” He woke up suddenly.  
“You look uncomfortable, come on” you pulled him so he lay with you on the bed.  
“Maybe we should get dressed,” he said groggily.  
“I’m sorry we always seem to get interupted” you sighed as you pulled your jumper on.  
“Don’t worry” he dug his face into your pillow “I have waited this long”  
You giggled as you crawled back into bed with him, his head finding its way to its favorite place on your chest. “It’s not just about you” you spoke as you stroked his hair. “I’d like to do this as much as you do”  
“We have time..” as he spoke, August stammered into the room, with a Ravenclaw boy hanging off her arm. You raised your eyebrows at her as she did.  
“Oh sorry I…” she paused “I thought you’d be sleeping”  
“We didn’t see anything” you reached for your wand which you had set next to Draco’s on the nightstand, using a quick spell to close the curtain around you.  
-  
“Have you given any more thought to coming to the manor for christmas dinner?” Draco asked the next morning while you walked to the train.  
“Do you think its… wise? Them knowing about us?” You asked  
“I don’t see why not” he watched the ground as he walked “You’re in this as much as we are”  
“Well I am pretty sure seducing you was not what they had in mind when they asked me to mentor you” you laughed  
“Right well…” he stopped you as you nearly reached the platform, people walking in a humming storm around you. “What did they expect?”  
“A friendship?” you answered.  
“Ah well… I wager we all got more than we bargained for.”

The meeting occurred that night, you had joined Draco one the ride back to the manor, him leaving you with a gentle kiss before getting out of the cab.  
“YLN” The Dark Lord spoke into the room at the meeting.  
“My Lord” you nodded your head from the seat you kept.  
“Have you heard from your parents?” He asked  
“No my Lord” you sat up straight, your eyes dead set on him.  
“Ahh well, I trust you would tell me if you had” he looked at you with those snake like eyes.  
“Of course my lord”  
“Now Draco” he turned his sights from you to Draco, whose face always seemed pale whenever the darklord was in the room. If not for his mother you wondered if he’d even be sitting there. “The cabinet”  
“Nearly finished my lord” he nodded, not looking directly at him. The Dark Lord let out a long sigh, clearly unhappy but didn’t speak of it again. Instead turning his attention to another death eater at the table. You and Draco locked eyes, the others at the table around you unaware of the connection that happened before them or so you thought. Some eyes did watch you two, Narcissa Malfoy’s eyes skimmed you both as you resisted smiles across the table. The conversation happening before you fading into a buzz. 

“Write me?” Draco asked after the meeting, you two tucked into a corner in the parlor, his hands on your arms.  
“Of course” you nodded, resisting the urge to lean into him and kiss him.  
“I will see you at the next meeting” he whispered, his hand rising to your chin, his thumb running over your lips. You could tell he was resisting the urge to kiss you as well but all in good time.  
You arrived home to an empty house, none of the lights on and the heat turned off. You could seem your breath as you walked into the living room. You worked quickly, stocking every fire in the house to warm to chilled air. The house seemed untouched from when you left it, even down to the food in the kitchen which was spoiled. How long had they been gone?  
You got your first letter from Draco the next morning.

Dear Y/N,  
I know you asked me to wait to tell them, and I had planned to but my mother started questioning me after the meeting last night and I could not lie to her. She seems okay with it, if I am being honest she seemed pleased. So maybe we were worried for nothing.  
Still no sign of your parents?

-DM

You nodded at his writings. 

“Sorry Nimbus, I have no treats for you. I have to go to the store today” Your owl cooed as it sat on its normal ledge in the living room, luckily she was more than able to fend for herself considering you knew no one had been feeding her. 

Dearest Draco, 

She’s a smart woman. I figured she would find out, though I will admit I didn’t think it would be so soon. And no, nothing from my parents, they must have been gone a while because there is no food in the house. I am going out today to fetch things, maybe you could meet me if you’re allowed out of the house? I will be at that one store in London we talked about that has the best salmon, at 1. 

Yours,  
-YFI YLI

You sent away your owl with you letter, clad in a dark green envelope. You dressed, not bothering to unpack your case. You pulled a black off the shoulder sweater over your skin, and a black skirt, thigh high socks and some boots something simple for the snowy ground outside. You were used to the house being silent, but this felt sicker, lonelier.  
You ran your fingers over the records in the living room, something just anything to fill the silence. Placing the needle down on your nearly worn out copy of Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. The wizarding world made for some good music, but Stevie Nicks was your personal favorite.  
You waved your wand, allowing for the record player to continue playing until you told it not to. You let yourself spin around the room for a while before catching the clock. Maybe apperating in would be your best option, luckily shops like the one you were going to had a special place to arrive at.  
You purchased your items, having spent more time in the store than you’d admit, hoping Draco would show. You felt a little silly, waiting around for him. You felt your head spin a little as you apperated home, the weight of your groceries making the trip a little more aggressive than usual.  
You had just finished cleaning out the old food and putting in the new when your owl came back to the window, this time you had a little something small to give her. 

Dear y/n,  
Sorry I didn’t come. I received your letter just after 1:30 and couldn’t convince my mother to let me come. She said leaving the manor isn’t smart at the moment. Though she did say if you’d like to join us for supper tomorrow, you are welcomed. I will admit I am jealous of your empty house, the manor is always crawling with people it seems someone is always making noise. Hope to see you tomorrow  
Yours  
-DM

You couldn’t help but shake your head, of course this all would turn into something you’d never expected this time last year you’d never thought you’d be totally in love with anyone, let alone Draco Malfoy. You waved your wand to your record machine, turning the volume to max. The loneliness around you pushed away by the melodies of Fleetwood Mac. As you spun around the house, you figured hey if you were alone. What would make you feel the best? A few drinks, that's what.  
You had made yourself a tall glass or red wine from the wine cellar, luckily that was stocked high as usual. You had knocked back nearly two bottles of the most expensive stuff when the song Dreams sputtered out of the speakers, you felt the alcohol running over you, the heat filling your head with bravery. Stevie’s voice acts as a start to your fire.  
Thunder only happens when it’s raininnnnnnnnn  
You drifted through the house, trying to find the closest piece of parchment you could manage, where had all the paper gone?  
When they’re playyyyyiiinnnnn’  
You nearly tore apart the living room, sighing as nothing seemed to be there. You set down your glass on a nearby table, your body was hot to the touch. You managed to finally find a paper. Writing on it sloppily

Draco,  
I don’t know if I can wait until tomorrow.  
-yours

The words fell from the quil, like they would from your drunken mouth. You giggled as you handed the note to Nimbus “Straight to his window please” you figured that’s where he'd be at this house. Considering it was nearly midnight.  
You had just opened another bottle when Nimbus returned, another note in her claws. 

Y/n,  
Your note smelt of wine. Have you been drinking? I wish I was with you to see you how you are. If only I were 17 I would apperate to you  
-Your Draco

His written words made you smile, a terribly wicked idea crawled into your brain. He may not be 17, but you know who was?  
Before you could think twice you had found yourself sucked into the white fog, the world spinning fast around you. Just as you thought it, you were there standing outside of his bedroom door. Had you been anywhere near sober you’d know better than to be here, but you weren’t so instead you knocked.


	16. Again...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains SMUT

“Y/n?” Draco’s face was shocked to see you.   
“Can I come in?” you smiled, your cheeks flushed red.   
“Yes, come in come in” he pulled you into the room. “What are you doing here?”  
“You said you’d apparate to me if you could…” you swayed into the darkness of his room. He was wearing his usual pajamas, a matching black cloth set. You still wore your sweater and skirt, your thigh high socks working as shoes since you never bothered to put any on.   
“You’re mad” you could hear in his voice he was trying not to smile.   
“No” you giggled “I’m drunk”   
“You are” he nodded, finally letting the smile come to his lips.   
“I brought a gift” you grinned, shaking the bottle of fire whiskey you had grabbed from your parents stache. His small grinned turned then into a big smile, locking the door behind him. 

“Shhhhh” he shushed you as you laughed, the bottle nearly gone you had let him do most of the drinking, seeing as you were already knackered when you got there.   
“Sorry” you laughed, babysitting the bottle in our hand.   
“Give me that” he reached for the bottle, putting it to his lips you gasped as he pounded down the rest of the drink. You sat with your legs crossed on his bed, him closest to the headboard and you with your back to the door.   
“Go, go, go” you cheered him on in a whisper as he let the last few drops of the rich honey liquid seep down his throat. He sighed and he set down the bottle, the feeling really hitting his head in just the right way.   
“Thank you” he said with his eyes closed.  
“I figured you needed a drink” you leaned back on your hand, letting your head fall back to look at the ceiling.   
“I did.” he nodded, his eyes opening to watch you. One of your legs tucked under the other as it stuck straight out resting over his lap now. His eyes skimmed your body, taking in all of you. The whisky whispering to him, telling him what to do.   
You looked away from the ceiling at the feeling of his fingers running over your leg.   
“I love when you wear these” he spoke, his eyes not leaving your legs. You smiled as his finger tips laced your leg, stopping as they met the bareskin above the hem of the sock. His free hand slid up then too, stopping on your thigh.   
“You do?” you spoke, his eyes coming up to meet yours. His perfect fair skin was blushed just as yours was, alcohol kissing it tenderly.   
“Sometimes I picture you in just these and that black set” his words were brave, making their own way to your ears. “The one with the mesh”   
You know exactly what set he was thinking of,.  
“Close your eyes” you whispered. He looked at you confused for a second, then did as you instructed. You pulled away your clothes quickly, being as gentle as possible so he wouldn’t know what you were doing.   
“Okay” you called him back, his eyes opening then “this one?” you asked, sitting before him in that very same set, matching bra and panty with meshed black panels. The look on his face gave away that yes, that was the exact set. He nodded, only after his eyes had taken in their new view.   
“Is this what you’d imagine?” you asked, pulling your leg to you so you could kneel.   
“Nearly” he said, leaning back against the headboard.   
“What's missing?” you asked  
“Come here” he pulled your hand, moving your body easily so you were straddling his hips. He wrapped his arms around your back, pulling your head down to his. “Usually in my imaganings... I'm inside you” he whispered. You couldn’t help but gasp at his words, he was clearly a lot more brave with a little liquor.   
“Do you think about this a lot?” you bit your lip, pressing your body onto his. He nodded, his hands running down the skin of your nearly bare back. “Then why don’t we finish the fantasy?” He didn’t speak, instead he kissed you. His mouth working so perfectly with yours tasting heavily of sweet fire whiskey, the cinnamon biting your tongue. You could help but moan as his hands worked fast to unclasp your bra, the sound filling you both with the needy feeling.   
You pulled away suddenly, pulling at the buttons of his pajamas, growing impatient as they kept sliding from your fingers. You let out a frustrated groan before you couldn’t wait any longer your hands digging into spaces between the buttons ripping apart the opening buttons ripping the buttons completely from their places. You were sick of waiting.   
He groaned as you planted your mouth on his shoulder, sucking on the skin there. Finding that sweet spot, you could feel him in his pants as he grew under you. He bit hard on your shoulder, his mouth hot on your skin making a loud moan escape your lips.   
“Shhhhh” he shushed you again. Instead of responding you grabbed his wand waving it. “Sound proofing?” He asked. You just nodded, moving back to his neck, kissing there again and again.   
You ground your body on his, begging for him with your skin.   
“Please take them off” you begged as you ran your hands on him over his pajama bottoms. He was fast to do as you asked, pushing them away this time he pulled off his underwear with them. He had your panties off short after, your bodies finally able to be on one another without any barriers. You gasped as his hand came down, touching you. Your skin turning instantly to goosebumps at the feeling of him. Once he knew you were ready for him he pulled your hips into just the right position. This time there was no one to stop you, just the 3 of you. Draco, yourself, and whiskey.   
His head fell back to the headboard as you lowered yourself onto him, taking him inside of you completely. You moaned as your hips met his, being so completely filled with him every single inch.   
“Oh baby” he moaned for you, it sounded like heaven to your ears. With his praise you began to move moving up and down on him slowly to let your body get used to the feeling of him, as if that was even possible. He was so completely enclosed in lust he could barely move the feeling of you wrapped so perfectly around him made him feel like he couldn’t breathe, the feverish noises escaping him only made you want him more. Your movements got more intense, faster and harder. You lifted your hands to the back of the headboard to use as more leverage to power your movements, switching between bouncing on him and grinding on him. His face was so beautiful under you, like that of a Greek God. His normally exactly placed blonde hair tossed so messily yet still so perfect. As you moved you enjoyed entirely your view the euphoria of his needy noises egging you on with every single movement and heartbeat. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of him, your head coming back on its own allowing for your eyes to close and just really take in every single feeling and noise in the room. You gasped a little as his fingers were suddenly stroking your clit, working with such exact and perfect motions.   
“Fuck you feel so good” he groaned as your body clenched onto him, teasing your release. You bounced harder on him, needing more of his words, needing all of it. He noticed the quickened and sloppier change in your movements from his words. “Yes baby” he gave you more of what he knew you wanted “fuuuucccckkk yes”. His fingers never faltered, only making you feel more and more like you were going to fall into a million pieces or even melt completely into the bedsheets. “Come for me” he whispered, feeling how your body was starting to unravel around him. Your release boomed inside of you, causing you to let out a near scream of pleasure. Draco groaned in response, pulling his hand from you and placing them both on your hips. Moving your body for you carrying you on that high for as long as he could manage. You moved your hands to his chest, holding onto him with all the strength you had left. You could feel as his chest started to clench that he was close.   
“Oh Draco” you called his name, which was the final point to send him over the edge. His fingers dug so hard into the skin of your hips you knew it would leave bruises, but you didn’t care he pushed you down hard onto him as he came, groaning loudly.   
“Fuckk baby” he sighed as you let your body relax on him. Leaning down to press your streat covered forehead into his shoulder. “That was” he let out a few breaths “So worth the wait”

You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep until you woke up the next morning to a knocking at Draco’s door.   
“Draco darling, breakfast is ready” you heard Narcissa speaking from the doorway, hearing as she went to open the door you jumped out of bed still completely naked.   
“Coming Mother!” He yelled from the bed, nearly laughing at you as you stammered out of the bed. Of course all your clothes were littered on the floor on the other side of the bed nearest the door.   
“Draco why is your door locked?” she asked.  
He looked at you, unsure of what to do. He jumped out of the bed, pulling on his bottoms.   
“Go” he whispered, smiling at you.   
“I’m naked” you shook your head at him, trying hard not to laugh. Your noise spell should still be in effect so she couldn’t hear you but you whispered to be safe. Draco was grabbing your clothes when you heard Narcissa called Alohomora.   
“Are you coming to dinner?” he whispered as he held you clothes in his hand.   
“Yes” you nodded, going to reach for your things but just before you could you heard Narcissa opening the door. You panicked, popping out of the room before she could see you. Draco did what he could do to shove your things under his covers before she came in. He was standing near his bed when she came in.   
“Why was your door locked?” She asked.   
“Sorry mother I was practicing my nonverbal spells last night and forgot.”

You found yourself luckily standing in your bedroom, even though your brain was flustered you were home. You laughed at yourself as you looked in the mirror in your room, your chest was covered with purple bruises. You hadn’t even remembered him leaving those with you, but they felt really nice and looked just so beautiful.   
-

You found yourself smiling to yourself as you made yourself some breakfast when another letter arrived. 

Darling,   
I can’t wait to see you tonight. Dinner is at 6.   
Also, next time, please warn me of the bruises on my neck, luckily my mother hadn’t seen them.   
Yours   
-DM

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, biting your lip thinking about your night and how absolutely perfect it had been. It completely made up for the small hang over you were feeling. You giggled as you fed Nimbus a snack, allowing her to hop around the kitchen floor. 

You weren't sure why you were so nervous, you had been to the Malfoy Manor plenty of times by now. Although really only for meetings never for something like this. How were you supposed to explain to Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy that while they had asked you to mentor their son, you had fallen in love with him? You dressed in something with a high neck, hiding away the bruises that lingered on your collar bones. You could simply have healed them, but you really didn’t want to. You smiled as you rolled on another pair of thigh high socks, because of course your others were still sitting in Draco’s room. The dress had a high collar, but a low back exposing most of your skin to the cold air. It was something simple, but more than acceptable considering how elegantly the Malfoy’s always dressed even when in their home.   
You looked at yourself in the mirror once more, taking sure everything was perfect before you apperated to their front door. You had thought maybe too long about where you should pop in, normally for meetings your family would drive over so this seemed like the most appropriate way to go.   
You stood at the door for a second, the snow billowing behind you, the thought about turning around and running away crossed your mind. It was one thing to be so public at Hogwarts, it was another to be public here. Before you could really make up your mind on what you wanted the front door opened, a small elf standing in the wake of the large entryway. You took in the sight of it for a long moment, still thinking maybe you could turn and walk away until he said your name.   
“Come in silly girl” he laughed as he spotted you standing in the dark. “It’s freezing out there”   
“Sorry” you nodded, “excuse me” you looked at the elf who was shocked by your kindness and manners. Moving to the side to allow you in.   
“I told you, you don’t have to be nice to them” he looked at the elf with a sickened face as it closed the door.   
“It’s called manners, Malfoy. Perhaps you should look into them” you raised your eyebrows at him. He scoffed.   
“I have plenty of manners, just not to them” he scowled at the elf again as it walked away. You rolled your eyes.   
“No one is watching, you don’t have to be such a prat”   
He looked at you, shocked at first then smiling. “I wasn’t a prat last night now was I?”  
You let out a long sigh, leaning close to whisper to him. “Keep it up, and see if it happens again.”   
“Come” he said through his normal smirking face “they’re waiting in the dining room for us”   
“Is it quite odd that I’m nervous?” you asked as you two walked alongside one another, Draco having held his arm out to you to talk you in.   
“You’ve been here a million times, why be nervous?” He asked  
“Because last time I was here, I wasn’t fucking you” you kept your voice low.   
“Well, if it makes you feel better. My mother seemed quite pleased I chose you to date. And not someone like Pansy” You were nearing what was the closed door to the dining room. You scoffed, although something in you wished you could tell your parents, granted their reactions would likely be the same. For Pureblood children to find their way together without arrangements made for celebrations, especially families of such high social standing.   
“Probably because I am actually fit enough for you” you grinned  
“I wager you’re correct” he raised his eyebrows at you, turning to face you outside of the large doors. “Before we go in” he leaned in, his face close to yours kissing you softly. You breathed in the smell of his cologne, tasting the gentle mint that sat so perfectly on his mouth. The mixture of all these things calms your nerves better than any power you had.   
Your kiss was interrupted by a low clearing of someone's throat, you shot your eyes to Lucius Malfoy who had opened the door to the dining room. Draco didn’t speak, instead he took your arm, walking past Lucius, who watched you with every step a small smirk threatening to leave his face. Not a good way to start the evening. 

“So, y/n” Narcissa cocked her head at you. “Still no sign of your parents?” she asked  
“No ma’am, nothing yet. The house was abandoned when I got there. All the food had spoiled for I reckon they have been gone longer then we knew” you explained while you waited for the food to be brought out. This table seemed somehow bigger than usual considering every other time you had sat here it was packed with death eaters.   
“Is it common for you to go months without hearing from them?” Lucius asked.   
“Yes sir. I went 2 years without seeing them when I was 14 actually” you looked at Lucius, his eyes sunken in a tired. You imagined being in Azkaban for a year took its toll on him.   
“That’s quite odd” Narcissa spoke, pulling your attention back to her.   
“Perhaps to most, I am used to being alone however. My grandparents had raised me and they died when I was 10”   
“Mother, you said this wouldn’t be an interrogation” Draco broke the tension.  
“Sorry darling, we were just asking” Narcissa lent her son a small smile. “Why don’t we speak about other things than. Tell me y/n, how are classes?” she sipped from the cup before her. You nearly laughed at the severe subject change.   
“Wonderful” you looked at her, smiling as sincerely as you could manage. “I am top of my class in most courses”   
“A brilliant witch I see” She smiled at you, her eyes moving between you and Draco who was just watching you. “I do have one more question, if you’ll permit me”   
“Mother” Draco tried to interject, you set your hand on his on the table, giving him a look that it was okay.   
“Yes Ma’am?” You asked.   
“I have heard whispers about what your mission for the dark lord was, and I have to admit I am curious”   
“Mother” Draco sounded shocked at her question.   
“I had to kill my betrothed” you said sitting straight in your seat.   
“That’s what I heard, that must have been difficult for you”   
“It was” you nodded, this lie had become so true sometimes you let yourself believe it. “I made him drown himself. If that's what you’re curious about. With the Imperius Curse” You felt Draco’s eyes on you again, you hadn’t even told him how you had done it; he just knew that it had been done, though he knew that you didn’t truly regret it.   
“Curious. You would think if someone needed to kill a man they loved, they would make it quick” She raised her eyebrow at you.   
“The Dark Lord was clear.” you spoke, though you knew Draco wished you wouldn’t “He had to suffer”   
“Ahhh” she agreed, nodding her head. Before she could ask anymore questions the food was brought to the table. Draco looked down to his plate, swallowing hard. You glanced at him, asking him in your own way if he needed you, he shook his head a quick no before bringing some of the food to his mouth. This small exchange seemed so normal to you, you barely noticed it but someone did. Narcissa watched every action you did, every movement and breath. LIke she was studying you.   
“How are your classes going Darling?” Narcissa asked Draco over the food at the table “I never did get to ask you”   
“Fine mother, nothing too exciting. Having Snape as the Defence teacher makes the class that much easier. And potions has been eventful to say the least, that Slughorn man is batty” He resting his cup to his lip.  
“So I have heard” She nodded. “Do you two have any classes together?”   
“Yes, potions and Herbology” You kept your face flat, always preparing for another round of questions.   
“Draco is so brilliant. Already taking 7th year courses” she beamed, this made you smile because she was absolutely right.   
“He is quite brilliant isn't he?” you looked at Draco again, who was watching you already. He seemed to always be looking at you.   
“You’re the brilliant one. Top of your class in nearly every course, a prefect in your 4th year. I wager you’d been head girl if that daft Dumbledor wasn’t in control”   
“Being head girl sounds dreadful” you giggled to him “You get only a little more power and way more responsibility than a prefect.”   
“I was head girl,” Narcissa spoke, breaking your banter. Her face was flat, almost upset. “And you’re right. It was quite dreadful” she was laughing then, the mood lifting. You laughed too, thankful you hadn’t offended her. “You two have far more important things than being head of house anyway” she nodded.   
“Yes mother” Draco agreed, turning his hand so your fingers fell into place there. He was braver than you were, you had been ready to keep this an entire secret for as long as needed. Maybe it was because after all, death eaters or not. They were his parents.   
“So I wager you were pleased to hear about the called off betrothal” Narcissa said, looking at the intimate moment you two shared.   
“I am” you nodded, looking from Draco back to her. “Not the circumstances of course, but if her family wasn’t loyal enough to understand the missions needed. Then they weren’t right to begin with”   
Narcissa’s eyebrows rose at your words “I never thought of it that way.” she looked like then that something was ticking in her brain “Your parents haven’t chosen someone for you again then I assume?” she asked   
“No ma’am, after the last one they said they would take their time choosing. Someone far more worthy” you looked back to Draco, whose jaw was clenching.   
“You’re nearly 18 aren’t you?” She asked.   
“Yes Mrs. Malfoy, this summer”   
“After that you’re free to choose for yourself?”   
“I am” you thought about this fact a lot, hoping maybe your parents would forget they had not set anyone for you. Or maybe they felt too badly after the last choice.  
“I would rather like to speak to your mother, so if you hear from them again. Please send her right to me”   
“Of course” all you could do was shake your head, agreeing to her statement. What was she planning?  
“And if not” she shrugged “Than I would like to speak to you instead, once you’re an 18”   
“Yes ma’am” Even Draco watched his mother curiously. What on earth was going on inside her head? Lucius even looked to her, but instead he seemed to be able to read her mind. Speaking to one another in a way only married couples could, without words.   
Dinner ended with a lot less words, Narcissa and Lucius spoke softly to one another as you and Draco did.   
“It was lovely having you” Narcissa smiled as she shook your hand. “Draco had mentioned you don’t do anything for christmas and said he would be inviting you to supper. Will you be joining us?”   
“I would hate to impose” you shook her hand   
“Oh no dear don’t be silly. Come early and spend the day with us. No one should spend the holiday alone”   
“I would love too” you released her hand.   
“I will walk you out” Draco rested his hand on the skin of your back.   
“I would like to have a word with her before you do, woman to woman” Narcissa looked at Draco. Who seemed worried.  
“Go on” you smiled at him “I will meet you in the parlor”   
He just shook his head, stepping away from you both.   
“You love my son” she said as you two stood alone in the dining room. You felt your breathing and heart stop. “I can tell” she smiled softly, a great and somehow calming smile.   
“I do” your words were a whisper.   
“Good, give him something to fight for. Now go on, he should be pacing by now” She nearly let you walk away “Oh, and if you’re going to be sleeping with my son. Try not to leave any visible marks on him…” you felt your heart drop “again”


	17. Good night?

You let yourself glance back to her for only a second, a small smirk was lingering on her face and her eyebrow raised.  
“Yes ma’am” you pushed the words out of your body with all the force you had, then turned again taking everything in your not to run out of the room. As you entered the parlor your hands were sweating, and your heart was pounding. It felt like you had ran a mile in those 15 feet. Draco was standing in the parlor with his father when you talked in, they seemed to be deep in conversation. You crossed your hands in front of you, waiting patiently for them to finish talking before walking up to them when in all honestly you wanted to apparate right out of the room, go home, and crawl completely out of your skin in embarrassment.  
“You have until the end of the year. Don’t get too distracted” you heard Lucius speak.  
“I won’t father, she is helping me…” Draco tried to explain  
“Yes, I am fully aware of how she's been helping you” Lucius snapped. Causing Draco’s face to flush, you consider yourself lucky you were confronted with the calmer parent.  
“I don’t believe how my mission is completed is any of your business” Draco spoke, shocking you. “As long as it's done”  
You had started backing away into a nearby hallway when Narcissa came in and interrupted the fighting men with a faint cough. They looked away from one another and looked directly at you, then Narcissa who you hadn’t noticed walked up right behind you, her face carried a look of annoyance.  
“Draco, darling” she rested her hand on your shoulder. “Why don’t you and y/n take a walk, I would like to speak to your father” you watched her as she glared at him “alone please”  
Draco nodded, walking over to you.  
“Let me show you some parts of the house you haven’t seen” He watched as Narcissa’s hand fell from you, his taking its place on the small of your back. He seemed to push you from the room, though you didn’t need any pushing to want to get out of there.  
“That was embarrassing” you sighed the moment you knew they’d be out of earshot.  
“I am sorry you had to hear him speak like that” Draco’s hand fell to his side.  
“Not just that” you chewed your cheek “You were wrong about your mother not seeing the mark this morning” he stopped in his tracks, leaving you to walk a few paces ahead of him. You turned to look at his face, which seemed white.  
“What did she say?” he choked out.  
“If you’re going to be sleeping with my son make sure not to leave any visible marks” you spoke in our best Narcissa impression. You thought for a second he may be sick, until he started cackling loudly.  
“It’s not funny! I wanted to avada Kadarva myself right there” You crossed your arms at him.  
“I am sorry” he said between laughs “I just can’t even see my mother saying something like that” he was holding his stomach from laughing so hard.  
“It was bloody embarrassing”  
“You said your mother made comments like that all the time” he said, continuing to walk to you.  
“Yes MY mother. Not yours” you rolled your eyes, walking alongside him.  
“Well” his hand resumed it place on the small of your back “At least we know she likes you” 

You found yourselves sitting in a small back garden, enchanted so it felt warm even though the snow outside threatened to make its way in.  
“This is beautiful” you smiled, walking around the perfectly lit enclosure.  
“Thank you, I used to care for most of these plants myself. I since lost the motivation” he nodded, touching softly on one of the smaller plants.  
“You? Interested in Herbology?” you leaned over and smelt deeply on one of the few flowers you recognized, a wizard lilly, with the most perfect shade of black petal giving away just how perfectly it was cared for.  
“I was once.” he walked to your side, a small pair of scissors in his hand. He reached over, making a swift cut at the flower you had been smelling. “Here” he said, taking the stem into his hand and handing it to you. “Put this in water when you get home”  
You took the dark green stem into your hand, the black petals flowing long nearly over your fingers. You pulled it to your face again, closing your eyes as you took in the smell.  
“You can be really sweet when you want to be Draco Malfoy” you let your eyes meet his.  
“Tell anyone and I will say you’re lying” he grinned, his face turning curious after falling from the smile. “What do you think my mother wants to talk to you about after your turn 18?” You had to admit you had nearly completely forgotten about that part of your dinner conversation.  
“Oh” you thought for a second “I really can’t say. Do you have any ideas?”  
“No, I wish I did” he said “I hate secrets” he was watching you closely now, giving away something in his mind.  
“I am sorry I didn’t tell you about what happened really with Matthew” you looked back down at the flower.  
“I just didn’t realize how badly it had happened” he let his fingers touch your cheek softly, making you look back up at him. “I am sorry”  
“I told you I hate that word” you smiled up at him, his perfect eyes admittedly making the word not so vile in your ears.  
“Right,” he nodded, running his thumb softly over your lips. “You’ve been through a lot” his face was flat, but not in an angry way, just a simple matter of fact kind of way.  
“We both have” you grinned, making him smile back at you.  
“Will you come tonight?” he whispered, leaning his forehead to yours.  
“Do you want me to?” you took in a deep breath, allowing for the smell of him to take you over.  
“You know I do” he leaned in, kissing you softly, his hand still lingering on your cheek. You let yourself get lost there, in his lips. The darkness of the world around you never seemed to matter when you were touching one another in any way you could manage. It felt like living in that moment of bliss you had felt after that one day in the potions classroom every single time. You nearly jumped when you heard a small laugh, both of you shooting your eyes to the door. Bellatrix was standing there, leaning on the door frame.  
“Couldn’t wait until tonight I see” she smirked, her eyebrows raising.  
“Ms. Lestrange” you stepped away from Draco, causing his hand to fall.  
“Ahh kids, don’t worry about me! I wont tell” she left her leaning spot on the wall, and walked over to you two. Draco could barely look at her as she did, she circled you two like a vulture.  
“Fantastic choice Draco” she said, stopping beside you. “I truly evil witch to help you find your way” she ran her eyes over your body “A perfect vessel for pure blood children”  
Her words nearly made your jaw drop, instead you made sure to stand straight, had it been anyone else you may have said something but because it was her you kept your mouth shut.  
“Now Bella, let's not be inappropriate” Narcissa’s voice luckily broke the tension in the room, excusing you and Draco from having to speak. “Come children, it’s getting rather late. I am sure y/n would like to go to bed” she walked into the room, looking at the flower in your hand.  
“Of course Cissy” Bellatrix bowed away, seeping into the darkness of one of the hallways.  
“Sorry about Bellatrix shes…” Narcissa started speaking, seemingly at a loss for words.  
“Off” Draco looked at his mom then from the place he had been looking on the floor. Narcissa just nodded, then shook her head.  
You all walked back onto the house, leaving the greenhouse behind you.  
“We will see you Thursday then?” Narcissa asked as you reentered the parlor, Lucius seemed to be nowhere in sight.  
“Yes Ma’am” you nodded “I will be there”  
“Good. If you come around 9am we start off the day with breakfast” she reached her hand out and touched your cheek softly, “Good night” she spoke once more before turning and leaving, you watched her closely as she did, you couldn’t help but smile. Her affectionate actions made you feel safe somehow.  
“Well,” You turned to look as Draco as he laughed softly “Now you’re stuck with me because she loves you”  
“You think so?” you looked back to the hallway she had wandered away through  
“Believe it or not she’s not usually that soft to anyone beside me”  
“Well she's a smart woman, she knows being soft can make you seem weak” you looked back up at Draco. He kissed you again, this time just a quick peck.  
“I should be going” you held your flower close to your chest.  
“Good night” he spoke, still so close to you.  
“Good night?” you whispered, his eyebrows raised “I will see you in an hour silly”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Darlings,  
> So as of today 4/11/2020 I have tested positive for c19. So I am stuck at home for the foreseeable future, my health is not doing so hot so forgive me if my uploading is spotty.  
> The next chapter will be... Spivey to say the least />  
> I also have considered making a special social media somewhere to keep you guys updated on my predicted uploads and stuff if anyone would be interested. This would include questions on what youd like to see in the stories (all of them; Touch Starved, Mentor, Trick flyer and stories to come) and maybe some hints as to what I am thinking for these longer stories.  
> Lemme know what you think and remember, I love you xx


	18. Are you ready?

You let yourself wander around your house, killing the little time you had before apperating your way back into Draco’s bedroom to no doubt spend another amazing night together. You scribed quickly on a piece of paper, bribing Nimbus with something extra tasty to send her back into the cold so late. You both would have to find a way to get a hold of one another without sending your owls so often. 

Draco,   
Say when.  
-Yours

Was all you wrote, not wanting anyone to know anything if they were to see the letter first. You dug through your things, finding something nice, and a little easier to pull on and off. Just in case you had another morning like last night. You had just finished brushing your hair when their owl returned to your window. You smiled as you read the single word. 

When

You didn’t take any more moments, just popping into a hot white circling ball. You health your head spin a little as you appeared in Draco’s bathroom. You figured this was a safe place to be in case someone was at the door. Which was smart thinking, because it seemed someone was. You heard Narcissa speaking softly to Draco in his room. You were thankful for all the practice you had, making your apparition silent.   
“I know it’s late dear” you heard her speaking. You felt bad eavesdropping, but it wasn’t like you had much of a choice. “I just wanted to talk to you now that she's gone”  
“Okay mother” you heard him speak, you walked as quietly as possible, leaning against a wall making sure no one could see you through the open door.   
“I just want to warn you to be careful around her” Narcissa spoke after you heard the door close.   
“What do you mean?” He asked. You felt your heart start to sink, this wasn’t something you knew you should be listening in on.  
“Your father and I have insight that she might carry some kind of magic, something that could be dangerous” you swallowed hard. How on earth could they know that? You started panicking, you were sure you could trust Draco to keep your secret. Was your trust placed correctly?  
“I don’t think that's a real thing mother,” he said, calming your nerves almost instantly.  
“I just wanted to make sure you kept an eye out. And make sure you actually have feelings for this girl, and it's not just this strange power she's supposed to have” How much did they know?  
“She doesn’t have any type of weird power mother. I can assure you” You smiled, feeling completely confident in him now.   
“You’re sure?” She asked, you knew before anything else she trusted her son. This made you feel a little guilty, making him lie to her like this.   
“Yes mother, I am sure” he seemed to sigh at her. He was a very convincing liar, even you would have believed him.   
“So you have these feelings for her for real then” you could hear the smile in her voice. This was the part, more than any before you wished you could not listen to. Though something wicked inside of you wanted to know.   
“Mother” he spoke, you could sense his embarrassment.   
“You can’t fool me Draco, I raised you.”   
“I don’t know what I feel,” he admitted, making you nod because you knew you loved him, but you still sometimes found yourself questioning it. “She’s kept me from falling apart. And all I ever think about is her” you felt yourself blushing.   
“Well good, because in case you couldn’t tell Draco” she spoke, a little laugh escaping her. “She's absolutely in love with you”  
“Is she really?” he sounded a little shocked.   
“She confirmed it to me after dinner when I asked” You clenched your hand, you knew she had no loyalty to you and all to her son. But you had to admit you were a little sour. She would out you like that. The room was silent for a while. “You can’t fool me” Narcissa spoke, breaking the silence. “I see how you look at her, and I know it's not just the lusty stuff”   
“Mother please” he begged.  
“And Draco” she kept speaking, though you knew he was probably crawling out of his skin in embarrassment. “If she’s going to be sneaking into your room at night.” you felt a rock form in your throat. “Just don’t let your father find out” you bite down hard on your lip, trying desperately not to laugh.   
“Okay mom” Draco sounded softer, you leaned against the counter now. Envying again their relationship, as much as you loved the freedom your relationship with your parents had allowed you, sometimes you wished you had a mother figure like that.   
“And be safe” she added, your hand came to your mouth, you could instantly see the look on Draco’s face without really seeing it. You knew NOW he was ready to crawl out of his skin.   
“Mother, please” he was begging now, just wanting the conversation to stop.   
“Hey, don’t get me wrong I like this one. But I would like you to finish school and be married before having children”   
“Bloody hell, please leave” he begged again. You could hear her voice as it moved towards the door.   
“Good night darling” Narcissa somehow sounded so pleased with herself, Draco had been wrong, apparently about her being just as embarrassed as him when talking about this stuff. You smiled, she was a good mom in every way. As you heard the door click closed, Draco locking it behind her he sighed, you could almost see him as he shook his head.   
Knowing it was safe now you aperated again, this time just into his bedroom playing it off as if you had just gotten there and didn’t hear every single thing that had just happened.   
He jumped a little as you did, still leaning with his hand pressed to his bedroom door.   
“You said when” you held your hands up. He sighed, leaning away from the door. “You okay?” you asked.   
“I am fine” he was short  
“I can feel that you’re not” you had gotten so attuned with him that you could feel nearly everything he was feeling without touching him. That’s how you figured you knew about what was happening in the bathroom with Harry.   
“Right” he chuckled a little. “Can’t really lie about that stuff around you now can I?” he pulled away from the door. Making his way to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Can I ask you something.” he looked into your eyes “And please don’t get mad”  
“I promise” you could only imagine what he was going to ask.   
“You don’t… use your powers on me with me knowing do you?” you could see in his face he was actually a little worried, which you had to admit hurt your feelings a little. Though you had to understand, it wasn’t unusual for people to wonder these things if they knew what you could do. Your own mother at times growing up would become wary of you, maybe that's why they stayed away so much.   
“Never” you assured him, touching his chin softly. “I promise you, I never push anything to you without knowing you want me to” you weren’t sure why you were whispering.   
“I know I’m sorry I just” he stopped himself, leaning his forehead to yours.   
“It’s okay. I get it, I would wonder the same thing”   
“I have to tell you something” he spoke, his face close to yours.   
“Yes?”  
“They know, or they think they know. What you are” you closed your eyes, mostly to stop yourself from grinning widely. You had to admit you wondered if he would tell you what she said, this only really proved his loyalty to you more.   
“How much do they know?” You asked, feeling bad now for acting like you hadn’t heard the whole conversation.   
“That you have this power. Mother had just left before you came. They had a general idea of what they think you can do, I assured her you didn’t have any such power”  
You felt the rotting feeling of guilt well in your stomach, you knew if he hadn’t divulged his feelings in the conversation you heard you would tell him instantly.   
“You lied to her for me” you said instead of asking, now wanting to lie anymore.  
“I did” he nodded, his head still pressed to yours.   
“Thank you” you whispered, letting your lips touch his softly. You’d have to tell him someday you heard it all, but right now was not the time.   
“I do have one more question” he said, wrapping his arms harder around you, pressing your body to his.   
“And what is that?” you asked, smiling in his warm embrace.   
He whispered into your ear. “Are you ready?”


	19. say it then

You woke up before Draco did. You couldn’t help but smile as he clung to your chest, he always seemed to sleep so soundly there with or without your influence. You slowly moved him, not wanting to wake him from his sweet sleeping state. As you did he rolled on his own, turning to face the far wall. The sun had just started peaking over the horizon, the earth outside was littered with freshly fallen snow, which only lit his dark bedroom even more.   
You lost yourself in the sights, the large yard outside the window, and his sleeping frame in the bed. You knew you should leave, but you really didn’t want to. Reluctantly you stood, letting your feet settle on the cold floor. As you pulled back on your nightie you heard people talking in the house, gentle mutterings.   
“Draco promised me she doesn’t have any power Lucius” you heard Narcissa’s voice.   
“Did you really think he would tell us if she did?” Lucius sounded far more stern, and less agreeable that Narcissa seemed.   
“Unlike you, Lucius, I trust our son” Narcissa’s tone was extremely dismissive, disappointed even. He didn’t speak again, instead you heard his footsteps as they made their way down the hallway and descended the stairs. You knew the Malfoy family rested on turbulent waters, and it made you ache now knowing you were adding to the storm.   
It wasn’t until you heard more footsteps coming from where their room was that you left, being sucked into your usual appertaining cloud. You sighed as you returned to you room, wishing you at least had said goodbye to Draco.   
It wasn’t until you opened your bedroom door yoh knew something was wrong. The normal hum of the record player you had constantly doing downstairs had stopped. The sound of bumping and people chattering filled the air now instead.   
You gripped your want tight in your fist, ready to fight. As you stuck to the wall you listened, hoping maybe you could recognize the voices. As you crept to the living room you did. It sounded like only two voices.   
You pulled away from the wall, making yourself visible at the top of the stairs.   
“Mr. Malfoy?”   
As you spoke his eyes rose, sticking hard in your skin.   
“Grab her” He said, looking to the other man in your living room. The man came after you quickly, you recognized him then as Thorfinn Rowle. You lifted your wand without any hesitation.   
“Crucio” you whispered, instantly sending Thorfinn to the ground, his voice filling your home with terrible screamed.   
“DOES THE DARK LORD REQUIRE ME?!” You yelled over his screeching cries. Lucius’s face gave away little to nothing. But his words or lack there of answered your question. “Then I suggest you leave” you released Thorfinn from your spell, watching as he crumbled to the floor.   
As he continued to stand, leaning heavy on his walking stick you descended a few of the stairs to Lucius.   
“The only reason I don’t kill you now, Lucius Malfoy, is for your wife and son. For that same reason, I won’t be relating this clear intrusion to The Dark Lord”   
Lucius’s glare released a little, to something a little more worried.   
“I know what you are. And I will find proof” he growled.   
“You’re barking mad, Lucius.” You finished walking down the stairs. You may not be as tall as Lucius Malfoy, but you were clearly far more confident. “I have proven myself to the Dark Lord in far more ways than you have, and you know this.” You watched as Thorfinn stood, wavering. “I apologize Rowle, I suggest realigning yourself with someone far less mad”   
“Right” he groaned, holding his sides. “My apologies yln”   
“Actually.” You looked back to Lucius. Whose jaw was clenched, teeth grinding. “Let’s go. I think it’s best we let your family know where you are this morning” his face fell.   
“You wouldn’t” he spoke.   
“I don’t lie to your son, unlike you” you snapped. He lunged at your himself now, moving to pull out his wand. Before he could move much you were gone, disappearing into the white fog of apperation.   
You stumbled as you found yourself in the Malfoy Manor living room.   
“Y/n?” Narcissa asked as she saw you from her seated place on the couch.   
“Narcissa” you sighed. “I apologize for my intrusion”   
Before you could explain much Lucius and Rowle were in the room. You just barely heard as Lucius spoke   
“Stupify!” He yelled, aiming his wand at you. You waved a counter curse back, sending his attempted spell off onto a wall of the manor. Cracking a tall stone pillar.   
“LUCIUS!” Narcissa yelled getting to her feet.   
“Tell her Lucius!” You yelled, you wand prepared for any more spells. It wasn’t long before you watched Rowel slink away, leaving Lucius standing alone. “Tell your wife how you don’t believe her or your son.”   
“Experiamus!” He yelled again, your wand waving the spell off into the air again but not without sending you stepping back. You knew that if he weren’t still recovering from being in Azkaban he may have easily overpowered you. As Lucius lifted his want again a voice from behind you spoke, sending Lucius’ wand flying into her hand. Narcissa stood tall, holding his wand tight in her grasp. You tried hard not to gasp.   
“Narcissa” Lucius spoke.   
“I knew you had gone mad Lucius” her voice sounded hurt.   
“What is going on?” You heard Draco’s voice from the hallway behind you.   
“Nothing.” Narcissa glared at her husband. “Draco. Please go with y/n to her place.”   
“Have you apperated with someone before?” You asked Draco as you grabbed his hand.   
“Plenty of times” with his words you were gone, sucked away and into your bedroom.   
Draco stumbled heavily as you did, you held him upright.   
“What is going on?” He asked as his head stopped spinning.   
“Look” you gestured around you, your room had seemingly been destroyed, furniture flipped and broken. Draco’s face sat flat, his eyes skimming the room.   
“He did this” he said, more than asking.   
“You should see the down stairs” you sighed, leaving him standing in the middle of the room. “They were looking for me”   
Draco didn’t speak, instead he walked around the room. While you had spent plenty of time in his room, he had never been in yours. It was unfortunate this was how he would see it.   
You waved your wand, moving so the things in the room closely resembled and brought themselves back together.   
“Oh wow” Draco couldn’t help but be amazed by you.   
“Basic housekeeping spell” you grinned. 

“Tell me what happened” Draco spoke again as you led him into the living room, fixing what you could piece by piece.   
“When I got home this morning they were here. In the living room ripping through things. It seems when they didn’t find me they moved to looking at the stuff here” you took a few books into your hand, putting them back on the shelf by hand.   
“Why?” He asked   
“Your father still believes we’re lying about my abilities. So he brought Rowel with him to no doubt kidnap me… I don’t think he expected me to fight back how I did” Draco leaned over, grabbing a few papers into his hands. “I’m sorry Draco” you sighed again, seeing his face and how conflicted he seemed.   
“Why are you apologizing? My father did this” he set the stack on a near by table as it rolled back into its rightful place. The papers flew up, setting themselves high on a bookshelf in the corner.   
“Because your family is already dealing with enough without fighting over me”   
“Clearly the majority of us are on your side” he sat down on the couch. As you spoke your record player found it’s home, replacing the same record it had been playing for days into the track. The music rolling into the air.  
“You shouldn’t have to” you joined him on the couch, watching ad the rest of the room filed back into its place.   
“Look at me” Draco pulled your face to look at him “you have done more for me these last few months than that man has done for me in years. You trusted me with your deepest secret and saved me from the hell that man made me live”   
“Draco” you couldn’t help but smile at him, though he was so absolutely serious. “I have to tell you something” 

“So you heard everything?” He leaned against the back of the couch.   
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you then” you still sat beside him, but sitting forward. “If it wasn’t for what you told her I would have,”   
You only finally felt relief as he smiled, his gray eyes catching yours. “I’m not the one who told my mother they were in love with me” you felt your face turn hot red instantly.   
“Don’t be silly” you stood, walking to the record player. You realigned the needle as it fell away, putting it back onto the same place you knew your favorite song was. “We’ve only been together a few months”   
“Say it then” he was standing behind you now “say you don’t love me”   
You turned to face him, ready to lie. But once you saw his face, the way his lips laid flat and his eyes watched you. You couldn’t lie.   
“I’m scared” you spoke finally, which was clearly not the answer he was expecting. His brow furrowed.   
“Of me?” He asked  
“Of course not.” You swallowed hard “I’m scared of what loving you means”  
“Just kiss me” he smiled “you silly girl”   
You felt relief in his kiss, everytime he touched you you knew it more. That you were absolutely, and completely in love with him.   
He pulled you back to the couch now, pulling you onto him.   
“Say it” he whispered as he pulled from your kiss, his eyes closed. You felt like you couldn’t breath. “Please” he begged.   
“I love you. Draco Malfoy. It’s ridiculous, and foolish, and dangerous. But I love you”   
He didn’t speak, he didn’t say a single thing. Instead he kissed you, so hard you knew that even if he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He loved you too.


	20. Christmas at the Manor

“I wonder if I should go back,” Draco sighed as you pulled your clothes back on.   
“Maybe we should write… Just to make sure it’s safe?” you straightened your nighty as you rolled it back into place.   
“Perhaps you’re right… Can I borrow some parchment?” he stood, taking his jacket into his hands.   
“I am running really low, I need to make a trip to Diagon Alley but here” you handed a small piece of paper out to him. “Just send Nimbus with this”  
“Nimbus?” he smiled taking the paper into his hand.  
“I named her when I was 11, leave me alone” 

Draco gently pat Nimbus on the head as he handed her the paper.   
“To Malfoy manor please” you smiled as he did, her small head leaning into his hand. You both watched her from the kitchen window as she took off.   
“I have to be honest, it’s nice being somewhere other than school and home. I feel like I don’t get to go anywhere much” Draco sat down on a nearby chair.   
“I can imagine it’s hard. Though that manor of your is absolutely massive, I am sure you have plenty of hiding places”  
“I do, doesn’t make it any less boring”  
“Well boring is not the word I could explain for the manor, I get how it can get that way”   
“That's why I was so excited to see you the other night, you make life a lot less lonely”  
“You’re going soft of me Mr. Malfoy” you chuckled, rummaging through the house. “I need to get dressed, come on” you gestured for him to follow you.   
Draco watched from your bed as he watched you change, smiling as you hummed.   
“You really seem to like that song”   
“Stevie Nicks is the best”  
“Who?”  
“Oh boy, do I have things to show you”

You were playing him some music when Nimbus came back, neither of you had really noticed how long she had been gone. 

Darling,   
You can come home now. We can talk about what happened, and whats going on.  
-NM

You nodded, setting your hand on his ready to leave when he kissed you, his lips gentle on your skin. “Can you say it again?” he asked  
You shook your head, laughing a little. “I love you, you prat”   
You snapped you both back to the Manor, settling yourselves into the dining room.   
“Let me know?” you asked as he pulled away from you.   
“Stay, this has to do with you as much as it does me” He insisted, running his hand on your arm. “Mother?” he called into the silence of the manor. You hadn’t really noticed how badly it echoed. Thank goodness for silencing charms.   
Narcissa and Lucius walked into the room, you couldn’t help but clench your fist as you saw him. Though he didn’t seem to have the same face he had before.   
“Kids” Narcissa smiled, Lucius’ face rolling into a smile also. You could tell you weren’t the only one caught off guard Draco was just as stiff as you were. “Lucius, darling, would you go ask the elves to make us lunch?” Lucius nodded, not looking at you again as he walked by you.   
“I think it’s best if we don’t talk about this morning again. If that’s alright with you y/n” Narcissa spoke as he walked to you and Draco.   
“Mother… how did you…?” Draco asked  
“Memory charm darling, as far as your father knows now. Y/n is just your girlfriend.” Narcissa explained, her voice incredibly nonchalant.   
You and Draco just watched one another, you had a feeling he was thinking something similar to you, she talked about moving Lucius’ mind around so easily you couldn’t help but wonder how often she did it, or who she did it to.   
“You’re going to have to teach me that one” you watched Narcissa as she sat in her normal place at the table.   
“Another time dear, now” she brushed off her skirt “Come sit, we will have lunch”

Lunch was actually quite nice, Draco chatted lightly with his parents. They asked another couple rounds of questions, innocent stuff really. Once you had all eaten you figured it was best to head home.   
“I should be going” you nodded, as you all stood. Draco looked at his mother, who simply nodded at you. Draco stood silently for a while, hoping maybe his parents would leave you alone in the room so he could say goodbye. Narcissa raised an eyebrow at you two, before taking Lucius’ arm and leaving the room.   
“Tonight?” Draco whispered, you just nodded. You imagined he would want you to come to him every night now that he knew you could. He kissed you quickly, a sweet and simple goodbye. “Say it” he spoke.  
“I love you” he smiled as you spoke, finally allowing you to step away from him and apparate home.   
\-------

Christmas came quicker than you expected, you felt a little silly wandering around the stores of London trying to find gifts. Draco was a rich kid, with parents willing to get him nearly everything he could want. So what on earth could you get him that he didn’t already have? You’d even written to Narcissa just to see if maybe she had any sort of suggestion. Even she admitted she was having a hard time thinking of gifts this year. One night you laid with Draco, and finally you had to ask.   
“I can’t think of a single thing to get you” you leaned into him.   
“I am more than content with what I have. I really don’t need you to give me anymore than you already have”   
“Well did you get me something?” You asked  
“Absolutely I did”   
“Well then I have to get you something now don’t i?”  
“Or” he kissed your shoulder softly “You could just come to me like you do every night. I am more than happy with having you as my gift” 

You dressed early christmas morning, deep green and long with tight to your skin. The front being in a subtle dip without being too much. You rolled your hair into a simple french twist, sliding on your usual red lip. You smiled at yourself as you looked in the mirror, you loved having a good excuse to dress up. You glanced at the clock on the wall of your bedroom, pulling your bags to your body.   
You once again, for what felt like the millionth time apperated to the Malfoy manor, but instead of coming in outside of the front door you just allowed yourself to appear inside of the dining room. You smiled as you looked at the massive dining room table which was decorated with candles, and a fine dish set. A massive tree stood in the corner, glistening with white lights and lovely and simple ornaments. You let yourself walk over, smiling at the small frames sitting on the fireplace as you stopped there. Stills of Draco’s life with his family, things from before life really got hard for them. You felt a little sadness as you watched a moving photo of Draco in first year Hogwarts robes. The look of happiness in his eyes was something you hadn’t seen since his 4th year, before it all began.   
“Ahh Y/n” you heard a voice from behind you, you turned from the fireplace and looked as Lucius Malfoy walked into the room. “Happy Christmas” he nodded, setting things down on the table.   
“Happy Christmas” you nodded, it still was hard getting used to Lucuius being even the slightest bit welcoming. Considering less than a week ago he was trying to kidnap you. You couldn’t help but stiffen as he walked beside you, looking at the same photos you had just been smiling at.   
“My wife seems to think you’re good for our Draco” he spoke.   
“I’d like to think we’re good for one another” you looked back to the photos. “How old was he here” you tried desperately to change the subject.   
“He was 3 I believe” he took the photo onto his hand. “She also believes you’re in love with him” he spun the conversation back to where it had been. You sighed, it seems Draco did get something from his father aside from his beautiful nearly white hair, his ability to always talk about what he wanted to.   
“He means a lot to me”   
“Why now?” he asked, setting the photo back down.   
“I’m sorry?”  
“You have known Draco since he started school. I am just curious why now” You could feel him looking at you.   
“In all honesty Mr. Malfoy, I don’t know. I won’t lie and say we were friends before, because he was a bit of a git. This year I think it was our ability to relate to one another that brought us together”  
“And us asking for you to mentor him as well, I assume” he spoke  
“That as well, you played a decent role in bringing us together”   
“Do you believe he can do what has been asked of him?” You were shocked by this question more than the others.   
“I believe he can, and if he can’t. I will do what needs to be done” you looked directly to Lucius now.  
“Y/n” you heard a voice from behind the two of you in the room. Draco stood in one of his perfect black suites. His brow furrowed, his mother standing not too far behind him.   
“Draco, Narcissa,” Lucius said, leaving you standing alone at the fireplace. You couldn’t help but feel maybe Lucius was trying to set you up. A test he didn’t expect you to pass.   
“Happy Christmas” you spoke, biting the inside of your cheek.   
“Happy Christmas dear” Narcissa smiled, relieving a little of the tension. You looked to Draco, whose face was flat and speckled with his usual sadness.   
“Hi” you smiled at him. Hoping maybe he’d melt a little at the edges. And luckily he did,   
“Hi.”   
Narcissa looked between you, walking over bridging the gap between you and the Malfoy family.   
“You look stunning” She smiled, giving you a soft hug. You held her back, looking over her shoulder to Draco something in his face, seeming unsure. How long had they been standing there? Clearly long enough. “I see you brought gifts” she looked at the small handful of bags in your hand.   
“I did” you nodded, holding them out to her. “I have to admit, I am terrible at giving gifts, but I got you all a little something anyway” She smiled at you as she took the bags into her hand, bringing them over and setting them with the pile of gifts that already sat there. You could almost convince yourself that this whole thing was how their life was, a shining tree and beautiful table settings. That the death of Draco by the end of the year wasn’t a haunting possibility.   
Draco finally walked to you, pulling you into his arms.   
“Happy Christmas” he whispered, you finally could breathe as he held you letting yourself lean into his chest.   
“Happy Christmas” 

It was only a few hours into the day, but you knew even then that this was the best christmas you had had in a long time. Narcissa had the elves make you all drinks, allowing for you and Draco to drink some of their finer honey meades.   
“Why don’t we open gifts” Narcissa spoke, sitting close to Lucuius who even though he remained straight faced at all times, seemed to actually be enjoying himself. You just leaned back on the couch, more than ready to watch as Draco opened his pile of gifts.   
Narcissa came back in the room with a few things in her hands, handing Draco and box. It wasn't until she held a box out to you that you realized that this wasn’t going to be that.   
“You really didn’t think we would invite you to Christmas and not get you gifts?” Narcissa spoke as she saw your face. You shook your head.   
“No, I’m sorry I just..” you pulled the box to your lap. “It’s been a couple years since I have gotten a christmas gift, I think I just forgot how to react. Thank you”   
“Wait, really?” Draco asked, setting his own gift on his lap.   
It was as if Narcissa could sense your discomfort, not wanting to go more into the conversation, because she insisted you just open your gifts.   
You pulled open the black box, a beautiful black quill sitting in a gentle shear wrapping.   
“It’s an enchanted quill,” Narcissa explained as you pulled it from the box. Draco pulled a similar quill from his box. “Now you two can write on a single parchment, and quit running our owls ragged with your constant letters.”   
You had to take a deep breath, then swallow trying not to think about it too hard or else you may just cry.   
“Thank you Narcissa, really, this is more than I could have imagined” you placed it back in the box.   
“Well” her face may have been flat, but you could see the smile in her eyes “That’s wonderful, because we're not nearly done yet”  
You could barely breathe as Narcissa had the elves bring you a few more gifts. From a beautiful black robe, to a book about dark magic.   
“If you take that to Hogwarts with you, use a masking spell for the cover. Because that is definitely not allowed” Lucius was smirking to himself.   
One of the smaller elves came in, holding your gifts in its hands. Handing them to each of the Malfoy family whose names lay on the bag. If it had been only you and Draco sitting there, you would have thanked the elf, but you knew better with his parents sitting there.   
Narissa opened her first, Draco waited obviously curious what in the world you could have gotten for his parents. She pulled out a piece of paper, unholding it and reading it.   
“It's a trip to my parents island off the coast of Greece.” you smiled as she skimmed the words. “I figured you two could use a weekend away. I couldn’t think of much else” you admitted.   
“No, y/n this is perfection” Narcissa looked over the few photos you had included.   
“It’s under a family alias name as well, so no one will bother you”   
You glanced over at Draco as he pulled a similar piece of paper out of his bag.   
“Wait” he shook his head, “Salem?” he asked.   
“Yeah” you smiled “America remember? Where my family coven is from. For this summer…” everyone in the room was looking at you now, their faces still. You knew what they had to be thinking, how could you be planning for the summer when you didn’t even know if Draco would make it through the year? But considering what they had heard when you stood with Lucius at the fireplace, they should know you were determined to make it to summer, with Draco alive and well. The silence was disrupted by an elf coming in with one last gift, a thin black velvet box.   
He handed it to you, you flipped over the small tag.   
To; Y/n   
Love, Draco.   
You bit you lip hard at the word. Grasping as the perfect straws of it. You’d be keeping this small piece of paper for everything it was worth. You opened the box, smiling at the perfect silver chair with a small snake pendant no bigger than a five pence. You touched it gently, Draco had absolutely perfect taste. You knew you had seen the same pendent before, but for some reason you couldn’t place it.   
“Draco, this is lovely” you had been so lost in the gift you hadn’t realized his parents had left the two of you alone in the room.He remained silent as you clasped the necklace around your neck.   
“You really think I am going to make it to the summer” he said finally.   
“You know I do” you touched the pendant as it got warm from your skin.   
“I think you might be the only one” his face was sad, as you imagined anyone’s would be if their own parents expected them dead in a few short months.   
“As long as I am alive, Draco Mafloy. You will be”   
You raised your eyebrow at him as you pulled the small gift tag from the box.   
“Love, Draco” you read outloud. He shook his head, rolling his eyes at you. He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.   
You were snogging for just a few moments as people suddenly started smoking into the room. Why on earth were they here?   
“Malfoy, Y/L/N, meeting. Now.” Grayback spoke as you pulled away from one another. You and Draco gathered both of your gifts, rushing to put them into his room. You walked into the dining room, the presents of death eaters somehow dimming the once perfect look of the lavish room. You crossed your legs as you sat in your seat, watching as Draco walked back in taking his own seat next to his father. The Dark Lord was standing at the end of the table before long.   
“We have some intel saying we know where Harry Potter is” he said “Bellatrix, Grayback and Y/l/n, you will go and assess who is guarding him. Y/l/n, you will try and recognize anyone you can along with Bellatrix”   
“Yes my lord” you agreed, looking at Draco across the table, his fist was clenched on the table that's when you saw it. The same snake that now sat so perfect on your neck, in the form of a silver ring on his hand. 

The meeting ended quickly, people would wait here to have another meeting after your new mission which would be taking place in just a couple hours when the sun went down.  
“Did he have to do this tonight?” Draco whispered as he pulled you away into his room.   
“I presume it’s the only night they knew the whole order would be together” you took his hand, running your thumb over his ring. “You’re absolutely hopeless, you know that Draco Malfoy”   
“You’re changing the subject” he sighed, clearly annoyed at the mission that lay before you.   
“I love you” you pulled his hand to your face.   
He laughed, holding your face now. “Damn you”


	21. I need to kill something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw; blood and graphic images

As the sun set, you and Draco walked back down the stairs.   
“Lets get going Y/N” Bellatrix waved, clearly impatient and always hoping for blood. Draco leaned in before you left, clearly not caring about all the eyes in the room and kissing you quickly. Suggesting in fact he was worried you may not come back.   
You could see his face as you smoked out, while he had seen you apparate plenty of times, he had never seen you use what you playfully called The Death Eater smoke.   
You followed Bellatrix and Greyback and they floated through the sky, you had no idea where you were going but they clearly did.   
You landed into a swamp like thicket, you pulled your dress high so it wouldn’t sit too far into the much of the ground below you. You had to admit you were a little annoyed you hadn’t changed before leaving.  
“Stay here, I will lure them out,” Bellatrix instructed. You and Greyback waited behind in the tall marsh grass.   
“Fucking a Malfoy” Greyback scoffed “You think with your power you could have done better”   
“Mind your business, Fenrir” you snapped, not looking over at him.   
“Fine, Y/L/N” he seemed to huff “Just don’t expect any mercy from us if he fails”   
Before you could speak again, you saw the fire. Hearing Bellatrix as she started screaming.  
“Harry!” you heard a voice yell  
“GINNY!” Another screamed.  
“I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK, I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK” Bellatrix screamed as she ran through the thicket. Her feet seemed to barely touch the ground.   
Ginny Wealsey ran just in front of you as she waged through the weeds. Her robe settled into the wet ground around her. Her red hair dampened but her wand tight in her grasp. While you slinked away deeper into the dark, which you understood to be the mission, Greyback walked out into a foot path making himself visible to Ginny in the clearing she stood in. You looked back and forth between Ginny and Greyback clenching your wand tightly. You had no idea why you wanted so badly to step between them, Ginny was a blood trader just like the rest of her family. You heard her breathing shake as she tried to back away from him. Before you could move at all Harry Potter ran through the water around her and yelled a spell toward Fenrir. He avoided it with ease, deflecting it ,but instead of deflecting it completely it hit your shoulder tearing at the skin there. You winched hard, bringing your hand to the gash in your skin. Fenrir didn’t seem to notice as he smoked out quickly.  
You ran then, trying desperately to stay out of sight of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley but also avoiding running into anyone else from their group who may make their way into the weeds, holding your open flesh as blood ran hot down your arm. You thought for a split second they may have seen you when both their eyes looked directly at you, causing you to dip further into the darkness you had lingering behind you.   
It was then you heard Remus Lupin scream Harry’s name, his voice closer than before. That's when Bellatrix lost her patients, starting to fire at Harry and Ginny as they stood alone on this small mossy island. Grayback joining her of course, you however just watched. Doing what was actually asked of you by trying to make out faces, not killing.   
You just barely ducked away as Arthur Weasley called his daughters name, joining them on their island in the muddy sea. You analyzed each face, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Arthur Weasley, Ginny Weasley, and Harry Potter.   
Bellatrix made an audible hissing noise, commanding you all to smoke away. As you pulled into the sky like a lethal fog Greyback and Bellatrix flew to what you assume was the Weasley burrow, catching it in flames. You clenched your body as you flew around them, adding to your list of faces. Molly Weasley, Ron Weasley, George Weasley, and Fred Weasley all stood around what was now the burning structure of their home. 

You stammered into the Malfoy manor, your now completely filthy dress dragging on the perfect hardwood floor.   
“ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME GREYBACK?!” You screamed as you held together the weeping flesh of your shoulder.   
“Maybe get out of the way next time” he smirked. The rest of the death eaters seemed shocked by your willingness to scream at Greyback. No doubt surprised you’d speak to a werewolf in such a way.   
“The mission was to see who was there, you filthy fucking mongrel”   
Draco was on you then, pulling you away from Greyback who just smiled at you.   
“IF IT WASN’T FOR THE DARK LORD I WOULD FUCKING KILL YOU” you screamed again as Draco tried despretly to pull you from the room. The rage in your body fueling you even as you began to stammer from the loss of blood.   
“Well done Malfoys” Greyback scoffed “you landed your pathetic son a far too worthy bitch” you released your wound, ready to hex Greyback before The Dark Lord appeared.   
“Y/N” he stopped your words. Your body shakes aggressively. “Go” he waved you away, you turned pushing past Draco and back into the parlor. Screaming as loudly as you could manage, your voice cracking as you did.   
“Baby” Draco reached for you, put you pushed his hand away.   
“I need to kill something” you were pacing in the room.   
“Let me heal you, you’ll bleed out before you can do anything” Draco’s face was serious and even a little worried. You felt your head start to wave as you leaned onto the couch. You nodded, digging your fingers into the soft leather of the cushion. Draco waved his wand over your shoulder, but it didn’t seem to be pulling your skin back together.   
“I need to get my mother. Sit.” he moved you to the couch, as your face started to turn white. Your vision turning to blackness, the adrenaline that had been keeping you conscious wearing away. 

You opened your eyes as the light seeped into the room. You lifted your hand to your shoulder, a deep scar now lingering on what was your perfect skin. You were grateful when you felt the necklace metal still clinging to your skin. You sat up, looking around the room it was Draco’s but he wasn’t there. You noticed a sling on the chair beside the bed, trying to move your arm it had little to no motion in it. You pulled away the covers, noticing you now wore one of Draco’s shirts and nothing else. He must have carried you here when you finally fell unconscious. It took you longer to stand then you wanted to admit, your head still a little fuzzy from all the blood you lost. You wavered your way to his bathroom, pulling the collar of the shirt over to really look at the wound on your skin. It was pink now, healed clearly by someone with a lot of experience, Narcissa you assumed. Though even the best of healers could not replace the obvious missing muscle and flesh. Harry was obviously incredibly powerful if he had managed to nearly blow your arm off with a deflected spell. You consider yourself lucky it had only hit your shoulder, and not even a little more to the right.   
You looked down to your feet, which were still incredibly dirty. You shook your head, you had gotten into Draco’s bed like this? Gross.   
You turned and looked at his shower, figuring it was more than okay with you just cleaning away some of the dirt from your skin.   
You sighed as the hot water flowed over you, letting it hot hard on the skin of your shoulder. Trying hard to pretend maybe it would all go back to normal, though you knew it never would. You smiled as you washed your hair, no wonder Draco always smelt of mint. His shampoo alone smelt so deeply of teatree it made you feel fresh. It was hard to wash your hair with one arm, but you made it work.   
You finally let yourself leave the hot shower, finding a towel in a nearby cabinet.   
You pulled the shirt back on your body. Peaking out into the room before stepping into it, you weren’t sure what to do until you saw a dress folded on the top of the dresser. As you pulled it from the top a dainty lace set fell from the bundle. You blushed a little wondering who had been in your clothes at home.   
You pulled the clothes onto your body, while the underwear was yours. The dress was new, but sat perfectly on your body. Draco luckily had a brush on his vanity.   
You opened the door to his room, listening into the hallway. It Manor seemed empty, though it was later into the next morning.   
It wasn’t until you walked into the kitchen you saw Narcissa, sipping on a cup of tea.   
“Y/n” she spoke when she saw you “You’re awake. Draco is in the library”   
“Did you heal me?” You asked  
“I did the best I could, I am sorry dear I fear you may have that scar forever”  
“I guessed that much.” you nodded “Thank you for healing me”   
“Did Harry potter really do that to you?” She asked.   
“He’s stronger than I expected” you moved your arm only slightly in your sling.   
“So I hear, the dark lord will speak to you tonight about who was there last night.” she nodded.   
“I should go find Draco now then, ” as you turned to leave she spoke again.   
“Can you actually come sit with me for a second?” She asked. You walked over, sitting next to her at the island. “You said yesterday that if my son can not do his mission, you would take it from him”   
“I fully intend on doing whatever I have to to make sure he survives”   
She held out her hand to you, the light lingering scars laced around her fingers. The markings of an unbreakable curse.   
“Snape and I have an agreement” she spoke as you looked at her hand. “He will protect Draco with his life, I had to make him swear to believe him” she nodded “I need you to know, I believe you without one”   
You looked up from her hand and to her now, catching her eyes as she watched you.   
“Because it seems you’re the only other person in this merlin forsaken world that wants Draco to live as much as I do”  
“I love him, Mrs. Malfoy. I will kill anyone for him without a second thought”   
“He thought you died last night” she explained “When we came back in the room and you weren’t responding. I haven't seen him cry since was a child until last night”   
“I should go to him then” you stood ready to walk away when her words made you stop.  
“I would like you to marry my son” you turned back to her, convinced in the moment you had imagined what she said. “After this is all over” she continued, just confirming she had in fact spoken. “That is what I wanted to speak to you about when you turn 18”   
“Well, Mrs. Mafloy” you spoke finally “If I can ask anything” you swallowed hard “Let him make that decision for himself. Without having to be told?”   
“Hm” she laughed a little “Alright” you left as she nodded. 

“Draco?” you spoke as you walked into the library where Draco was reading.. His eyes shot up from the book, he stood then nearly knocking over the desk he was sitting at. “Wooh, you’re okay” you giggled as he steadied the desk.   
“You’re awake” he walked over to you.   
“Wow, really?” you giggled at him, “Good job Sherlock”   
“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes at you.   
“What are you reading?” you looked around him.   
“Just looking for the best way to kill a werewolf”   
“I love you” you laughed. 

The meeting that night was short, you sat now not in your usual seat but the one next to Draco and Lucius. You had taken off your sling before the meeting, leaving it in Draco’s room so you could give off the impression you were back to normal. Though you were far from, having little to no motion in your left arm.   
“Y/L/N” The Dark Lord spoke, looking at you. “List of names”  
“All the usual people. No one new My Lord. Ginny, Molly, Arthur, Fred, George, and Ron Weasley. Remus and Nymphadora Lupin, and Harry Potter”   
“And it was Harry Potter's spell that hit you?” he asked.   
“It was a spell meant for Greyback, my lord, deflected and hit me. Yes” you nodded.   
“I see,” he nodded. “Come stand by me” he waved for you. You stood, pushing the chair back with your good hand. You stood at the head of the table with the dark lord, standing tall. The dress the Malfoy’s had provided for you hiding away the massive scar on your arm. “Mind showing the table what Potters spell did?”   
“Of course my Lord” you reached back, pulling away a little at the zipper of the dress just enough to show your nearly destroyed shoulder to the table. Eyes went wide all around, including Greybacks who clearly hadn’t realized how severe the blow had been.   
“Now this” The Dark Lord spoke, his arm on your skin now. “This is what dedication looks like. She was manmed in the mission. And yet came back here ready for blood” he was laughing now. “Now Y/n, while I can’t give you blood. I can give you a taste. Greyback” he spoke, looking to the werewolf sitting at the table. “Stand” Greyback stood, obeying orders. “Y/n” The Dark Lord smiled. “The Cruiciatus curse”   
You tried hard not to smile as Greyback's face fell. Without having to hear another word you spoke, your wand pointing directly at Greyback. The unforgivable curse flowing from your mouth with ease. You watched as Greyback crumbled to the ground his screams are a hard and echoing howl, yet your spell was unwavered. Your heart is bounding nearly out of your chest.   
“Enough” The Dark Lord spoke, yet you kept your wand pointing at Greyback, watching as he curled into himself. You were only stopped when The Dark Lord touched your arm. You lowered your hand slowly.   
“Sorry My Lord” you swallowed hard.   
“It was wonderful Y/L/N, please take your seat” You watched as Greyback was carried from the room. A sick satisfaction sitting in your stomach. You sat in your seat next to Draco, who sat completely straight in his seat. You were worried maybe you’d taken it too far until his hand met your knee under the table, squeezing your skin. 

“Good night Death eaters!” And with The Dark Lord's final words he was gone, the rest of the death eaters phasing out or walking out of the back door disappearing into the darkness of the woods behind the manor.   
You stayed sitting in your seat as everyone moved around, the idea of going back to your empty and completely unprotected home after what had just happened hadn’t crossed your mind at all until just now. You could imagine the retaliation if Greyback decided he was angry enough, the last thing you wanted was to become another one of Greybacks were victims.   
Your foot was tapping away as you thought about it, now nervous in your seat. You had to find a way to ward off your home and make it safe enough to sleep in.   
“Y/n” Narcissa noticed as you hadn’t moved.   
“Sorry” you stood, holding your arm to your body. She watched you for a second, clearly able to sense your anxieties. She leaned into you as you went to walk into the next room.   
“I wager if someone were to make their way upstairs before Lucius and I went to bed. They would be safer here than going home” she didn’t look at you as she spoke, just looking forward. You also didn’t look at her, making your way from the room and to the next. Draco walked out of the library as you did, meeting you in the hallway. Before he could speak you grabbed his hand, pulling him in the direction of his bedroom.   
“Y/n” he started speaking before you shot him a look, basically telling him to stay quiet. He complied, not speaking again until you were standing alone in his bedroom with the door closed tight and locked. “What are you doing?” he asked finally.  
“Your mother may have hinted if someone wanted to be here. That they should be in your room before her and Lucius went to bed”   
“You’re scared Greyback will come for you now” he nodded, only confirming he along with his mother, thought the same thing you did. You nodded, unsure if you even felt right speaking out the words.   
“Well then you will stay here until we go back to school”   
You figured it was too good to be true, until the next morning and the next morning and the next when even Lucius didn’t bat an eye when he saw you in the kitchen in the mornings or walking away up the stairs with Draco after meetings at night which you could only assume was the workings of Narcissa. Who would nod at you every morning, make you a cup of coffee and carry on a normal conversation as if you had always been there. Even Bellatrix wouldn’t glance twice, yet you made a point of avoiding her. The dark lord was more than aware you were sure of the relationship that had happened between you and Draco. But he didn’t seem to care. Narcissa had mentioned once she thought it was because he thought you were a good influence on Draco, a motivation to do the task ahead.


	22. Stay

You still had little to no motion in your arm when you returned to Hogwarts after break. Draco of course made it more than known he wanted to rip Harry Potter apart for nearly destroying your arm, it took many hours of coaxing him down to convince him not to break Harry Potter's nose once again.  
You had to bite your tongue every time Potter would talk. You had only seemed to match Draco’s disdain for him after Harry, although completely unintentionally, nearly cost you your arm.  
You had done your best hiding it until the day Slughorn asked you to help her move a few things around the classroom. You stood, trying your hardest to lift them without wincing. Giving Draco a look to stay seated.  
It wasn’t until you felt a deep pain that you let a large glass beaker fall to the ground startling everyone who watched. Shattering into a million pieces around the room. Draco stood, his shoes crackling on the glass as he made his way to you.  
“Merlin's beard y/l/n,” Slughorn exclaimed as you grasped at your shoulder.  
The class all watched as Draco pulled you from the room, not speaking as he did. He took you back to your room, watching you as you struggled to pull away your robe. He went to you his hands, unbuttoning your shirt, leaving you standing in your tank top. As you pulled the fabric from your shoulder he gasped, it had been a few days since he had seen it considering you did your best to hide it from him.  
The skin was no longer just light pink with scarring, but deep purple with green and yellow mixed in to make the more gruesome shade of bruising.  
“Y/N” he could barely speak. “We need to take you to Madam Pomfree. Now” you winched again as you touched it, clearly something was wrong even more so than you thought. You waved your wand over your mark, hiding it away hopefully long enough to get your shoulder delt with.  
You sighed, he was right of course. You couldn’t bring yourself to pull your robe completely on, instead just laying it over your shoulders to walk to the influmary.  
Of course as you did the hallways filled with people, Draco did his best to make you a path but that didn’t stop people from bumping into you as they shuffled through the hallway.  
“Malfoy!” Someone yelled from behind you, of course causing all eyes to turn to you. Just as they did someone met your shoulder hard, making the latch on your robe fall, exposing your arm to the entire packed hallway.  
“Fuck” you groaned, holding your arm tight to your body. All eyes were no longer looking at Draco and you, or even you really, just the hideous wound on your body. Pansy’s eyes were wide as she walked to you being the one who had called to Draco. You couldn’t hold the anguished noises that escaped your mouth or the tears that pricked your eyes. Draco moved faster than you’d ever seen him, ripping his own robe from his shoulders and throwing it around you rushing you away from all the prying eyes in the hallway. People divided as he rushed you away, though you knew he would kill anyone who stood in your way for too long.  
You were grinding your teeth as you walked to Madam Pomfree at her desk, tears rolling down your cheeks without your consent. Draco told her you had an accident over the break and needed someone to look at it. When she asked you to pull away the cloak she obviously didn't expect to see what she did. You unlatched his robe, letting the cloth fall into Draco’s waiting hands. Madam Pomfree gasped as she saw it, confirming how bad you figured it really was.  
You winched every time she touched it, talking quickly about having to probably rebuild the entire shoulder if that was even possible. Along with stopping all the internal bleeding that had occurred causing the bruising.  
“You need to tell me what happened,” She insisted.  
“I need to talk to Professor Snape” was all you would say as she demanded to speak to you. She looked at Draco, who nodded and left.  
Madam Pomfree was fixing things when Snape walked in with Draco. His eyes grew wide as he saw you.  
“Severus” Madam Pomfree sighed as he walked to her desk. He simply whispered something to her, making her watch you. Then nod.  
“It may take me a few days to regrow the muscle she's missing” she insisted.  
“Then I will bring her the potions in her room. Ms. Y/L/N is nearly done with the year and can’t afford to miss any classes.” While you knew what Snape was trying to do, he also knew that that is not why you couldn;t be stuck in the infirmary. You had a mission that needed to be done. And fast.  
“I at least need to keep her the night. So I can stop the internal bleeding” she was really putting her feet down.  
“I need a shirt” you said, knowing you can’t hide your mark all night.  
“Here” Draco said, quickly removing his own, only to quickly throw his robe over his body before Madam Pomfree could see anything.  
You hated being in the infirmary, people could walk in and out as they pleased.  
The potions Madam Pomfree was giving you made your body sweat, and left you feeling somehow every worse than when you had started. She insisted it was all the blood you had lost returning to the muscles she was rebuilding in your arm.  
“I hate it here” you whispered as Madam Pomfree walked away again, sweat rolling down your face “But I love the view” you tried to crack a joke watching Draco as he sat with his robe sitting open in the chair next to you.  
“Good” he grinned, leaning toward you “Keep distracting me so I don’t get up and repay Potter for what he did to you”  
“Ooooo” you smiled as the painkillers Madam Pomfree gave you started kicking in, making your head sway a little “Big ol tough guy” you giggled.  
One thing you hated most about the infirmary was that anyone could walk in, and boy did they seem to be coming in tonight. Student after student rolling into the room to ask for petty things, like stomach medication and things to help them sleep. You whined a little as Draco pulled his robe closed avoiding prying eyes.  
“When you’re better my love” he whispered “I will show you much more than that”  
You found yourself nodding off as you nodded, sliding down into the blankets of bed, you were just barely awake when Draco kissed your forehead softly. 

“Mr. Longbottom would you mind sitting with Miss. Y/L/N she will be waking up soon but I don’t want her leaving until I can talk to Professor Snape.” you just heard her speak as you felt yourself waking up.  
“Of course” you heard Neville reply, then took the chair Draco had been sitting in just the night before. You figured he had been sent away when curfew was called. You stretched your body as much as it could manage.  
“Good morning” Neville spoke, you opened your eyes.  
“Hey Longbottom” you tried to sit up, but quickly failed.  
“Here” Neville leaned over, helping you to sit up. “How are you?” he asked  
“Sore. I thought she was supposed to fix me but I feel worse”  
“She said she’s regrowing your muscles. It hurts” he nodded, leaning back away from you.  
“Got any herbs that will help me not feel it?” you laughed, leaning heavy on the back of the bed.  
“Not anything that won’t knock you back out” he admitted.  
“Damn. I am sick of sleeping, I think I will just deal” you sighed.  
“Is it really as bad as everyone says?” he was curious, not that you could blame him. You were sure people were talking. You pulled over the shoulder of Draco’s shirt, showing Neville the skin there. His jaw dropping, nearly gasping.  
“Sorry” he cleared his throat, trying hard not the stare “What happened?” he asked.  
“Remember last term when you said to stop talking before I said something I didn’t want you to hear?”  
“Yeah…” he just shook his head “Being evil again?” he smiled.  
“Of course I am” you laughed a little.  
“She said you could have lost you arm you know”  
“I know” you sighed, you figured as much considering you had started losing feeling in your fingers.  
“I bet it feels crazy, having so muscle I mean”  
“It does, come here” you reached for his hand, lifting it to rest on your shoulder, placing his thumb just above your collarbone.  
“Wow” he spoke as he felt there, his hand consuming your shoulder nearly completely.  
You looked over as Snape coughed, Draco standing next to him. Neville pulled his hand back to him quickly, standing.  
“Hey baby” you smiled at Draco, whose face was far from amused.  
“You can leave Longbottom” Draco scowled.  
“Right” he stood, towering over you now “Feel better y/n” he smiled down at you.  
“She’ll be fine,” Draco snapped. Neville just nodded at him, leaving the room.  
“You are fine to go back to your room Y/L/N” Snape spoke, handing you a bottle of the awful potion you had to take. The same one that made you sweat like it had.  
“Ugh, how long do I have to drink this stuff?” you tried to stand. Your body resisting you. Draco, even though he didn’t speak walked over and helped you stand. Pulling his shirt back over your shoulder, putting it up for you and buttoning it.  
“Just this one for today. Then another for a week or until the muscles grow back. Had you come to us sooner it wouldn’t have been so bad.” Snape rolled his eyes.  
“Well, I wasn’t aware it wasn’t that bad” you leaned heavily on Draco as you spoke. Snape handed him the potion.  
“Take her and make her stay in bed. I don’t care what room she's in. You’re both excused from classes just for today.”  
“Thank you professor” you nodded. Walking with a Draco back to his room, even though he seems reluctant at first.  
You let out a sigh as you rolled into his bed.  
“Are you going to tell me why you’re mad?” You asked as you sat up against his headboard.  
“You’re letting every guy touch you now or just Longbottom?” He spoke, making your jaw drop.  
“Excuse you?” You were shocked, you hadn’t even thought of it that way.  
“You heard me. I walk in the infirmary and catch Neville making all kinds of faces at you as he touched your arm. Disgusting if you ask me” he crossed his arms.  
“Listen to yourself” you shook your head at him. “You found mad”  
“First you kiss him to get back at me, now this?” you swallow hard, you had somehow let yourself forget what had happened with Neville last term. You thought maybe he had too, but clearly he didn’t. “It’s like you are trying to make me realize I am not good enough for you”  
“What are you even talking about?”  
“Just say it. Say you’re too good for me”  
“Stop”  
“No. Say it”  
“Please stop” you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat. He turned to you, when he had been facing away from you.  
“Why?” he asked  
“Because you’re sounding just like Matthew!” you yelled, tears escaping you instantly, but instead of holding them in you let them roll. “You should know by now how much I love you! You fucking git! Even if you can’t say it back to me, I am still here” you used all your strength to stand. “If you don’t believe me, than i should leave”  
You barely made it a few steps before learly falling to the ground, Draco’s arms catching you.  
“Stay” he whispered.  
“Why should I?” you pushed against him, trying hard to stand on your own feet. That fucking potion taking all the strength you had.  
“Because I love you”


	23. Fight or flight

You weren’t sure how you ended up there, standing close to the ledge of the astronomy tower looking over the lake and distant forest. You leaned all your weight in the railing, feeling the frozen metal on your skin. Your feet bare on the matching metal grates of the ground, had you walked here alone? How did you even manage when you couldn’t even hold yourself up.  
You had to pull at the flesh of your hand to take it away form the railing, as it seemed to have frozen there. Your vision was blacking in and out, what was real anymore? Were you sleeping? Was this all a dream?  
You couldn’t help your brain as it said “I wonder if I can fly”  
You pushed yourself from the railing then with all your strength, stammering to the ground. 

“Draco?” You just barely made out as you leaned into a chest, but you knew by the softness of it it wasn’t Draco. This chest was broader, and much more padded.  
“We found her” you heard Crabbe as the one who was carrying you.  
“She was at the astronomy tower” Astorias voice was close, but you didn’t open your eyes to see how close.  
“Put here here” Draco’s voice was flat.  
“Draco she's frozen” Astoria spoke again, her voice gentle.  
“Give her to me then” Crabbe handed you to him then. You breathed in heavily the sweet smell of mint, he was warm, not as much as Crabbe but better still. “I’m taking her to the prefect bathroom. Can you make sure no one comes in” Draco asked.  
“Of course” Astoria spoke, her feet pattering on the ground behind Draco as he carried you. Though not as easily as Crabbe did.  
“You found her” you recognized Theordores voice.  
“Where was she?” Blaise asked. Had Draco had all his friends looking for you? How long have you been gone?  
“Astronomy tower” Astoria whispered, “Crabbe thinks she was going to jump”  
You wanted to stop them from their whispering, while you didn’t know why you were there. You knew that wasn’t it, and you knew having them even speak it out that idea into Draco’s brain. 

Draco settled you down into the hot water of the bath, sweet flower scents filled your senses taking away his minty smell. Draco tried to hold you up from outside of the tub at first, clearly proving harder than he thought. You had just allowed your eyes to open as he pulled you to his bare chest.  
“Please tell me you weren’t going to jump” he whispered. You shook your head no, because as much as you tried words wouldn’t leave your body.  
You finally started getting feeling back in your skin as the water seeped into your muscles.  
“What happened?” You asked once your lungs warmed enough to manage the breaths.  
“I told you I loved you… and you walked away from me” he was staring straight forward, looking to nothing but the wall.  
“Why would I do that” you cradled your head still to him.  
“I was hoping you could tell me”  
You set your body enough to pull away from him, pulling his eyes to yours.  
“Can you say it again?” You asked.  
“Last time I said it you nearly froze to death”  
“Well I’m here now, please?”  
He swallowed hard, pushing your head to his chest. Pressing his face into your now wet hair.  
“I love you” he whispered so softly the sound of the water nearly drowned him out. You let out a sigh as the words moved around you.  
“I love you too” he let out a similar sigh. His arms wrapping around you.  
Neither of you spoke again, you just leaned into one another. Letting the hot water scare away the frost on your bones.  
Your moments of serenity were broken by a gentle knocking at the door.  
“That will be Astoria telling us it’s time to go” he ran his fingers over your arm “can you walk?”  
You nodded, reluctantly pulling away from him.  
“How many people did you have looking for me?” You asked as you pulled on the wet clothes you had been wearing.  
“Anyone I figured cared enough to look” he buttoned his shirt back into place “I even asked Neville”  
“You’re delusional, you know. He’s not my type” you smiled at him. “I’m into blondes”  
-  
You felt you answered every question a million times. Every time someone he had asked to look for you drilled you with their own needy words.  
“No I wasn’t going to jump” you sighed again as Theodore Nott crossed his arms at you.  
“Well you’d better not. You make Malfoy tolerable” he smiled  
“shove off ya prat” Draco hadn’t so much as stepped from your side since you got back to his room. And even now as you winched at the potion you had to take he refused to move.  
“You can go to dinner you know” you whispered to him as his friends gathered to leave the room. “I promise I won’t wander away to the astronomy tower while you’re gone”  
“I’m not going anywhere until we make sure it wasn’t this potion that made you wander away like that”  
“Can I talk to my boyfriend alone for a second?” You asked the crowed, who seemed to linger behind. Maybe they were just as worried as he was?  
“Sure” Crabbe nodded, leading everyone out.  
Once all wandered through the door you leaded into the head board.  
“I think I know what happened” you admited.  
“Wait really?” He asked, his arm resting on the bed.  
“I think our… fight, sent me over the edge. Like triggered my fight or flight or something”  
“Our fight” he nodded “you mean me yelling at you like he use to”  
“He used to scream at me. So loudly sometimes I wondered if it would pierce my ear drums. Then he’d apologize and tell me he loved me” you caught his eyes. “I was just tired is all, I’m sure had I not had to sleep in that bloody infirmary all night I would have yelled back”  
“I’m -“ before he could finish you touched his lips with your hand.  
“Again with that word Malfoy” you let your hand settle to his cheek “now go eat. I’ll be here when you get back”  
“I’ll bring you back something” he stood, leaning in to kiss your forehead.  
“Say it?” You asked, batting your lashed at him.  
“Don’t get too used to it” he grinned “but I love you”  
“Haha you loovveee me” you teased.  
“Shut up” he rolled his eyes but still smiled. Kissing you softly before leaving you to seep deep into his mattress.


	24. Punishment?

You were only awoken by a knock at the door. You squeezed your eyes closed tight before opening them. What time was it? You leaned up, using all your strength to go to the door.   
“Draco isn’t…” you started explaining as you opened the door. Before you stood Neville, who was tapping his foot. “Oh, Hi Longbottom”   
Before you could say much more Neville had his lips pressed to yours. Causing you to stammer back and into the room where he closed the door behind him.   
“No one told me they found you” he breathed, then pressed his lips to yours again. You brought your hands up, pushing against his chest with your strong arm.   
“What in Merlin’s beard are you doing!?” You were shaking now, your heart racing hard. “Have you been drinking?” you could taste the subtle hint of brandy.   
“No one told me you were okay. Malfoy told me you disappeared and I have been looking for you all day.” he was rushing, his words running together as they stammered from his lips. “Then I- I saw him sitting at dinner without you and I didn’t know what to do.”   
“So you come in here and kiss me? What's wrong with you?”   
“I couldn’t figure out why I was so scared, I couldn’t really process why I spent hours looking for you. I found a bottle in Seamus’s things and I drank it. Now I know why” he leaned in to kiss you again, but you ducked away from him, having to lean hard on the bedpost you got near. He kept speaking “I know why I care so much”   
“You’re barking mad. You need to leave”   
“Please” he begged “I can’t stop thinking about you”  
“Well try harder” you sat weakly on the bed now, your body weak still from the potion.   
“He’s not good enough for you, you’re good. He’s evil” Neville stammered a little as he walked towards you. You shook your head, you head spinning from all the energy you had exerted to even stand.   
“You don’t know me” you spoke through your now pounding headache.   
“I don’t need to know you to know you’re good” he insisted, now leaning on the bed frame himself.   
“You need to leave” you spoke softly. He didn’t move from where he stood, looking simply pathetic. “Please, just leave” You felt your head start spinning again as Draco walked in the room, a small handful of food in his grasp. The potion kicked in, causing your head to hit the blankets as the yelling started. 

You gasped awake, looking around the empty room. Had it all been some weird dream? You let your eyes sink into the food that now sat on the desk. Where was Draco?   
You slipped on some socks, along with one of Draco’s sweaters and some shorts. You wandered out of the room, the halls filled with gentle speaking from the common room. You rounded the corner, hoping maybe to ask who ever was sitting there.   
Once they saw you everyone stopped talking, their faces shocked.   
“Have any of you seen Draco?” you asked.   
“Oh uhh.. Y/L/N, he’s actually talking with Professor Snape” One of the girls spoke.   
“What for?” you leaned your fevered body onto the cool stone wall.   
“Oh dear…” Another girl whispered. “Maybe she doesn’t remember”   
“Y/L/N, he walked in on Neville in his room with you. I guess it didn’t go over well” the first girl explained. You pushed yourself from the wall before they could explain anymore. You needed to find Draco, now.   
You were luckily knocking on Professor Snape's office door before long, the cool feeling of the floor seeping into the ground below your feet. You could hear people talking on the inside, but no one was answering the door. You pulled your fist back, banging on the door.   
It was ripped open suddenly, Snape stood in the doorway. Draco and Dumbledor standing behind him.   
“y/n” Snape sounded surprised to see you, you pushed past him hard. Running to Draco.   
“Are you okay?” you asked as you reached his arms, which grabbed for you.   
“I am fine” he looked down at you. “Why are you out of bed?”  
“Someone said you-” you started panicking.   
“Sh sh sh” he hushed you, pulling your head to him.   
“You shouldn’t even be able to be walking on your own. Why in merlin's beard are you running around the castle?” Snape asked, closing the door and walking in.   
“I needed to make sure Draco was okay” you stood as strong as you could manage, now feeling a little silly in our socks and long sweater.   
“Mr. Malfoy is fine. It’s Longbottom who's going to need recovering” Dumbledor spoke. You had nearly let yourself forget he was standing there. “We were just discussing Mr. Malfoys punishment”   
“Punishment?” you looked to Dumbledor now, whose face was turned down, nearly frowning.   
“Draco attacked Mr. Longbottom” Snape explained. “Unprovoked from what we understand”  
You let out a small laugh, causing all the men in the room to look at you in a disbelieving way.   
“Unprovoked? Neville came into his room without permission and…” you felt a little off in speaking of it. After Neville had just spilled his heart out to you.   
“And?” Snape asked.   
“He kissed me, a few times even though I pushed him away. He tasted of brandy” you look a deep breath. Draco couldn’t afford to get in trouble like this, not when the mission was right around the corner. They would no doubt send him home, which you knew could not happen. Sorry Longbottom…   
“Ah well…” Dumbledor nodded then “That changes things now doesn’t it?”   
Draco’s eyes were stinging your skin as they dug into you.   
“I don’t feel well, can Draco please take me back now?” you asked, needing so badly to just leave.   
“Yes you may go, seems I need to speak to Longbottom.” Dumbledor nodded.   
You clung to Draco’s arm as you walked back to the common room, he didn’t speak until you reached his room. Where Crabbe and the rest of his roommates were sleeping.   
“Did he really do that?” Draco finally asked, clearly not caring that his roommates were trying to sleep.   
“Yes” you nodded, looking down at your hands. Draco’s fingers pulling your chin to look up at him.   
“Are you okay?”   
“Of course I’m okay. He was drunk, it’s okay” you shook your head.   
“It is not okay” Draco was grinding his teeth. “I should have killed him”   
You lifted your hand to his cheek to settle him, he pulled his face away from your hand.   
“No” he said “I want to be mad”   
“Draco please. It’s okay” you spoke, his roommates were all awake now, unspeaking but obviously listening.   
“It is NOT okay” he spat.  
“I did it first… Remember?”   
“That was different.. You were-”  
“Sad? Jealous?.... Drunk?”   
Draco finally sighed, letting your hand touch his face. You expected to feel anger, but instead you felt sadness and pain. “You attacked him for just being in the room with me?”   
“You didn’t see what I saw. You were laying on the bed, you looked unconscious. And Neville was walking over to you when I came in…”  
“You know he’s not like that Draco” you felt a little sick, Neville, though confused and lonely was not evil like that.   
“I know. I just…. I lost control”   
“You alright y/n?” Crabbe asked, rubbing his eyes.   
“I’m alright” you nodded.   
“Right, well then can we go to bed?” Goyle asked.   
“Sure Gregory” you rolled your eyes at him.   
“Tomorrow” you looked at Draco “Maybe we should tell Dumbledor to let Longbottom go?”   
“Is that what you want?” he asked.   
“It is” you nodded. “We all make mistakes”  
“Okay” he pulled you to the bed, letting you crawl into the blankets. “But that's tomorrow. Sleep for me”   
I love you. You mouthed to him, knowing he was private even with his friends on these things. He smiled, rolling his eyes I love you too he mouthed back. Changing into his pajamas. You bit your lip as he pulled away his clothes. Stop it, he mouthed again catching you staring at him.   
You wiggled your eyebrows at him, smiling. He mouthed again, pulling on his bottoms. I hate you.


	25. I love you

“I think it was a misunderstanding” you nodded as you looked at Neville, who sat with his head hanging in the headmasters office.  
“So you don’t wish for us to punish Mr. Longbottom?” Dumbledors reiterated what you explained to him.  
“I can’t say he didn’t drink on school grounds. Because that was true, but I think perhaps I let him believe there was something there that there isn’t.” You leaned your head at him, he looked a little surprised. “But in all honesty Professor,” you looked at him, although it was hard to do, you admit. “Who of us hasn’t drank a little underage?”  
Dumbledor scoffed a little at your words, then nodded.  
“You can go Neville” he waved, Neville stood. Shaking his head a little, clearly shocked by what had just occurred. You walked out together, the magical spiral staircase carrying you down to the hall.  
“I am so sorry y/n” Neville started speaking.  
“Longbottom, just” you shook your head “don’t talk about this again. And I recommend you avoid coming around Draco and I from now on. It took a lot pull for me to get him to ignore this”  
“But… why?”  
“Because you saved me from freezing to death this winter. And I don’t just ignore things like that” you sighed “even if you have ulterior motifs, I appreciate it”  
He started walking away from you, before he did he turned around again “you see” he spoke “that’s how I know you’re not evil”  
You watched his as he walked away, fading into the distance of the hallway. You figured you’d better enjoy someone thinking you weren’t a bad guy, for even the little time you had left. Because I’m just a few short months, the whole world would call you things much worse.  
-  
Your shoulder healed as much as was humanly possible, even with aid of magic. You still would sigh as you looked at yourself in the mirror, your once flawless skin was now absolutely ugly. The skin was thick and pale white, with pink flecks of scaring. You hated it, more than anything in the world. You had even started covering yourself when Draco would walk in the room, hiding away from his eyes. You thought you were being sneaky enough with it until one morning he followed you into the bathroom, smiling as you began to strip down to take a shower. You wager he planned to join you.  
“You go. I can wait” you nodded pulling back on your shirt.  
“Are you mad with me?” He asked “does this have to do with what happened with Longbottom?”  
“What do you mean what happened with Longbottom? Nothing even happened”  
“Then why do you hide from me. Every time I come into the room, you cover yourself. Like you don’t want me to see you… what am I supposed to think?”  
You lifted your arm, pressing it into the cloth on your shoulder.  
“I-“ you felt your breathing shutter a little, no, no, you wouldn’t let yourself cry. Why on earth were you crying? “I just feel so repulsive with this thing”  
“What thing?” He shook his head at you, walking to meet you where you stood.  
“This thing” you pulled on the shirt you wore, showing him the beaten and to you, repugnant shoulder.  
“Y/n” he pulled your chin to look at him. “You must see it worse than it actually is. Because I see absolutely nothing wrong with you“  
“It’s disgusting” you insisted, pulling the cloth back into place.  
“You’re barking mad.” He let his hand slide from your face to your neck, then even slower to your shoulder. “I love you, you know that don’t you?”  
You couldn’t help but be lifted by these words, he didn’t say it a lot. Only when he really needed you to know it.  
“I do I just”  
“And you know that you are always the most perfect” he pulled on your shirt, kissing softly at your neck “goddess like creature to walk on this earth… don’t you?”  
You closed your eyes as he pulled the shirt enough to kiss your shoulder, letting his lips stay there.  
“Not to mention probably the most fearless person I’ve ever met. You took a major blow from Potter and THEN nearly fought a werewolf.”  
“Well if you had heard the shit he was saying at the Weasley’s you would have wanted to, too” you scoffed  
“No” you laughed “I don’t think I would have. You’re stronger than I am. You always have been”  
“You’re plenty strong, Draco. You just needed something to fight for”  
“Yeah…” he nodded “you”  
“I love you too” you smiled, letting him kiss more on your body.  
“Now, will you be joining me?” He pulled away from you. Allowing for your skin to turn cold where his mouth had been.  
“Can you say it one more time?” You asked.  
“I love you. Now take your fucking clothes off”


	26. Do you want it?

You watched over Draco as he knelt by the cabinet, holding a small white bird in his hands. You had been able to send an apple, and it returned with a bite taken out. So it seemed it could go to where it needed to be. Though if someone could survive the journey was another. The bird was the first thing you could think of, and it seemed the easiest to find.   
Draco let the small bird into the darkness of the cabinet, closing the door tight behind it. You watched as white feather drifted, leaning on the sleeve of Draco’s robes. Reaching for it, and taking it into your fingers, you looked at one another. Hoping beyond hope that this would work, you were running out of time.   
“Harmonia Nectere Passus” Draco whispered the spell a few times, his eyes closed as he did. Concentrating all he could manage on the task at hand. You hear the noise, the one it made when the passage between cabinets was made. The small chirping had gone silent. Draco opened it, looking inside to a now completely empty space.   
Now to call it back, you rested your hand on Draco’s shoulder. Asking him to allow you to do it now.   
“No” he said simply, “I will do it” you nodded, this was his mission after all. The noise came again, yet no sounds came after. You could hear only the noises of your breathing in the silent room. Fuck. It hadn’t survived, its small body lay unmoving on the wood.   
You pulled Draco to you as he began to sob, the sounds of his aching heart permeated the air. Everyday this wasn’t done, was another day you had to worry. Another night Dumbledore survived, meant another day of torture for him. And it stung you both.   
You came back here so many times all the days started blending together. You would sneak away into parts of the library you never had, finding things you thought you needed to know. But nothing seemed to be making a difference.   
You would both take turns missing classes, going to the room alone at times to see if something could be done and things would change.   
You had started sneaking away when he slept even, though that wasn’t often. To try and get it done on your own.   
Somedays you would sit in class and think about what would happen had you decided to just go to Dumbledore's office and kill him yourself. You’d be killed no doubt, you may not even make it all the way in the headmasters office. It wasn’t like you wanted him dead anyway.   
You just wanted to somehow relieve Draco from the nights he was living through, the nightmares and the sorrow that had plagued his life. The fear that if he doesn’t do what was asked of him, it wasn’t just his life on the line, but his mothers, fathers, and now to add to all of this, yours as well.   
It was way too much for any one man to carry, even if they seemed as strong as Draco did. 

It was near easter now, another break and a week at the manor was only a few days away. Both of you feared that going there was one thing. Coming back was another.  
You failed yet again one night, sending something away and having it not come back. 

“Let me take it from you” you whispered that night as he sobbed gently beside you, the pressure sometimes taking him over completely.   
“No” he insisted, but not convincingly.   
“Draco, please. You need to sleep” He had been keeping himself up all hours of the night lately reading, and working on that damn thing that he started to look sickly again. He looked up at you from your chest, his sweet gray eyes fogged and glossy. “We will try again tomorrow” you kissed him softly on the forehead. “Now, please. Let me help you”   
He gave in then, feeling your warm lips on him.   
“I will write tomorrow and try to convince them we need to stay the break” the idea had come into your head during dinner, but you weren’t sure how it would fly. “I will tell them we need to be here while most of the students are gone”  
He huffed but didn’t speak on your body. There was no one you had to convince to allow you to stay here, seeing as you were as of this point in time.. Parentless.   
You wrapped your arms around him completely, leaving no barriers between your skin. He let out a long, finally breathing sigh before drifting to sleep. Sending that pain jolting into your bones, but you didn’t move, you wouldn’t. You would take a million nights of heartache if it meant watching him sleep soundly even once. 

“Can’t we just stay here?” Draco begged as you dressed for class the next morning. His roommates no longer lingered for him when they woke up. They knew he didn’t leave your side.   
“You know we can’t stay in here all day” you sighed as you pulled on your sweater.   
“You know we can,” he smiled, reaching to tug on your skirt. You smiled at him, allowing for him to pull you to him.   
“We do still have to go to school you know”  
“Why? It’s not like I can come back here..” he sighed “not that I’d want to without you”  
“Well Mr.Malfoy, I would like to know you finished school or at least tried”   
“You know calling me by Mr. Malfoy doesn’t make me want to leave” he smirked at you.  
“Well it is a pretty lovely last name” you laughed as you tugged away from him. Getting the rest of your things ready.   
He stood then, his face flat. He walked to you something sitting now in the back of his brain.   
“Lets go Mr. Malfoy” you kissed him softly. Pulling him to classes.   
You knew he wasn’t paying attention when Slughorn asked him a question and he didn’t even look up from his book. You nudged his side, making him look back up at you then to Slughorn.  
“I am sorry Professor, what?” he asked.   
“Never mind Mr. Malfoy, just pay attention” he instructed.   
“You okay?” you whispered as Slughorn turned back to the board where he scribbled something.   
“Just distracted,” he admitted, his hand moving to your knee.   
“I love you” you whispered to him, patting his hand softly. He nodded, smiling at you. You never pushed him to say it, that was something he kept private between the two of you when you were all alone. He just expressed it back, rubbing his thumb softly on your leg. 

It was at dinner you really started to feel the tension coming off of him, not the same kind he’d been carrying around with him all year. No, this was something different.   
“Are you sure you’re okay?” you asked as he chewed on the same piece of bread for a long time. He sighed, there really was no point in lying to you, now was there?  
“Can we talk in private?” he asked.   
“If you’re going to go hump one another, please make it fast. I have homework” Goyle rolled his eyes.   
“Mind your mouth” Draco snapped. Goyle held up his hands, shaking his head as he went back to work on his plate.   
“You don’t normally snap at the boys like that. Now I know something is wrong” you crossed your arms as he closed the door behind you both. Locking the door.   
“Do you remember what you said this morning?” he asked  
“Uhh.. that we needed to go to class?” you guessed  
“No, the things about my last name” he was standing close to you now, hovering over you as he stood taller than you.   
“Oh i guess so? I said it was a lovely last name” you shrugged. It wasn’t the first time you complimented his last name. Why did this one stand out?  
“You think it is? Really?” he seemed to be analyzing every word.   
“Yeah?” you shook your head at him “You know I do. Whats going on with you?”   
He closed his eyes, letting a long breath leave him before he spoke. What he said made your heart halt completely.   
“Do you want it?”


	27. Easter Break

“Draco what are you talking about?” You smiled at him  
“Marry Me” his face was stern, you could tell by that alone he wasn’t joking.  
“Draco” you shook your head, maybe you were hearing things.  
“Marry Me” he said again, this time there was no denying what he said.  
“Draco. Stop” you grabbed his hands.  
“No listen to me. I could die by the end of the year and I want you. I want you to be mine for real”  
“You’re mad. You really are. You are not going to die” you had to pull his face back to look at you. “We are going to make it through this.”  
“But what if I don't? I could die alone” he was shaking, his eyes giving way to tears as they rolled down his face.  
“You’re not dying. And you know you’re not alone. I don’t need to be married to you to be with you”  
“So you don’t want to marry me?”  
“Draco” you pulled him to kiss his lips “ask me again after we finish this”  
“Will you say yes?” He asked, a little less needy and frantically.  
“I can promise you, Draco Malfoy” you leaned your forehead to his “I will say yes in an instant”

You nearly begged Narcissa and Lucius to let you and Draco stay at the castle during break. Insisting you’d need the time without students to get it done without worry of being seen. But it seemed they were having it, because their final letter was simply put. 

Y/n,  
We will see you when you arrive. 

-LM

You wondered if Narcissa had any say, because she oftentimes thought far more clearly than anyone else did there.  
“I am sorry Draco” you showed him the letter at the table the night I arrived. The night before break “it seems you’ll be going to the manor tomorrow”  
He shook his head at the words, you had both wanted to be alone for the first time in a really long time.  
“You’re coming with me then” he whispered, leaning into your ear so his words were quiet. “Because I won’t risk that were-beast coming for you”  
“Just because they allowed me to stay with you the last time Draco doesn’t mean they’re willing to allow it again.” You shook your head at him, his eyes watching you as melancholy as they always did.  
“Well take me home. And I’ll talk to my parents”  
“Bossy Mr. Malfoy, very bossy” 

The train ride home was as you expected, Crabbe and Goyle assuming their normal seats across from you. Though you weren’t listening much to their conversions, quidditch chatter as always. You wondered how 3 boys, 2 of which never played, still managed to talk about a sport so deeply like it their lives depended on it.  
“You catching a cab to your house Malfoy?” Crabbe asked.  
“No, y/n is actually going to apperate me to the manor once we get to the platform” Draco nodded, nudging your arm to pull your attention back to them and away from the dark window.  
“Ahh yeah, I guess we spend so much time with you I forget you’re the year above us” Goyle spoke.  
“Ahh yup, I will be 18 by the end of this summer” Your birthday most of the time meant nothing much to you. Though it was going to be nice not having to carry around a fake ID.  
“Too bad you won’t be around next year aye? Could smuggle us some bourbon or something” Goyle jokes, Draco shuffled in his seat. Neither of you had really talked about what life was going to be like next year. Draco most of the time was dead set; he was going to be dead by then, and you were sure he wasn’t, but still weren’t sure what you would be doing. You figured you be sent on recruiting like your parents had once done, gathering different creatures for The Dark Lord's army. But maybe not after what had happened with Greyback, word travels fast through magical beasts. Especially the outlaws.  
“Goodbye everyone” you waved your hand at the group as they wandered to their parents on the platform. You wondered if Narcissa or another one of the death eaters would meet you on the platform but they didn’t. Perhaps it was because you had continued to prove yourself, so you would be that force that kept Draco in check as well. You had to admit, something inside of you wished you would see your parents on the platform, but you weren’t surprised when they weren’t. They had been missing now for months, only confirming to you that they were in fact dead somewhere.  
“Later y/n, Malfoy” They nodded as they met their different groups. You held out your hand to Draco, urging for him to grab it.  
“If they don’t let you stay do you plan to come to my room anyway?” he asked  
“I will do my best”  
“Okay” he let his hand rest on your arm, the world spitting into a whirling storm or white.  
You arrived at the Manor in an instant, Draco, it seemed had become more accustomed to apperating with you. Even standing gracefully and brushing his suite of wrinkles as he did.  
“Mother?” he called once you both straightened yourselves.  
“Ahh Draco, y/n” her voice called “Come in here, we are setting for dinner”  
Draco moved you, setting his hand on the small of you back as he normally did when you were here. Possessive of you.  
You talked into the dining room half expecting it to be filled with people, death eaters ready for another meeting. It was odd almost to see it nearly empty. Lucius, Bellatrix and Narcissa sitting at the table alone over a few plates and cups.  
There were open seats obviously, it wasn’t until you skimmed the table that you say the empty plots set for two. Once for Draco of course, and one for you?  
“Welcome home” Narcissa stood, hugging her son to her for a second then catching you by surprise when she did the same to you. Hugging you close to her side.  
“Mrs. Malfoy” you smiled as she gestured for you to take your seats. Nights like these are the only times Lucius sat at the head of the table. When the Dark Lord wasn’t around, this was the only time he may actually have that standing, man of the house.  
You sat with them, the dinner table was as silent as it always seemed to be unless Narcissa led conversation. You sipped softly on the wine they allowed you both to drink, one glass each.  
“So children” Narcissa started speaking, but was then cut off by Lucius.  
“Is the cabinet done?” He asked  
“Nearly, father.” Draco answered as short as he always did with his father.  
“You said nearly last time” he snapped. The man was starting to heavily come apart at the seams. His eyes were heavy with sleeplessness as they always were, his face hung thin and angry.  
“It’s not an easy task” Draco always seemed to sink into himself when his father was around. The only man it seemed in the whole world aside from the Dark Lord who could make him feel so incredibly small. It made you sick.  
“Perhaps you’re far too distracted” he glared at you.  
“Mind you tone Lucius” Narcissa snapped.  
“You continue to defend the girl Narcissa, she is a distraction to our son” Lucius snared at his wife.  
“She is a motivation to our son. You know it” she snapped back. The tension in the room was thick like fall fog. Which Bellatrix seemed to be completely enthralled with, she chuckled lightly at the back and forth at the table.  
“Something funny Bella?” Lucius asked suddenly, making you look at him with shock. It was one thing for him to be rude to you. Or even his wife and son, it was another thing for him to be rude to her. The Dark Lord's right hand.  
“Yes, actually” She nodded, looking at Lucius. “I think it’s hilarious how bothered you are by your son's relationship.” you resisted the urge to laugh yourself.  
You had never thought of Bellatrix as a particularly funny person, but maybe being mad came with its own perks.  
“You know as well as I do that this witch is a good influence on young Draco” she grinned at you now, her sickly smile. “Even if they can’t stay off one another and get their job done”  
You had to clench your fists to keep from laughing this time, for some reason Bellatrix was cracking you up today.  
“We are getting it done, and we’re not…” Draco tried desperately to gain the courage to say what he was thinking. You knew it was far more uncomfortable for him to speak considering this is his family. Ahh fuck it.  
“Were not always on one another, we have particularly good time management. The cabinet was just far more broken than we had predicted. Everything we send through comes back dead” Bellatrix scoffed then, surprised at your retort. “And we’re running out of first year Gryffindors” you tried hard to fix the tension. Luckily it did, everyone at the table started laughing. You wondered if this was the first time in years these halls heard laughter like this.  
“Well” Narcissa spoke after her deep laughter subsided. “You can go ahead of look in our family library and see if there is anything there that can help you two”  
You were shocked, the Malfoy library was seemingly open to all. Had enchantments to make for the books it held to stay private to those outside of the Malfoy family and those attached to it, Like the Lastrange and even some of the black family.  
“I will go ahead tonight and open the spell to you as well y/n, you can start looking in the morning”  
You and Draco seemed to turn to one another at the same time. Was his mother answering the question that you had both had been trying to find the best time to ask.  
“So” you patted your foot on the ground “Madam LaStrange” you looked over to Bellatrix as she polished off another glass or red wine. “Greyback still wants to rip my face off?”  
She seemed to giggle, like a small hiena. “Oh yes, I wager he’ll want to for a long time. Luckily for you girl, The Dark Lord has commanded he not lay a hand on you”  
“Good” you nodded  
“Though I reckon he wouldn’t get far. Malfoy manor is quite protected” she cocked her head at you. You and Draco both looked at Narcissa at the same time. Who shook her head as if she could read your minds. With that you knew, you’d be spending the next two weeks not alone in your small house in London, but here at the Manor with Draco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a Twitter so I could interact with y’all   
> It’s @EveeLoxMalfoy 🖤


	28. Sooner

After dinner you both sat for a longer while longer than anywhere else, you figured if Narcissa was going to allow you to stay with him you should linger so she could pretend she didn’t know. Although it was ont to long ago she was telling you she wanted you to marry him so maybe sleeping in the same room wasn’t that big of a deal.   
You had to admit, sleeping in Draco's bed was much nicer than the one back at Hogwarts. It was more private and far plusher.   
It wasn’t long before Draco started sliding his fingers over your skin, rising goosebumps.   
“My love” he whispered as he pressed his lips to your collarbone. You rounded your body onto his, laying him back on his mattress. You ground your body on him as you let your mouth meet his. He couldn’t help but moan as you did. “What am I going to do when you’re not with me?” He asked suddenly. Clearly his mind was elsewhere even if he wanted you.   
“Can we not talk about this right now?” You begged   
“Sorry, I just can’t-“ you stopped his words with your lips.  
“Shut up and fuck me” you whispered as you leaned your head into the skin of his neck.  
He stopped talking then, completely. Moving fast to pull away at anything that kept the two of you apart. You gasped a little as he seemed to love your body with ease, turning you so your body lay chest to the mattress.   
“Shhhhh” he seemed to chuckle as he brought his fingers to you and your body let out a moan. “You’ve been thinking about this all day haven’t you?” You couldn’t help but melt when he spoke like this, dirty words that made your body please for him. You pushed your body back onto his hand, answering him without words. “Ahh” he smirked “good girl”   
You moaned as he slowly pushed a finger into you.   
“Shhhhh” he hushed you again, pumping his finger into you a few times. You bit down on your hand, shaking as he continued. You let out a soft needy sigh as he pulled away.   
“I need to hear you” he groaned, moving to your wand and casting the usual silencing spell into the room. He made sure to take his time as he moved his body to yours.   
“Please” you begged, pressing your body onto him.   
“Yes baby” he listened finally, moving to push into you but taking his time. He moaned as his hips met yours, bringing his hands to your hips. Moving slowly at first, then moving faster. His moaning only aided in the pure erotic felling of these moments. That somehow you’d gone from strangers to this, giving yourselves to one another in every way.   
It wasn’t until your legs started to shake that he lessened his brute force, changing from hard rough motions to gentle rolling motions and heavy breaths.   
“I fucking love you” he groaned as he lened into your shoulder, his mouth leaving gentle marks on your skin. Draco’s fingers dug into your skin, needing to level himself suddenly as his body and motions began to shudder.   
“Oh Draco I love you” you moaned back to him as he released, the aided feeling of all his tensions seeping from him. These times made you feel more relief than any of your powers ever could.   
You thought for a moment maybe this would be a simple break, just being with one another at night and going to meetings if needed during the day but otherwise staying out of the way. If Lucius didn’[t see you much than he couldn’t find more needless things to blame you for.   
You did spend a lot of time together in their library, sitting with one another on the food with the door closed as the record player in the room playing one of the same classical music records from their limited collection.  
“As much as I like Chopin, I am sick of listening to his music” you complained as you listened once again to Nocturnes, Op. 9.   
Draco stood from his seated place on the floor, grabbed your waist softly.   
“Draco what are you doing?” You asked as he smiled.  
“Dance with me”   
You couldn’t help the feeling that welled in your stomach as he swayed with you in his arms. The gentle piano filling the room.   
“Shouldn’t we be working?” You whispered as you leaned into his chest.   
“It's one song, I think we’ll be okay” you could hear the gentle smile that sat in his voice, music in its own right.   
You rested so perfectly in his arms, it felt like the rest of the world melted away. Right here, right now, there was no anger. There was no hate. There was no war.There was just the two of you, and what you would do for one another. There was never a time in your life you’d felt like this, you’d never felt so much love in a single space. If you should die, this very moment. You wouldn't fear. For there's never been more completeness like being here. The rest of the world could end and you’d simply let it, so long as it meant this is where you’d stay.   
“Draco” you whispered as the song drifted away from you.   
“Yeah?”   
“How did I manage to live before you?”   
“Probably the same way i did, just getting by until we found each other”  
“We belong.. Don't we”  
“More than anything. I belong to you, and you to me. There is nothing else”   
“Nothing”  
Even as the music ended you stayed there holding each other.   
“Can I tell you something?” he asked  
“Of course”  
“I was once okay with dying at the hands of Dumbledore…” he admitted. “Before you I would have simply let him end me”   
“You wouldn’t have, you wouldn't have done that to you mother”  
“I can promise you, y/n, if not for you. I’d luckily be gone already”  
“I wish I had found you sooner”  
“I am just grateful you found me at all”


	29. control

It was odd how the nightmares happened. You’d sometimes go months without thinking of him, or his death. But for some reason here, in the manor. Nightmares were a constant though you were never sure why.   
One night in particular the nightmare felt so real you awoke to Draco shaking you.   
“y/n, wake up. Please wake up” He whispered.   
“What?” your throat was dry so the words came out horse.   
“You were screaming. I-I didn’t know what to do” he seemed to be shaking.   
“Sorry” you took a deep breath, you felt the sweat on your forehead cooling as the wind rolled in through the nearby open window.   
“You dream of him a lot?” He asked.  
“Wait” you ran your hand over your skin “who?”  
“Matthew…”   
“Oh… no not really. I always get nightmares around this time of year. Anf for some reason…” you stopped yourself, not wanting to seem mad.   
“They’re worse here than at Hogwarts” He finished your sentence, like he could read your mind.  
“Yeah.”  
“I understand. I used to get terrible night terrors as a kid. But only when I was home. I think maybe I just got used to it”  
“Why do you think that is? This place… It’s old but it had nothing on Hogwarts”  
“I never knew. I still don’t” you nodded at his words, maybe it just had something to do with the feeling of the space. The darkness. “Do you want to talk about it… maybe it would help”  
“Have you ever been in love before?” you asked, maybe he was right. Out of everyone in the world, he was the only person you felt you could trust.   
“Before you?” he seemed to be thinking “no, I don’t think so. I have liked people before, but this is so much different”   
You smiled at him, pulling yourself to lean on your elbow to look down to him.   
“This is different, isn’t it?” you smiled.   
“You’ve been in love before, you tell me”   
“It really is… I thought I knew what love felt like, but I didn’t. What I felt for him wasn’t love. At least now I don’t think so. It was obligation. I felt like I had no choice”   
“You don’t feel obligated with me?” For having once been so confident, sometimes made him seem frayed around the edges. You seemed to have that effect on him.   
“I never have, even in the beginning when they asked me to mentor you. I could have easily said no, but something in me wanted to help you.. Be near you”  
“I had a memory. I thought maybe I had made it up, but I just need to know” he asked.   
“Go for it”  
“He took you to Yule didn’t he?”   
“He did” you nodded, Matthew had actually put his name in the goblet and was not happy when Krum was chosen instead. You paid for that mistake.  
“Do you remember in the hallway after the winners were announced?” he asked.  
“No, I don’t really.” you did your best to repress those memories of him, that year of the tournament was hell on you. Even if everyone else enjoyed it, you wished more than anything some nights he had ended up in that graveyard with Harry instead of Cedric.   
“I walked into the hallway and you two were fighting… I didn’t know you then so I didn’t say anything.” Draco’s voice was shallow. “I feel so guilty now, I knew something was wrong, but I walked away”  
“You couldn’t have stopped it.” you brought your hand to his cheek “You saying anything would have only made it all worse”   
“How long after that did you have to..”  
“That summer, actually.”  
“Good… sorry I know it was hard on you. I remember the look on your face when that bugart changed to him. But he got what was coming to him”  
“He is the thing of my nightmares… but not because of what I had to do.”   
“I wish I could go back and help you, say anything, even just break up the fight”  
“You think 4th year Draco would have?” you couldn’t help but smile. He did too, after thinking for a moment.   
“No I guess not”   
“Did you know what was coming that night? The one of the final task?”  
“No, I had no idea actually.. I didn’t get pulled into this until end of 5th year”   
“Your father was there, in that cemetery. My father was as well..”  
“I know he was”  
“I hate my father for pulling me into this… but it got me away from Matthew, so sometimes I am also grateful”  
“I understand,” he said simply, you knew in a way how he felt. But never pushed him, speaking ill of his family just didn’t happen. He was far more attached to them than you were to yours.   
“I love you… and being what we are, brought me to you. So I can’t be mad. I just can’t” you leaned your head into his shoulder.   
“And I love you, if living through all this hell means I get to spend forever with you. I will take it.” he pulled your chin to look at him “and since you promised me you’d marry me after this is all over, now I need to make it. Don’t I?”   
You giggled a little, you couldn’t tell at all if he was serious about the getting married stuff. You were both so young, maybe he thought it was just the next logical thing. You just would enjoy the idea of him being yours, no matter the status.   
“You’re bloody right you’re going to make it. Or i’ll be right guttered” 

Tomorrow you’d return to Hogwarts. It seemed having you here for break was just Narcissa’s way of being around her son as much as possible, since toward the end she would sit with the two of you in the library even if she wasn’t reading.   
She’d order the elves to cook for you, sweet treats and rich coffee. It was actually really nice, you imagined this is what it would have been like had you parents actually wanted you. She’d watch how you and Draco acted around one another, how you’d smile over book pages and jot down sweet little things on the notes you meant to take back with you.   
Your mission had to be done soon, the night was to come before the end of the year. It had to. 

The train ride was like every other, you leaned your head to the cold window as the woods and rivers passed you by. Draco pulled your fingers into his as you dozed off into sleep. Something about the warmth of the train mixed with the humming nonsense of distant conversations made for a peaceful mind. 

You caught your breath as you were pulled from your sleeping, bringing your hand quickly to your nose which was streaming with blood,your shirt covered.  
You looked around the train cart, no one was watching you but not for any reason aside from one. They were all asleep. The entire prefect car was dead silent.   
Even Draco had his head leaning on your shoulder, his gentle breathing would be perfect had it not scared you. No one ever slept like this one the train, let alone everyone.   
It was you…  
You were losing control.


	30. What just happened

“Draco” you nudge him. Needing desperately to go to the bathroom to get rid of this blood on your body before the other started waking up.   
“Hmm?” he asked as his eyes slowly opened. As it did you could see the confusion taking over him as it had you.   
“Y/n, what…” he stopped once he saw you. “Bloody hell, what happened?” he brought his sleeve to your face.   
“I- I don’t know. I have to go to the bathroom it wont stop”   
“Did you do this?” he asked, looking around the train as people started slowly waking.   
“I think so… somethings wrong” you felt a light spinning in your head, how long had your nose been bleeding?  
“Come” Draco stood, his arm still pressed to your face as you rushed to the closest bathroom compartment. Some of the sleepy eyes that had started opening watched you as you rushed away, others just woke their friends. You’d be at Hogwarts soon.   
Draco ignored the eyes of other house students as he pulled you into the restroom, slamming the door shut behind him.   
“How did you do that?” he asked.   
“I don’t know Draco, I fell asleep and when I woke up I was covered in blood and everyone was sleeping.”  
“I remember seeing you sleeping, I stopped myself from pulling you to me because I felt myself getting sleepy.” he explained, wiping away blood from your face with the wet towel.   
“What is going on with me? I haven’t done something like that since that day at the table… I am not usually that strong… and I NEVER do this unintentionally..”   
He seemed to think for a long moment, then shook his head like he was dismissing a thought.   
“What?” you asked.   
“Nothing its just..” he sighed “Are you okay?”  
“I am fine I think… I think maybe I just over did it…” your nose had finally stopped bleeding and you had managed to clean the blood from your face. Your shirt however was another thing. You hadn’t even packed another one, do you’d have to grab your robe and hope it would hide away the blood. Draco took the damp towel and lightly washed away some blood from your hair.   
“Tell me what you’re thinking” you begged, you could nearly feel his brain working.  
“Lets go into the cabin, I want to try something” he grabbed your hand. You were confused, try what exactly?  
You walked back out into the train, where it seemed others were waiting for the restroom. Eyebrows rose as you opened the door. All you could guess making their own assumptions about what you had been doing.  
Until they saw your shirt, eyes widened. Fuck…now what were they thinking?

You crossed your free arm over your body as you returned to your seat. Hiding away the stains the best you could. Draco pulled down your bag and grabbed your robe, seemingly reading your tensions. You quickly wrapped it around you, hiding away the crimson evidence.   
“Sit down” he whispered, gesturing for your seat. You did as he said, pushing your back to the plus booth back. The rest of the cart was talking again, people still confused obviously. He pulled your hand into his under the table. Crabbe and Goyle barely noticed you had left, probably thinking you were doing the same thing you imagined those other students had. “Push me something” Draco whispered as he leaned into your ear. “Something easy”  
Something easy? What was he planning?  
“Like what?” you whispered back.   
“I don’t know… anger?” you nodded, anger was the easiest. You took in a deep breath, clenching his hand. If he was going to get mad you had to be able to bring him back down quickly. You pushed, letting the rolling feeling seep from your skin and into him. Taking on his anxious feeling in return.   
At first nothing seemed to be happening, then his foot started tapping. The peaked of his cheeks started flushing and the vein in his neck stood. Anger filled him like hot water.   
“Would you shut the fuck up?” Thedore Nott snapped suddenly from across the aisle.  
“How about you make me you fucking prat?” Blaise yelled back.   
“You two are so fucking annoying” Goyle growled, his teeth clenched. Draco was shaking, you could tell he was trying harder than anything to stay silent. Wait… wait…  
The whole car arose into argument. People swearing and calling each other anything they could think of. Merlins beard.. This is what he meant.   
You stopped pushing anger, needing all the yelling to stop. As you tried to roll calm into the cart you were caught off guard as Blaise punched Theodore.   
Fuck fuck fuck.   
You pushed the only thing you could manage to think of, joy. Just unadulterated love and happiness. The arguing turned to laughter, relieving the tensions. You were sure people would not forget the things said, but maybe now they can think it was all a joke.   
You pulled your hand away from Draco’s fast, your hand had turned to static, like you had slept on it funny.   
“Wow” Draco sighed as the cart returned to normal. What the fuck just happened?


	31. if they do

Everyone was whispering more when dinner started. You couldn’t figure everyone on that train car would just forget having mood swings to the degree they had without something happening.   
Theodore was nursing a now swollen lip, and Blaise a sore hand. Maybe anger was a terrible idea considering all the tensions in the world right now.   
“Maybe someone set a jinx on the slytherin cart” Pansy suggested.   
“Seemed like it” you shrugged “I can’t believe we all just passed out”   
“Yeah! And you even got that blood nose!” Pansy shook her head.   
“Yeah weird” you were thankful for your absolutely perfected lying abilities.   
“Miss YLN” someone asked for you as the hall started clearing out.   
“Yes Professor McGonagal?”   
“May I speak to you in my office?” She asked. Looking between you and Draco “alone” she added.   
“Uh… okay” you nodded. Standing. Draco grabbed your hand before you could walk away.   
“Draco it’s okay” you smiled at him “I’ll see you in a little bit?”   
“Yeah”   
You followed Professor Mcgonagal to her office without much of a word. She was quick to close the door behind you. You looked around the room, no one had really seen her office outside of Gryffindor students.   
“Sit” she gestured to a seat on the other side of a massive desk. You took a reluctant seat. Or boy what was going on.   
“So” She sat at the seat across from you. “I had a handful of students come to me and say they were concerned about something they saw on the train” She spoke. “Something about you and Mr. Malfoy” you sighed.   
“I am sorry, I swear it isn’t what it looks like” you figured they had reported you two for snogging in the bathroom, considering how long you had been in there you thought maybe they thought it was more than that.   
“No, Miss YLN. They reported it because it looked as though you had been hurt” she gave you a sympathetic look. “I want you to know if you’re not safe…”  
“What are you trying to say?” you clenched your hand in fists in your lap.   
“I am saying domestic abuse is not tolerated at Hogwarts”   
You had to resist laughing.   
“Since when?” you asked, maybe a little too aggressively.   
“Excuse me?” She seemed shocked, as if they didn’t know what hell you went through in those very halls for a year.  
“All of a sudden you care about this shit? When I was 15 having to walk around these halls with black eyes and broken ribs? When I was scared to even leave my room? Maybe you were all tooo busy with Harry Potter being in the tournament to even notice other students. Let alone a Slytherin one. What about when I was a kid, huh? And my parents would forget to get me from the train station so I had to ride back to Hogwarts. Alone. Why didn’t you care then?? Why now?” you stood “Because now its not some Dumstrung overachiever? Or my parents…?” you were shaking so furiously you felt like your skin may set flame. “Just admit this has nothing to do with protecting me. It has everything to do with you wanting Draco to be the bad guy. Draco would never lay a hand on me. EVER.” you had to actually resist screaming. “How dare you. How FUCKING dare you!” you hadn’t even noticed the tears that ran like hot ash down your face.  
“Miss YLN, “ She spoke finally. Clearly shocked but your outburst and reaction.   
“You don’t know him, not that any of you ever cared to”  
You stormed out of the room because she could say anything else. This all made you feel so sick to your stomach you could barely manage it. You can’t remember a single time in your life you had ever felt so angry before, let alone this absolute rage that filled every inch of you. You wager had you walked back into that grand hall you may just set everyone into the same fit of rage that you were feeling. Maybe you didn’t care.   
You just walked in the doorway, you wager you looked an absolute mess standing there. You fists clenched and your shirt still dirty. You had to nearly grind your teeth to keep yourself from sobbing completely.   
You noticed Pansy pointing Draco in your direction, she was standing fast. That was it, it seemed, seeing him standing there with the perfectly innocent and confused look on his face. They wanted him to be evil so badly, that they would put anything they could manage on him to make him so. And it was disgusting. You started crying so hard you could barely see.   
You didn’t care that everyone was watching you, because fuck all of them.   
Draco wrapped you in his arms, and you leaned into him.   
“Baby what happened?” he whispered, patting your hair.   
“I hate this fucking school” you felt yourself shaking. Draco set his and under your chin, moving your head to look at him.   
“Y/n, breath, I am right here” you were all that matter here. No matter who was watching. “What happened?” He asked again. You sighed, sniffling.   
“Someone told Mcgonagal that they thought you gave me that bloody nose on the train” you could see the hurt that ran across his face. You wager he felt the same way you did, seeing as he knew everything you had been through and what little attention you had been given at the time.   
“Since when do they care?” he asked  
“I said the same thing”   
“Guys” Pansy startled you as she walked over, you hadn’t even noticed everyone was watching, blanetly. You hastily wiped the remnants of tears from your face. “Maybe you should go to the common room” she suggested.   
“Yeah” Draco nodded. As you turned to leave you stopped, tugging Draco a little as he moved with you close to him. You turned back toward the grand hall, where everyone was still watching you.   
“I know you all want to think Draco is some monster. And maybe it fits your narrative to make him a woman beater too. But he’s not. And maybe if those of you who all of a sudden care had been around years ago I wouldn’t have almost died.”  
“Y/N, come on” Draco pulled your arm again. “Lets just go”  
“I hope you’re all proud of yourselves” you looked directly to who you figured had spoken, literally anyone at the Gryffindor table. You and Draco walked into the hallway, his arm wrapped tight around your shoulder.   
“I love you” Draco stopped you once you were alone, pressing his lips to your hair. “You know I would never do that to you right?”   
“Of course I do.”   
“Then I don’t care if they don’t”


End file.
